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Leopard Geckos And Hiding Pets From Parents

I had a friend who wanted a horse more than anything. She was relentless. When they asked what she wanted for her birthdays, Christmas, it was always a horse, nothing else. She bought all the stuff to go with the horse. Finally, they gave in. Maybe you can wear your parents down. Maybe you can reason with them- "I'm a good person, I don't stay out all night, I don't do drugs, I get good grades in school, I'm responsible with my other pets." Maybe you can make a trade off- not get the tatoo, or wear slightly more girlie clothes once in a while. Maybe bargain by offering to do chores you mom hates. Maybe offer to cook dinner a couple nights a week in exchange for a gecko.

I don't think you should move out, even if you could squeek by. I think your education is the most important key to future happiness, financial security, and being able to someday afford any pet you want. Think of the bigger picture.

Good luck,

Nanci
 
Your best way forward is to get them to help you set up new vivs.
Getting people to take an interest in your hobby makes it more interesting for them?
Me an Joe are always sneaking things into the house away from my wife. some only stay a short time so she never knows. And ones that get named suddenly appear ( the pine the ball pythons the carpet python) to the sound of my wife saying " where the hell did that come from"
We find it easier to show her the animal after it arrives rather than argue over whether its coming to live with us.
This isn't my parents house though, its mine, so slightly different from your situation.
Maybe if you put your point forward, About moving out to get the Leo, they might relent . I'd rather have my kids at home than out there.
 
Yes well lets get some backround on my post first. I'm 21, I was 20 when this incident happened. Living at home with my two parents who hold absolutly everything over my head, and whenever I offer to pay rent they refuse it, but then say I'm using all their money and I'm an ingrate.
My room, anything in there has nothing what so every to do with my parents life, but does that matter? YES because they are letting me live there. I hate that they have that kind of control over me but they do, because that's just the way it works out, I realize that living somewhere with free board free food and acceptance of most of what I do with my life.

I snuck in some bettas. FISH! Just damned fish! They were in my room, taking care of them didn't affect my taking care of the other animals, doing my chores, my school work or anything. But my parents acted like I snuck in a person to live with me.
They trusted me and I broke that trust. They took an intrest in the animals, and they never forced me to get rid of them. But I hurt their feelings.
Wasn't a very mature thing of me to do.

Edit: Also, if you were persistant and they eventually caved with the snake even though you didn't think they would I see no reason not to just be persistant with this. :shrugs:
 
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Take them to shows. Let your parents see leopard geckos and talk to breeders. Heck, the first time my mom held an adult corn, Slink, she sat there holding it straight out in front of her saying "He's looking at me Katie...Katie take him, he's looking at me". The other day she was in the bathroom and found a snake that had gotten out (that she didn't know about) and just yelled for my sister to come get it. My grandmother hates them as well but has learned to tolerate them. Heck - find a reptile your parents like. For the most part they're easier to take care of than *most* mammals and the food isn't as expensive. My mom likes the "pretty" snakes (think snows and ones that don't look like a snake) and has her favorites. Whatever you do you don't want to sneak something in. Research geckos, show them a budget for caring for them and educate them about geckos but always ask. As someone who still mooches off of her parents for dinner sometimes you want to keep a good relationship with your parents. It's all about balancing everyone's needs out.

~Katie
 
.....I feel kind of foolish...When I was younger I was rebellious constantly on what my mother wanted..Anything I wanted that she didn't like I never really took her thoughts into view..Today now that I am an adult I see things completely differently now..but as you can see from my last post on this topic..I still have that rebelious nature inside me...I know when I was younger I snuck in all sorts of things..a hurt pigeon with a broken wing, a baby squirrel that had fallen out of the nest, a baby bird, even a kitten at one point..every time though my mother found out and I had to let them go or turn them in to a vet that could care for them (my mom understood I couldn't just leave them in the wild to die)..But when I asked for something and explained and compromised..I was able to get a hamster, parakeet, gold fish and a puppy...not all at the same time of course..but just saying..the compromising thing worked out way better then sneaking something in..
 
