Been a long while since I made an update.
Short answer is, my wife and best friend of 45 years is dying. Despite the mainstream chemo treatments, despite the alternative drugs we were trying, despite her trip to Tijuana Mexico to an alternative treatment facility called Oasis Of Hope, and despite the hardest and longest praying I have ever done in my life.
She is now under Hospice care. This past Friday the hospice nurse said that based on similar cases she has seen, Connie would likely pass away within 2 weeks. Of course I didn't tell Connie that!
Now she is bed ridden in a hospital bed we have in the family room in our home. Both of her sisters are here to help out. Thank goodness, because I couldn't do this sort of care alone. She is obviously fading fast, and her speech is becoming almost unintelligible. None of us have had any unbroken sleep for a while now, because it takes all three of us to get Connie out of bed and to the port-a-potty and back again. Her legs have gotten very weak and she has difficulty maintaining her balance. She would definitely fall and hurt herself without our assistance.
I am a crushed and shattered man. She was my entire world. I went to my PCP doctor last week and got prescribed some medication to help get me through this (hopefully). I already had valium that was prescribed by an earlier doctor, which helped take the edge off of things a LOT of times, but this is getting REALLY heavy now. The stuff I am taking is supposed to take a couple of weeks to really kick in, so I am hoping it kicks in before I just lose my mind.
I don't have a single solitary clue about what I will do when (if? Still hope for a miracle.) she dies. A very VERY big part of me will die too.