Many thanks...

I have been a moderator on a fish forum since 2006. That's a long time to be a moderator on any forum. Lately, I have become seriously peeved with this particular fish forum due to the amount of "middle school" crap that goes on there with the moderators and some long-standing members. Going through all of this with another forum makes me appreciate CS.com more, and I wanted to thank all of you. We may not always agree or see eye to eye, but at least here, no matter what, I feel like I am free to express an opinion one way or the other without being bullied.

Thanks guys.

Shut-up! This isn't a place for froo-froo feelings. Take that back to your fishing hole.








Just kidding....


I know what you mean...this is a great site for exactly what you are talking about.

LMAO!

Lauren, I know that feeling all too well. I have to mod my mods because they can't seem to keep their feelings for the "problem children" under control. It can be exhausting. I think this site does a great job of that (except that Jeff guy) and it's generally a fun place to be. (well, except for that Jeff guy.)

:grin01:

Aaaand, I just saw that you joined my site!! That will surely make you appreciate this place even more!!

I know I could never be a moderator, I'm way too power-hungry and can hold onto a grudge for decades....
Just another reason to love this place, it's fantastic moderators (except for that Jeff guy....)

Lauren, I had no idea what a hypancistrus was...can't even pronounce it,..for the longest time I didn't know your real first name, and couldn't pronounce your nickname, it was a mess!!
Finally, I found out your name, and googled hypancistrus, learned something, and that's pretty good!

MohrSnakes said:

Shut-up! This isn't a place for froo-froo feelings. Take that back to your fishing hole.

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You just lost my vote for the next moderation ballot.

starsevol said:

Lauren, I had no idea what a hypancistrus was...can't even pronounce it,..for the longest time I didn't know your real first name, and couldn't pronounce your nickname, it was a mess!!
Finally, I found out your name, and googled hypancistrus, learned something, and that's pretty good!

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It usually happens that way, unless the person reading it happens to be a fish person... in which case they inevitably PM me saying "Do you breed them? How much do you want for one?" Ha! :noevil:

Last night I was so pissed off at 1:00 in the morning that I resigned my moderator status to the site owner. I can't deal with it anymore... I love sharing what I know, but I am so darn sick of playing the PC fluffy bunny BS that you have to play to be a mod. I just want to get back to flat out answering questions and offering what I know without feeling like I have to justify it if I decide not to go to that site for a day. Good riddance!

Hypancistrus said:

You just lost my vote for the next moderation ballot.



It usually happens that way, unless the person reading it happens to be a fish person... in which case they inevitably PM me saying "Do you breed them? How much do you want for one?" Ha! :noevil:

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Well, ya know, it was prettyyyyyy bad when you met Tara and all I could think was "it's so good Tara met that nice Hypan...Hypa...oh whatthehell...Hypanwhuzsername girl!!

I know EXACTLY what you mean! It took me ages to say it right!

Well, I learned that it was some kind of catfish, but still wouldn't try to pronounce it, lol! I just call her "hypo", seems more "corny". I also like names that have a "hidden" meaning as a way to get to know people who share your interest.

I have never been a moderator, and never want to be. Well, Bill and I were "sort of" moderators on the Reptiles Magazine site, but they paid us to hang out and answer questions to try to increase traffic, so we didn't have to do all of the "real" moderator stuff. But that didn't last too long.

I am not a confrontational person, and like to choose my own battles, so don't think I would like having to fight for somebody's rules and policies that aren't even my own - especially for free! The mods here really do a good job - and they work "cheap"! Better them than me!

Sorry the fish forum didn't work out. The whole reason I like hanging out here is because it feels like such a "real" community, with lots of different kinds of people who GENERALLY get along very well, and GENERALLY police themselves pretty well, compared to most forums. And I like the lack of censorship and lack of simply deleting posts and threads, compared to some forums.

Guess you will have even more time to hang out here, Lauren!

You got that right Kathy! I am still working in the "non-finned pets" section of the fish forum, but only as a regular poster. I have no interest in doing the moderating anymore. Sadly my one friend who is a site administrator cannot understand the way I feel and has chosen not to be friends with me regarding this. I wish it had not come to that, but it is her decision. We were friends in the "real world" as well, so it comes as quite a blow. Oh well-- her loss!

It is a shame when people let their emotions take over to the point where they would give up a (hopefully) valued friendship over something as unimportant as doing volunteer work on a forum. She may rethink her decision after time has allowed logic to settle in. If not, then she may not have been as good of a friend as you thought. And she might have done you a favor by showing her true colors, and allowing you to move on to a deeper friendship elsewhere. You have lots of friends here!

