You might get a chuckle out of this.

A few weeks back I was holding my Strawberry Corn in my recliner.
For some reason he wrapped himself around my forearm and squeezed very tightly. He has never done that to me with that much force before.
I got him unwrapped and while doing so I noticed that just ahead of his vent it was swelled up. I then started to wonder if he was getting fat, seeing that's the first part that will store excess fat.
So now with him on my chest he starts to crawl to my shoulder and around my neck. Nothing unusual about that, he does that all the time.
I grab my phone and with the selfie turned on I look to see if he is starting over the back of the chair or just going around my neck.
About then I feel something cool on my left arm and thinking his tail was off my shirt sleeve. I look at my arm and his tail is still on my shirt, but I start hearing a squirting sound.
I realize what is taking place and call my wife telling her I need help.
By now I have him in one hand putting my phone down with the other and...
Have you ever seen a Labrador with very bad diarrhea?
My wife wants to know what I need her to do, and I told her to just help me get up without spreading the mess any further.
While grabbing and wiping me off she almost added to the mess.
So when I got out of the shower I told my wife " On the bright side, that kept me from having to clean his vivarium"