Before you chalk this up to rantings of an old woman, please read what I have to say.
Your dress, your piercings, tattos whatever as a parent I would not have a problem with, I feel it is a form of self-expression. I may ask what your future plans are because it may be hard to take you seriously as say a vet if you are covered with tats and piercing. Again it wouldn't bother me but I would say at my age am in a vast minority.
You say you have only had a job for two days, for the reasons you state I totally inderstand. I can't even go to WalMart without having a panic attack. You may have luck with a job on campus, start looking now at the bulletin boards.
Now a little shift if you have only worked two days, how do you pay for snake bedding, feeders and the same for spider and lizard. It may be your parents feel they already pay enough. I suspect that is the case since your Mom is pushing you to get a job.
As for them complaining about the way you dress, they probably think if they pay for your clothes they have a say in what you wear. I think this is a sucky attitude for parents. I hated wearing school uniforms, so what did I get one year for Christmas skirts that looked just like my uniform skirts but different colors UGH.
I don't know what you do to help around the house and I admire your not going behind your parents back to party, but a lie is a lie(lizard). I suggest you keep talking to them about everything that hurts you (your feelings), tell them you are making efforts to work. Help around the house (more than you do now). Reason with them on an adult level, dont't keep telling them "I am an adult" act like one. susan
 
I don't think you should have any say at all when it comes to animals in your parents home. My mom would laugh her butt off if she heard me say that though and call me a big ol' hypocrite. So believe me, I understand your frustration, even as I say that. That's the frustration that comes with becoming an adult and living as a child (I don't mean that as any kind of insult, it's just the harsh way of looking at what your situation really is- not a judgement on your behavior..)
You basically have two options as others have said.

1. You can practice a skill which you will need as an adult which is diplomacy. You had mentioned earlier that you would show them the logical error of their ways- I can almost guarantee you that will not work- because you will get their feathers ruffled before you even begin with reasons. Instead you might try talking to them about what it would take to get a compromise. It would probably take a little rent, it might take paying the electric bill, or maybe even a compromise as far as what animal you're talking about.
With some parents it may even be simpler. If you approach it as if you have a full understanding that they rule the house and you will accept their decision, your attitude alone might win them over.

2. You move out! I think you would be surprised how cheap it actually is to share a place with friends. And not to mention fun. IMO it would be the best thing for you with what I've read of your situation, as I think you and your parents would benefit from the change..

I was the worst teenager in the world. Tattoos, ditching school till I dropped out, fighting my parents, staying out for 3 days at a stretch, etc, you name it. I moved out at 17. But it was really a matter of how "grown up" I thought I was, and that def. got put to the test..

Good luck to the three of you no matter what you decide!
 
Tom you ol' hypocrite, not really. You moved out at 17 and realized the difficulty in doing that. Casey at 19 has only worked two days, moving out would be a huge step. I can think of lots of things like no food(money got spent on cool lizard, beer), no electric, eviction... I moved out at 17 also and payed dearly for it. While I think her parents could be more understanding, I also think they could be less.
I also don't think thier (parents) logic is flawed they're parents, they are not expected to be logical any more than CaseyUndead is, she's a 19 year old living at home, under thier roof, eaing thier food and thinks she is an adult. While she may be mature, adult is a whole different thing.
 
susang said:
Tom you ol' hypocrite, not really. QUOTE]

Mom? Is that you? LOL!

But seriously, I didn't mean to say that her parents' logic is flawed. I don't believe that either (except on the tattoo thing- but that may be my inner rebel creeping up after all these years). I thought that's what she believed and I was just pointing out that saying that to them won't further her cause.
"You're being irrational" true or not, is an accusation to the ears, and tends to make people defensive.
I think moving out was a good choice for me, and I really enjoyed that freedom even though it was hard.

As far as school goes, if you're in school, I would say do your best to humble yourself and accept the help..
But when I was her age- you couldn't have gotten me in school- home or otherwise.
I was always a "prove it" kid. The world taught me about the benefits of school as well, and nothing else could've.

My advise boiled down to 2 sentences: Don't be like I was if you can help it. If you are like I was and you can't help it, get to it.

