Adult content in threads..

Rich, I don’t see an easy solution to this problem as the mods and you don’t have a clear guideline of what is and isn’t appropriate on this forum (as some find homosexuality offensive, but talking about smoking pot OK). I enjoy this forum maybe to much, as not reading and posting is very difficult for me.
I agree with you when I was a kid I would have loved a website like this, but then computers filled rooms not my lap.
I have an idea keep the 'gen chit chat' as a “these are my other animals…other snakes…reptiles.” In other words animal talk only no “look at me, no wedding pics, no birth announcements….” I enjoy these discussions as much as the next person, but these are some of the posts that get offensive. If people have the need to post this type of information they take it to ‘hell’ (fauna forum).
My .02 cents worth, susang

I've mulled this over a little, and I think I agree with tyflier and others. I think I like the idea of having an adults-only forum. It seems that there have been two different kinds of problems of late. One, is that people are crossing lines that the majority of adults themselves here are comfortable with (e.g., comments that many people find degrading to women). Another is that people are having discussions that other people don't want their children seeing (e.g., lengthy discussions about "gay" as a common term that implies something negative).

I don't think anyone here wants a free-for-all forum where disrespect for others, threats of violence, degrading comments, racist comments, how-to discussions about drug use, etc., are allowed. I certainly don't, and in my pretty careful reading of the two recent threads about what is and isn't ok for public discussion here, I didn't hear anyone else saying they wanted or condoned such behavior here.

However, it might be nice to have a STILL MODERATED place where all the current forum rules of interpersonal respect and tolerance still apply, just as they do everywhere else on this forum, but where one can have discussions free from the criticism of "I don't want my kids to see this kind of thread." Photo threads that get a little racy can be moved there, even if the mods still warn about toning it down. If a person contacts the mods about hunting photos being upsetting for children to see, it can be moved to the adult section. And if a thread turns to civil rights and social issues--be it gay rights in the U.S., the equality of women in the U.S., the recent Pew survey that concludes that black sentiment about the future for blacks in America is becoming increasingly negative, abandoned female infants in China, the stoning of women by men in right-wing Muslim communities, or the invisible children of Uganda being kidnapped and forced to serve in the LRA--or politics--whether Obama can win, what about the war, the economy, illegal immigration, etc.--it can be started in or moved to the adult section.

Most discussion of recent topics indicates that people don't mind seeing my (gay) anniversary camping/herping trip photos or a few sexual jokes from time to time in general chit-chat, but they don't want their children to see lewdness, lengthy conversations about lewdness, lengthy conversations about the offensiveness of particular lewd comments, or lengthy conversations about gay rights in there. And I'm ok with that. To be honest, those types of topics ARE adult topics. I don't really care all that much about the opinion of a 12-year old on illegal immigration, it's a discussion for adults. I don't think that it's a subject inappropriate for children, but others might. An illegal immigrant might not want his or her child reading the vitriol that such a thread is bound to elicit from a few. I don't care about the opinion of a 12-year old on gay civil rights; they have a lot of maturing to do before they can vote anyway--that's a serious adult discussion, too. I don't think it's one that's inappropriate for children, but I do think it's one they can't fully participate in, and I'd be happy to have it housed in an adult forum. And that applies to political discussions, or those about religion. Those topics are not inappropriate for children, but who among us really wants to have a serious philosophical discussion about either of those topics with a child? And, maybe the Mormons don't want their children to hear non-Mormons' take on Mormonism, or maybe the Catholics don't want their children to hear criticism of the papacy, or maybe fundamentalist Christians (which I grew up as) don't want their children to hear misplaced jokes about snake-handling. Heh heh. On this forum that would actually be kind of funny. But anyway, serious discussions of such topics are inherently adult.

What I DON'T want to see is every camping picture I post of my wife and I standing smiling by a cactus relegated to the adult forum while hetero pictures of SO's are fine for general chit-chat. What I DON'T want to see is every "me too" I post that follows a male member's post of appreciation of a female member's picture relegated to the adult forum while the male members' posts get to stay in general chit-chat. I would have to continue to challenge that as a double-standard. But that's not really where I expect this to go, so I don't anticipate that as being a problem. I would be really happy, however, to have a place where I felt comfortable starting a "shout out" thread every October for national coming out day. I've wanted to do so for the last two Octobers, but I haven't, because (contrary to what is probably the popular assessment of my character) I haven't wanted to go out of my way to stir up what I knew would be a controversial issue. In an adult-only forum, I would feel comfortable starting such a thread (right alongside the recent "Military shout-out" thread, which, since adults are the ones who serve in the military, would also best be housed in the adult-only forum, IMO), because I wouldn't have to worry that someone is freaking out about their kids reading about (*gasp*) the gay people on the boards (of which, incidentally, there are quite a few).

So, free-for-all forum, no thank you. Adult-only forum that abides by the general forum rules and is still moderated, yes, please.

