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Discussions about this site How is this site doing? Any suggestions to make? This is the forum to talk about this website in general.

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Old 07-04-2009, 02:21 PM   #11
kathylove
It is a shame when people let their emotions take over to the point where they would give up a (hopefully) valued friendship over something as unimportant as doing volunteer work on a forum. She may rethink her decision after time has allowed logic to settle in. If not, then she may not have been as good of a friend as you thought. And she might have done you a favor by showing her true colors, and allowing you to move on to a deeper friendship elsewhere. You have lots of friends here!
 
Old 07-04-2009, 04:51 PM   #12
wade
One of the things I like best about Jeff is his PC fluffy bunny BS. I've never really understood the function of a moderator. Doesn't everyone just naturally abide by the rules?
 
Old 07-05-2009, 04:29 PM   #13
Hypancistrus
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathylove View Post
It is a shame when people let their emotions take over to the point where they would give up a (hopefully) valued friendship over something as unimportant as doing volunteer work on a forum. She may rethink her decision after time has allowed logic to settle in. If not, then she may not have been as good of a friend as you thought. And she might have done you a favor by showing her true colors, and allowing you to move on to a deeper friendship elsewhere. You have lots of friends here!
This was, I suppose, the final "straw." She has not approved of my relationship with Tara due to a single incident that I have asked her repeatedly to let go. I also started to feel as if she was "crushing" on me in a big way... the way she has been acting towards Tara just seems like classic jealousy to me. I have tried working things out... told her this was nothing personal, simply me moving on to other interests and trying to do right by a forum I don't fit in at anymore. If she can't understand that, I can't make her, you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wade View Post
I've never really understood the function of a moderator.
I am a member of a wide variety of forums. I spent most of my time here and at this fish forum, and I modded for another fish forum for a time as well. Each forum has a different flavor. I believe Kathy said that here folks do a great job of self-policing. At the fish forum, this was not the case. It was a much more... politically correct.... forum. You were basically told to bend over backwards to be polite to all people. As a moderator I once got chastised for a thread on PETA that went bad... we had a member who was spreading PETA propganda on the board and I called her out on it with links to PETA's info on fish keeping and captive animals as pets. She then turned around and said I was attacking her for her opinion (heck, maybe I was-- but I am NOT sorry for it) and I got reprimanded.

They also don't like it when you tell someone, particularly a newby, that what they are doing or saying is likely to get their fish killed. You're supposed to be gentle with people new to the forum... to me, a pet forum should do its best to get people to not kill their new pets... it would be like people being all mild and happy on here if someone came in and said they were keeping their corn in a 10 gallon without heat in a 65 degree house... do we beat around the bush or just come right out and say "Hey, that isn't gonna work, here's why..."

I like that in this forum you can basically express any opinion you want and people might give you a hard time, but it's not going to be censored and you won't be pulled aside and told to "stop that now." I like that we are here for the animals first and foremost and cut out the crap when people are clearly abusing their pets. I don't know if that makes sense, but that is how I have started to feel with regards to forums.
 
Old 07-05-2009, 06:07 PM   #14
kathylove
Sounds like there was a lot more to it than just the forum, then. Guess you might have to accept that it wasn't a relationship that can continue, unless she somehow changes to make it possible in a way you are comfortable with.

I very much believe in tact and diplomacy. But that doesn't mean you can't state your opinion honestly - just "nicely". Some people here have occasionally been a little "too" brutally honest, in my opinion. But USUALLY (not always, though), if it is uncalled for, others will step in to call them on it, USUALLY even before mods get involved. And that is what I like about this community. Keeping in mind that written posts don't communicate all of the nuances of face to face meetings, I think we generally do pretty well here. I was only on your fish forum once, as a guest speaker, so can't really compare that site to this one.
 
Old 07-05-2009, 06:23 PM   #15
wade
Quote:
Originally Posted by wade View Post
I've never really understood the function of a moderator. Doesn't everyone just naturally abide by the rules?

Actually, that was meant to be sarcastic. One of my favorite forms of entertainment is to see how far you can bend a moderator before they break. Just ask Jeff and Susan. They can tell you. I still love them though. In a very appropriate manly way of course.
 
Old 07-06-2009, 10:40 PM   #16
Silvergrin
Yes, the mods here are great!! I've done some modding in the past (and I guess mod a fan community). It's not too bad with the right rules and people in place, although a bad mod can of course @$#$ that all up. Everything here seems to be great though - hence why it's probably the one forum I hang out in much :P

The one time I accidentally started breaking a rule the mods were *really nice* about letting me know, which I appreciate. I didn't do it on purpose, just after years of visiting I guess I got a little blind to the stickies and forgot what they said :O
 
Old 07-08-2009, 08:08 PM   #17
Caryl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypancistrus View Post
I like that in this forum you can basically express any opinion you want and people might give you a hard time, but it's not going to be censored and you won't be pulled aside and told to "stop that now." I like that we are here for the animals first and foremost and cut out the crap when people are clearly abusing their pets..
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathylove View Post
I very much believe in tact and diplomacy. But that doesn't mean you can't state your opinion honestly - just "nicely". Some people here have occasionally been a little "too" brutally honest, in my opinion. But USUALLY (not always, though), if it is uncalled for, others will step in to call them on it, USUALLY even before mods get involved. And that is what I like about this community. Keeping in mind that written posts don't communicate all of the nuances of face to face meetings, I think we generally do pretty well here.
Hear, hear! I've learned so much on this forum, and I prize the community here. This is a special place.
 

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