:grin01:
Click to expand...
 
And no one has brought up what happens when all your cool roommates bail on you- yup, that happened to my daughter. There you are stuck with no roommates and no one to split expenses. So guess where you go back to. Hope you didn't pick a lot of extra animals when you were out on your own!

Nanci
 
LOL! Oh the stress of finding new roommates every single year! And the pain of having lame ones! I had forgotten about that! LOL!
 
I had only one rat when I was out on my own. Lucky that way I guess. Or maybe that's all finances would allow.
Roommates bailing like the place was on fire. I don't think I ever got a deposit back in those days.
People crashing every night. Beer-gone. Food-gone. Mysterious phone calls on my bill. Etc. And I'm sure I've been that guy too, depending who was on the lease- or the bill as the case may be.
Shoot, I've lived in the $89 a week roach motels with only a sink (read: no kitchen and you share the bathroom in the hall with the junkie neighbors) and at my worst times living in abandoned buildings (36,000 square feet!) not out of necesity, just cause I thought it was AWESOME!! LOL.

YIKES! This is NOT advice.
 
tom e said:
I had only one rat when I was out on my own. Lucky that way I guess. Or maybe that's all finances would allow.
Roommates bailing like the place was on fire. I don't think I ever got a deposit back in those days.
People crashing every night. Beer-gone. Food-gone. Mysterious phone calls on my bill. Etc. And I'm sure I've been that guy too, depending who was on the lease- or the bill as the case may be.
Shoot, I've lived in the $89 a week roach motels with only a sink (read: no kitchen and you share the bathroom in the hall with the junkie neighbors) and at my worst times living in abandoned buildings (36,000 square feet!) not out of necesity, just cause I thought it was AWESOME!! LOL.

YIKES! This is NOT advice.
Click to expand...

Hey son Tom, lol,
Yes it is advice, because so many have gone through it or very close. These are all things to be considered. Someone who has a panic attack being a checker, will not work in fast food, or grocery clerk needs to see all the possiblities.
Nanic, I agree when all fails on the outside, one goes back to Mom or Dad. Heck my 40 year old son is getting married tomorrow for the first time, at 1PM tomorrow we can spell relief. This is the first time we have been without kids in well 40 years. Our spare bedroom is becoming a snake room/office and it will stay that way.
Life is hard and it doesn't get better with age, these are not the golden years more like lead.
I hated being ridiculed by my parents for my choices, but I would give anything to talk to them now. I look at my children and grandchildren and wish they could come to a compromise, work things out, heck I think my grand-daughters dress like trash, but it is the way they look and I love them for it.
We are only children for a short time, when we get older we tend to judge kids by our standards (well not me- go tats, piercings, safe sex) which is sad we hated these standards when we were kids. Now Tom go clean your room and ease up on the beer tomorrow :grin01: susan
 
Thanks for all the advice guys. When i made this board i was still kind of angry over a little argument we had.. but i'm thinking more clearly. I actually think i might be convincing her to let me have one.
 
susang said:
Before you chalk this up to rantings of an old woman, please read what I have to say.
Your dress, your piercings, tattos whatever as a parent I would not have a problem with, I feel it is a form of self-expression. I may ask what your future plans are because it may be hard to take you seriously as say a vet if you are covered with tats and piercing. Again it wouldn't bother me but I would say at my age am in a vast minority.
You say you have only had a job for two days, for the reasons you state I totally inderstand. I can't even go to WalMart without having a panic attack. You may have luck with a job on campus, start looking now at the bulletin boards.
Now a little shift if you have only worked two days, how do you pay for snake bedding, feeders and the same for spider and lizard. It may be your parents feel they already pay enough. I suspect that is the case since your Mom is pushing you to get a job.
Click to expand...

Well, i'm not completely sure what i plan to be.. But i've been leaning toward teacher. But i would take out my facial piercings, and wear things that cover whatever tattoos i'd get, while i was at work.
Well, i don't have an actual job, but i still get money for little things here and there that i can pay for my pets' stuff with. For example, all this week i'm taking care of my neighbors' dog and fish while they're away and getting paid for that. Plus there's always b-day and x-mas money from relatives i get every year that adds to that a little bit.
 