I have no particular desire to exclude mature children (and would have hated it when I was 16), but any mature child whose parents agree with them that it's important for them to be exposed to and participate in the kinds of discussions that would take place in the adult forum would surely be able to find their way to it, anyway.

If, at a later date, there were things that most members were uncomfortable with happening in the adult only forum (like detailed discussions of illegal recreational drug use, or members hitting on other members in such a way that offended most members' sensibilities) the creation of a "Hell" forum could be brought up at that point. But at this point, it doesn't seem like the forum members want someplace like "hell," but would appreciate a place to have earnest, honest, respectful adult discussions of topics that are important to them without having to worry that someone is going to say not to talk about it because their kids might see it.

I agree with Stephanie.

Nanci

Originally Posted by Nanci

I agree with Stephanie.

Nanci

Me too.That sounds like a sound solution, it could be a great addition to the site

What Stephanie has proffered seems to be the best solution, IMHO.

This won't eliminate the """problem""" (and I use "finger quotes" here) brought to the the fore in the recent threads. Some people will always be offended by some of the content posted - but this tack would seem to be the best solution.

regards,
jazz

Here's another vote for Stephanie's suggestion. I think an "adult table" is a good idea. However, much like Stephanie, I would hate to see things relegated to the adult corner in an unfair manner. Not that this has happened or will be a problem...just a concern I want to stress.

IMO...someone is always going to be offended. Even if the title of a topic clearly and succinctly stated what was contained within, and it was relegated to the "adult table", and people maintained a high level of respect...someone would still get offended. We can't stop that from happening. We also can't prevent parents from frowning on the simple fact that an adult corner exists. But I think that this recommendation satisifes both the effort of protection from offense, as well as the obvious(at least to me) desire that alot of people have to maintain that community feel, and social banter, which is important in real life, and in virtual life, IMO.

My $.02...before inflation...

Another vote for Stephanie's suggestion.

Thanks for starting this thread Rich! I followed the original thread pretty carefully, but never got around to posting in it before it got locked.

I spend more time on the chit-chat than the whole rest of the forum combined. I don't go to other non-corn sites to discuss politics or whatever, because I like discussing non-reptile topics with the community of people I already know here. I do "my share" to try to help answer some of the corn questions, and I enjoy a serious corn discussion at times (unfortunately they are not quite as numerous as they once were, but we still have some interesting discussions), but that is not what really binds me completely to the CS community we have here.

I really enjoy some of the spirited, but respectful, debates / discussions on topics such as religion and politics. And I enjoy the banter, humor, and sometimes innuendo that may not be suitable for all ages. My own participation is generally fairly restrained (compared to remarks I might make in person during conversation with friends), as I am acutely aware that my words represent me to the whole world for all time, and are recorded for posterity on the Web (maybe an exaggeration, but not by much). That feeling of camaraderie is why I wouldn't want to see more restrictions on a chit-chat type forum, unless there is a good alternative available.

But, as Tyflier, Desertanimal, and others have pointed out, we can have the best of both worlds. A "G" rated chit-chat for all, plus a place for adults to loosen up a little and discuss adult topics in a respectful, but adult manner.

I surely don't want to see "HELL" in CS, but a respectful adult forum as described by the aforementioned members would be a welcome place to relax and enjoy time with other adult members. And restricting it to contributing members would give members one more reason to become contributors, if they are interested in the new forum. If a parent wants their child to see a particular thread on the forum, that parent can always decide to show it to them - or not.

Sounds like a great idea to me - count me in!

BTW, I want to add that I think the elected mods have been doing a great job of trying to appease totally disparate ideals on what a forum should be. I am really happy that I am not charged with that impossible task! I think their jobs will be much easier if there is "a place for everything, and everything can be put in its place".

I vote with those above, new forum if needed, but no free for all. There's nothing fun about a debate if it turns to personal attacks..

One, is that people are crossing lines that the majority of adults themselves here are comfortable with (e.g., comments that many people find degrading to women). Another is that people are having discussions that other people don't want their children seeing (e.g., lengthy discussions about "gay" as a common term that implies something negative).

In eithier case those are crossing lines of people period.. This is what irriatates me to no end.. It crosses the line on what different people accept period.. What is not offense to you could very mean it is offensive to me, and quite unacceptable to eithier party..

I don't let my kids come to this site, because of some of the topics, the BS, and of course what I see as the double standard that is more than apparent to a lot of people..

I know my stand on things, and I know where a lot of members stand, and they are two completely different positions.. Yea, Stephanies idea is Ok, but I totally agree Dale, and I can see it just turning into Hell anyways ( In this case, the general forum ), because opinions are just like butts.. You post something that might be contraversial to others, you best be ready to for some reaction or just don't post it all..


I have considered just walking away from this site, and I do know some folks would applaud.. Quite frankly, I see a double standard, within parts of the community which has really made this place uninviting to me for quite a long time, well over a year.. I think there is going to be another split coming here, which to some would be quite welcoming and others would be quite saddening.

Regards.. Tim of T and J