A blow I'm not sure I can recover from

Hey everyone,
At this point I am not entirely sure about how I progress from here.

Today I lost what is probably my favorite Boa... Phoenix was a 2009 girl whom I thought was a boy...
"He" was placed with another male on another female of mine in the hopes to see some breeding activity... suddenly, I saw the other male courting "him" instead.
One probe later and yeah... Phoenix was a she.

She became swollen and refused a meal... I feared she was maturing follicles so I placed her with males... I reckoned that an early pregnancy with live young is better than one full of slugs(harder on the Boa).

Today I noticed her at an odd angle... she lost strength rapidly and passed away in the evening.

I had her since she was 1 week old... she was an outstanding animal and I had high hopes for her...

I am not sure if I can really continue from this point... even though there are others... the attachment here was so real... it just takes out every bit of joy from it all. It is still too early to make any decisions... but this definitely shakes my resolution.

















I am not sure how to say goodbye to her... I regret for not being as good a keeper as I should have been. I plan on sending her for an autopsy to understand what went wrong.

Goodbye Phoenix.

I am so sorry for you loss.

Wow...Oren...sorry is so damn inadequate...my thoughts and prayers are with you.....

I am very sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you get the answers you are looking for in the autopsy. It's always hard to believe that things will get better in times like this, but we all know that in truth it does. My thoughts are with you.

Im sorry for your loss and she was a great looking boa

Kokopelli, I am so sorry for your loss. Phoenix sure was a beautiful girl, and she would want you to continue from this point... for her. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sorry for your loss-she was a beautiful girl

Darn, she was sooooo pretty! Wish you strength!

Oren- I am so sorry. Sooooo sorry. If you keep snakes long enough, you will lose one. And it seems like it's always the one that hurts the most. But- if you love snakes, and I _know_ you do, your heart will heal and some day you will love again. Of course, you will be in my prayers.


"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan."

Irving Townsend.

I am so sorry to hear about that.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I know how you feel. A couple of years ago I lost a number of snakes in my collection...enough to make me rethink keeping any. I hope the necropsy helps you find out what caused the death. Whenever a boa goes it makes me worried. Fortunately, none of my animals tested positive for anything really bad like crypto or IBD. She was a stunning animal and I'm sure when you've had time to come to terms with it, you'll find you pick yourself up and continue on. It's all you can do. You'll find the joy again I'm sure.....

Im so sorry for your loss, she was a great looking snake.

Oren, I am sorry for your loss. I hope the necropsy comes back with some answers.

oh gosh i am so sorry for your loss

My deepest sympathies for your loss. Don't let it stop you from continuing to work with the animals you love. Let her inspire you to produce more beautiful snakes in her memory.

Oren! I'm so so sorry to hear about that. When I had my heat snap, I was ready to quit. Quit both my job and reptiles forever. I didn't want to think about reptiles. I realized I had to keep my chin up and push on because it was my passion, and drive in life.

Oren, you're a dedicated keeper that has a lot of potential. Keep your chin up, and it'll get better with time.

Oren, I am so sorry that you lost your beloved girl.

Oren, words cannot express how sorry I am. Having been on the forum for quite a while, I've watched Phoenix progress throughout the years through your photographs. I know that whatever went wrong, it was through no fault of your own.

Thank you everyone, it is deeply appreciated.
I doubt I will stop completely... I mean... on the one hand I find little joy in it right now... but when I considered stopping altogether, all I saw was blank... it is something which took root so deeply that I can't really see an appealing alternative.

Yes... Crypto and IBD are my worse concerns at the moment, but I already booked an autopsy. If she tests positive for either... I don't want to consider it at the moment... though naturally I won't hide it.

Her deterioration was so fast though(8 hours tops) that I don't believe either Crypto or IBD are fast enough.
The Doctor who will conduct the autopsy is aware of IBD and knows how to diagnose it- though he too agreed that it seems too fast to be the cause.

We'll see, I guess.

Thank you, truly.