One of the things I like best about Jeff is his PC fluffy bunny BS. I've never really understood the function of a moderator. Doesn't everyone just naturally abide by the rules?

kathylove said:

It is a shame when people let their emotions take over to the point where they would give up a (hopefully) valued friendship over something as unimportant as doing volunteer work on a forum. She may rethink her decision after time has allowed logic to settle in. If not, then she may not have been as good of a friend as you thought. And she might have done you a favor by showing her true colors, and allowing you to move on to a deeper friendship elsewhere. You have lots of friends here!

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This was, I suppose, the final "straw." She has not approved of my relationship with Tara due to a single incident that I have asked her repeatedly to let go. I also started to feel as if she was "crushing" on me in a big way... the way she has been acting towards Tara just seems like classic jealousy to me. I have tried working things out... told her this was nothing personal, simply me moving on to other interests and trying to do right by a forum I don't fit in at anymore. If she can't understand that, I can't make her, you know?

wade said:

I've never really understood the function of a moderator.

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I am a member of a wide variety of forums. I spent most of my time here and at this fish forum, and I modded for another fish forum for a time as well. Each forum has a different flavor. I believe Kathy said that here folks do a great job of self-policing. At the fish forum, this was not the case. It was a much more... politically correct.... forum. You were basically told to bend over backwards to be polite to all people. As a moderator I once got chastised for a thread on PETA that went bad... we had a member who was spreading PETA propganda on the board and I called her out on it with links to PETA's info on fish keeping and captive animals as pets. She then turned around and said I was attacking her for her opinion (heck, maybe I was-- but I am NOT sorry for it) and I got reprimanded.

They also don't like it when you tell someone, particularly a newby, that what they are doing or saying is likely to get their fish killed. You're supposed to be gentle with people new to the forum... to me, a pet forum should do its best to get people to not kill their new pets... it would be like people being all mild and happy on here if someone came in and said they were keeping their corn in a 10 gallon without heat in a 65 degree house... do we beat around the bush or just come right out and say "Hey, that isn't gonna work, here's why..."

I like that in this forum you can basically express any opinion you want and people might give you a hard time, but it's not going to be censored and you won't be pulled aside and told to "stop that now." I like that we are here for the animals first and foremost and cut out the crap when people are clearly abusing their pets. I don't know if that makes sense, but that is how I have started to feel with regards to forums.

Sounds like there was a lot more to it than just the forum, then. Guess you might have to accept that it wasn't a relationship that can continue, unless she somehow changes to make it possible in a way you are comfortable with.

I very much believe in tact and diplomacy. But that doesn't mean you can't state your opinion honestly - just "nicely". Some people here have occasionally been a little "too" brutally honest, in my opinion. But USUALLY (not always, though), if it is uncalled for, others will step in to call them on it, USUALLY even before mods get involved. And that is what I like about this community. Keeping in mind that written posts don't communicate all of the nuances of face to face meetings, I think we generally do pretty well here. I was only on your fish forum once, as a guest speaker, so can't really compare that site to this one.

wade said:

I've never really understood the function of a moderator. Doesn't everyone just naturally abide by the rules?

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Actually, that was meant to be sarcastic. One of my favorite forms of entertainment is to see how far you can bend a moderator before they break. Just ask Jeff and Susan. They can tell you. I still love them though. In a very appropriate manly way of course.

Yes, the mods here are great!! I've done some modding in the past (and I guess mod a fan community). It's not too bad with the right rules and people in place, although a bad mod can of course @$#$ that all up. Everything here seems to be great though - hence why it's probably the one forum I hang out in much

The one time I accidentally started breaking a rule the mods were *really nice* about letting me know, which I appreciate. I didn't do it on purpose, just after years of visiting I guess I got a little blind to the stickies and forgot what they said :O

Hypancistrus said:

I like that in this forum you can basically express any opinion you want and people might give you a hard time, but it's not going to be censored and you won't be pulled aside and told to "stop that now." I like that we are here for the animals first and foremost and cut out the crap when people are clearly abusing their pets..

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kathylove said:

I very much believe in tact and diplomacy. But that doesn't mean you can't state your opinion honestly - just "nicely". Some people here have occasionally been a little "too" brutally honest, in my opinion. But USUALLY (not always, though), if it is uncalled for, others will step in to call them on it, USUALLY even before mods get involved. And that is what I like about this community. Keeping in mind that written posts don't communicate all of the nuances of face to face meetings, I think we generally do pretty well here.

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Hear, hear! I've learned so much on this forum, and I prize the community here. This is a special place.