I moved out when I was 18. Things was bad at home... got hard away from home.
I decided I wanted a Red Mohawk... bic'ed sides too... ALL THE WAY BABY!!!

I did not even think of my parents as they were not in my picture at all!

No $$ coming from home, not living at home... did what I wanted to do!

When My parents saw me it crushed them.

They thought I was trying to rebel... against WHAT??? against WHO??? not them!!!

I was not even thinking about them.

But it hurt them because they did truly care for me... they were not from that school... they thought I was going bonkers!!!

Today... we have a great relationship.

I changed my hair... something that comes and goes.

I did not get a tattoo... even though my roommate was a tattoo artist... I resisted because the person I wanted to marry (and did marry) did not want me to get one.

I am very glad that things turned out the way they did.

15 years later... we are married.

I am tatt free... still like the looks of them... but they look good on other people...

I am me regardless of what I look like or what others want me to look like (see military).

My expression comes out in the life I live and the person I am... not what my body looks like.

Look at it this way... when you get the $$$$ for the tattoos, you will be older, have your peices totally laid out, drawn out, and decided on... no getting the tatt that was cool when you were 19 but now that you are 27... looks a bit juvenile... you will change... and that is good... no one knows how you will change but you will... that way your tatts will be the current you!!!

Tatts are cool... but patience is VERY key...

You may see that your parents are uncompromising... but hey, they did let you get a snake!!!

MUCH more than my roommate let me get... she freaked out at the baby rosy boa I brought home!!!
 
well you should get a real job and still do that then have lots of extra money jobs are awesome my job now i get 8.50 an hour and i work with someone who has her own apartment a car and a kid and she still gets by so im sure if you got a job you could come up with enough to live on your own too if you really wanted to and dont you hate when parents try and make you feel guilty and make you feel useless when they say things like youll be lost when you move out.
 
tanner123 said:
well you should get a real job and still do that then have lots of extra money jobs are awesome my job now i get 8.50 an hour and i work with someone who has her own apartment a car and a kid and she still gets by so im sure if you got a job you could come up with enough to live on your own too if you really wanted to and dont you hate when parents try and make you feel guilty and make you feel useless when they say things like youll be lost when you move out.
Click to expand...
I don't know where to start: but Casey is looking for a job, she has some limitations which may make a little more difficult. She has great plans for the future college.
The person you work with is she married? Also you live in Canada the economics are different and mothers get benefits beyond a job. Most of the US offers little help for unwed mothers, except WIC (cheese, milk, cereal juice...) but this won't feed one for a month. Welfare in most US isn't great and temporary. I would say in most of the US a woman with a child making $8.50 an hour would have it very rough, even extremely rough.
Not trying to make you feel guilty and useless but you're comment about get a real job was a bit harsh :sidestep: JMHO
 
Emanon said:
bic'ed sides too
Click to expand...
I did that once. Bic'ed the whole dang thing. YOUCH! RAZORBURN! Apparently I wasn't too good at it. Plus, I kept getting startled when looking in the rear-view mirror thinking that there was a skinhead in my car before realizing it was my OWN head! :bang: LOL! I stuck to the electric clippers after that . . . (Except the for year I was beaker for Halloween, and then I had someone else bic it and used lots of shaving cream and lotion.)
 
CaseyUndead said:
But, yes, i have been trying to get a job. It's just not going well. Most people want to hire people who have work experience. And since i'm limiting myself to not doing any kind of fast food or grocery store type things.
Click to expand...

Beggars cannot be choosers... if you limit yourself to specific types of jobs then you limit yourself to the kinds of pets you can have. Without a job, how will you pay for food? Heating/lighting?? Emergency vet bills???

Sounds to me like you need to grow up a bit and become more responsible- show your parents that you are an adult and they might start to treat you like one. But if you are a 19 year old, ~1-2 years out of high school, still living at home with no job (I am assuming you go to college...?) then they probably still see you as an irresponsible HS kid!!
 
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