Just complaining... about forum bullies

[NH93]

Hi everyone...

I'm sorry to rant (well, not really), but I am getting so tired of people bullying each other on forums. I don't mean here necessarily - although I have seen it before.

I recently got quite attacked by an opinion I posted on another snake forum, because I disagreed with something someone said about live feeding. It's not a big deal, and I *think* I dealt with it maturely.

I have just been noticing a lot lately that people aren't respecting other's opinions, or they are TELLING someone how they should be doing things, without that other person even asking for their input.
I'm not saying that if you hear about someone doing something you think is very detrimental to their snake that you shouldn't speak up, but I think it can be done without attacking another person... or being sort of sarcastic, you know?

I don't think it's necessary to make people feel stupid because they don't know something. And it is tough online too, because emotions aren't felt through a computer screen. People can easily take things the wrong way, or imply things they don't mean. Or maybe they do mean to, and what they have said escalates.

I am thankful that this forum, especially for me, has been WONDERFUL in this regard. I have been seeing some snarky comments (not to me), but I guess some of that is to be expected... right?

It just sucks going to other forums (namely larger communities) and having your ass handed to you for no reason.



(I'm sure there are other threads like this one, I just haven't looked...)
Thanks for reading. If you have any comments or concerns (or disagree with me?) feel free to reply!

 

[Tavia]

Agree, this site can get pretty heated at times, and I suppose with as diverse a group of people that use it, a bit of that is probably inevitable. But especially compared to at least one other reptile forum I frequent, this one is quite pleasant.

 

[Nanci]

I am thankful that this forum, especially for me, has been WONDERFUL in this regard.

That's nice to hear!

 

[starsevol]

So glad you like it here!
I haven't been a nasty-pants for awhile, I don't think but I do have wicked strong opinions and tend to like animals better than most people so that does tend to get the best of me sometimes.
I have been trying to not be such a youknowwhat though!

 

[5 Star Serpents]

In all honesty, I find this forum to have the least amount of "bullies", and I LIKE it! So good job everyone
In a day and age where fb is now where every page has a new "breeder" or basement professional it seems good valuable, friendly conversation is rare, but we're doing it right over here!

 

[neworleansvamp]

I joined this forum for the purpose of connecting with like minded people and to aquire more information to expand my knowledge therefore becoming a better snake mama. I have been lucky enough to have been met with friendly, respectful opinions, responses to posts and questions. I too joined another forum and basically was made to feel less than. Needless to say, I no longer logged in due to the fact that I wasnt interested in coming under fire even though I expressed being new to the hobby and was there as well looking for assistance. Thank you again for having this great forum. I would also like to express my gratitude again for being and informative. Anyone I encounter that is new to the hobby I wholeheartedly reccomend this forum. I feel sorry for people who feel the need to squash down others and make them feel inferior...they are insecure themselves so to take the heat off themselves they burn others. Sad, very sad. Iam sorry you went through that, if they wont apologize I feel someone should to you for that terrible, immature behavior. We need to help one another not tear each other apart. Excuse the rant, but it is unacceptable.

 

[ghosthousecorns]

I personally hate to see people get attacked over stuff like hybrids or feeding live, especially new members who might have the wind taken out of their sails and go elsewhere. I try to think of everyone new who joins as a potential friend or customer.
But there are times when a new person joins and simply comes across as a punk or troll and in those cases it's understandable that long time members get frustrated and chew them out a little. I've done it too but I try to remember that corn snakes are easy and thrive under a variety of keeping/ feeding methods so I am not so much annoyed by people's snake keeping methods unless they are blatantly starving or mistreating their animals. What gets me riled is people with racist or sexist opinions and people who want to go on about politics on a snake forum.

 

[MotleyMedusa7]

I agree that I would love to see everyone in the numerous reptile forums get along maturely. We all love the same things to an extent..what makes me really sad is people who say they love snakes turn around & talk trash about corn snakes. I've seen it a lot & I feel like defending how awesome corns are all the time,but I don't even bother getting into it with them because I can't change their mind. I think corns are awesome,I also love all species of snakes,there are some that I don't feel are a good fit as a pet for me,but I certainly don't talk bad about other people's choice in pets. I just hope for the same respect,ya' know?

 

[NH93]

Thank you everyone for the awesome comments!



I personally dislike when someone states their opinion as a fact, and when another disgrees, they attack them. That is what happened to me (don't worry, it wasn't that bad or anything) and I bet happens to a lot of people.

I definitely don't like bashers either; that's not what forums are for (I assume!)

 

[MegF.]

When you're in a forum type setting you will be surrounded by people with similar and dissimilar opinions.....If I don't agree with someone, I try to make my statement in a polite way...sometimes that's hard to do. Sometimes just saying it straight up is the only way and sometimes the written word is misinterpreted. This is especially true when you are dealing with an international setting like this site is. People from other countries may not understand a sentence or colloquialism or there's a language barrier that confuses some. Seems to usually be pretty peaceful here for the most part.

 

[Zombiegirl]

I tend to steer clear of threads that are pretty heated, although I will lurk and read them. Aside from iHerp, this is the only snake forum I am a member on, and I'm just fine with that. People here are awesome and so helpful!

 

[smigon]

This forum went beyond my expectations when I joined. I thought I had done my homework, but this forum helped me with all that I hadn't learned in the 5 books I had already read.

I know I get frustrated when someone with a newly acquired corn comes on and asks all the questions they should have found out BEFORE getting the snake, like "what should I feed it?" and don't know about temps for the viv and other basic needs. These are the basics that should have been in place before the acquisition, but some still put the cart before the horse (or the corn before the viv).

I know I am not the only one these questions frustrate, but most everyone here responds politely and positively and I always point them toward the books that helped me. It doesn't do any good to put someone down or insult them for their lack of knowledge, just try to help them the best you can!

 

[tsst]

I have been guilty of the use of sarcasm. I do however try to debate the topic at hand and not go all argumentum ad hominem on someone. I am sure there have been times I skated closely to the line. In general though, IMHO, personal attacks weaken my point more than those I am debating so I try hard to attack the subject and not the person.

... and people who want to go on about politics on a snake forum.

Hey I resemble that remark.

 

[Justine66]

yeah, agree wholeheartedly that this is the best forum community I have had the pleasure of finding!
I actually wake up a bit excited to see what's been going on here!

everyone's always been friendly to me, and I feel that I have given that back..
this forums more like a community then the other forums I have joined, and I too recommend this site to anyone I know that's getting into reptiles, you can ask anything's little or big, silly or complex and no matter what someone will try their best to give their opinion and HELP!

I have seen some small arguments on here but I can say that they are few and far between..


From joining in 2012.. now going on my 2nd year on here, I still feel just as excited to log on and see peoples new scale babies, and maybe get to help someone out with the knowledge I have gained on here is what makes this place my favourite site!

.. and I'm sure others feel the same,

 

[Lavender]

Hi everyone...

I'm sorry to rant (well, not really), but I am getting so tired of people bullying each other on forums. I don't mean here necessarily - although I have seen it before.

I recently got quite attacked by an opinion I posted on another snake forum, because I disagreed with something someone said about live feeding. It's not a big deal, and I *think* I dealt with it maturely.

I have just been noticing a lot lately that people aren't respecting other's opinions, or they are TELLING someone how they should be doing things, without that other person even asking for their input.
I'm not saying that if you hear about someone doing something you think is very detrimental to their snake that you shouldn't speak up, but I think it can be done without attacking another person... or being sort of sarcastic, you know?

I don't think it's necessary to make people feel stupid because they don't know something. And it is tough online too, because emotions aren't felt through a computer screen. People can easily take things the wrong way, or imply things they don't mean. Or maybe they do mean to, and what they have said escalates.

I am thankful that this forum, especially for me, has been WONDERFUL in this regard. I have been seeing some snarky comments (not to me), but I guess some of that is to be expected... right?

It just sucks going to other forums (namely larger communities) and having your ass handed to you for no reason.



(I'm sure there are other threads like this one, I just haven't looked...)
Thanks for reading. If you have any comments or concerns (or disagree with me?) feel free to reply!

Yeah got to watch that live feeding. If you like it too much you might get accused of being some kind of sadistic freak. You know, like watching PEDATORS actually prey on their food. Especailly when you've got hundreds of caged up in your dwelling or "snake room" So carry on with that frozen food, when it comes to predators whose natural notion is to attack, sufficate, and eat whole. We got to try to civilize those savage beasts.

 

[Lavender]

Thank you everyone for the awesome comments!



I personally dislike when someone states their opinion as a fact, and when another disgrees, they attack them. That is what happened to me (don't worry, it wasn't that bad or anything) and I bet happens to a lot of people.

I definitely don't like bashers either; that's not what forums are for (I assume!)

What if some one gives facts instead of opinions? What if someone's opinion is fact?

 

[Kokopelli]

OP you needn't go far to search for Lavender's various responses and comments to see that what his sermons are relevant to everyone save from himself- he is exempt.

Some people can be forceful with their opinionw... animals is a sensitive topic and allot of people feel very strongly about how certain things should be done.

Add to that the fact that some young keepers are positive that they know everything there is to know and they want an answer just for a specific question even though that it is obvious that the snake is being misstreated...

Well, it happens.

Usually, the majority of the forum put a halt to that... and if you are disturbed in private you can report said individual.

Forums are consisted of people, and you have good and less good people everywhere.

 

[starsevol]

To the op, lavender admitted (either before his long term ban, or the long term ban he had previous to this one) that he caught a wild bird and fed it alive to his snake in front of his child to teach the child about "man's dominion over the animals".
Not only was this senselessly cruel to the bird, which was probably highly parasitized thus endangering the snake, but what kind of a parent teaches something like that?

 

[Justine66]

^^^^^
...I'm sorry but that's just disterbing...
and i agree, not something you should teach to children..

..wow..

 

[NH93]

Hey guys! Ya, I guess sometimes people REALLY don't agree... and it gets nasty...

What if some one gives facts instead of opinions? What if someone's opinion is fact?

It was clearly a subjective opinion, NOT fact. I am thinking about my own experience when I say this, and I don't want to open up an unnecessary can of worms on here, either let's leave it at, basically one person said something along the lines of all people who own snakes (not even a specific type) must be willing to feed live.
Clearly very much an opinion; some will, some will not, some will sit on the fence. Either way, it was figured out through PM (because it really turned into a sides-taking thing on someone else's forum, which isn't fair to the OP) and now the poster and I are "friends" on said forum!

But that's what I was talking about. Stuff gets started on threads, and people misunderstand OR it is said in the wrong light, yada yada yada.



And I agree that sometimes some people who are mistreating their animals need to be told how to take care of them. But I'm talking more on the lines of opinions in forums, and people getting picked on for having them. I think there is a difference between disagreeing with someone, and outright being a bully.
You don't have to agree with me, though