Nanci
Alien Lover
Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one actor I will really, really miss. One of my favorites. What a shame. He had decades more of outstanding roles left in him. RIP.
I read this on Reddit. It's an anonymous forum- can't credit the author. (User name nickrantuccio) I'm going to change the F-word to just F.
One doesn't just start doing heroin. Heroin is at the end of a long process of addiction, dependence and tolerance.
It often starts with pills, like Norco, either in a party setting (Norcos mixed with wine will make you drunker and higher) or because you got injured and were prescribed painkillers. Narcotics are highly addictive, so eventually tolerance builds an you start eating Vicodins. Why? Because the feeling of being high on a bunch of Vicodins is like swimming and floating on a cloud made of love and warm hugs from people you love. But soon you move to percocets because 6 or 10 vicodins aren't enough.
Eventually, you start hurting because of all the Tylenol they put in the Percocets. So then you hear from a friend about cold water extraction, You start purifying your Percs so you can get high and not feel like crap the next day. Then you start re-capsuling your powdered Percs because they taste like bitter ass. But you realize, wait a minute, if it's in powder form - you can snort it! Soon you realize crushing, filtering and snorting Percs is both really expensive and difficult. So your dealers says, hey, wait if you want, I can just sell you powdered heroin and it will get you that super warm and wonderful feeling you love without all that work, plus it is cheaper! So you start snorting heroin.
This works for a while, maybe even a long while. But the fact is, now you're a junkie. You look forward to the high more than anything else in your life. You ignore your kids, your job, your wife, all your hobbies have been long forgotten. The cycle of addiction however is far from over, and in all honesty snorting heroin is disgusting. Snorting things causes the residue to drip down the back of your throat. Unlike Cocaine, which gives a numb kind of cooling drip that is actually very pleasant, heroin gives you a slimy, earthy, woody, nasty altogether filthy type of post nasal drip. It's quite foul actually. But when you pair it with the fact that your mind begins to envision that you're wasting the drug by letting it slowly and snottily drip down the back of your throat it becomes something you dread.
If only there was a way to simply put it directly into your bloodstream. If only you didn't have to taste it, or snort it, or deal with it. Just warm it up a little and put it in an insulin needle and push it straight in. So you do it. Maybe you get some help from a friend, then get some needles from the pharmacy, you know that you aren't gonna share them, they are yours. F everyone else. Why didn't you do this earlier? Jesus, this is the easiest, cleanest way for you get your fix, and you can get even more f-ed up and buy less junk! Maybe even save some money! F, this is genius! So you start shooting up. Your tolerance builds, and honestly, man, the warm hugs of love are back. This is that feeling you miss and haven't had in years, for you do not get hugs from your wife or kids anymore, but you do get your hugs from the nod.
All the warmth you will ever need. The nod delivers.
But then one day, you're cold, and your dealer isn't answering. You complain to one of your junkie friends you met at Burger King that you are itchy and dry, needing a fix and your a*** dealer isn't answering. He was talking about getting some good stuff, and now he's not answering - that a***, you're his best customer! Well, your junkie friend has some, it's good, yeah sure, whatever, you will take some, anything to stop the cold, anything to stop the itch. So you get just enough to last until your dealer calls. You get back to your car, you can't wait - so you bust out the lighter, the spoon, the needle. You dump the entire contents of the bag into the spoon, warm it up just enough with the lighter to liquefy it. This is like, your favorite part, your addict mind kind of associates the warm of the high with the warmth of the needle, so this is like charging up your BFG9000 when you used to play Doom on your moms computer when you were a kid. Charge it up, warm it up, pull it into the needle.
So you push and the warmth is there.
You begin to nod off, oh yes, the warmth. The love. It's strong, this is the good stuff. So warm.
You feel the love, the warmth. Your addict is happy. Like waking up on a Sunday morning and realizing you don't have to get up for hours. Lying in bed, warm, covered with blankets, with the warm sun shining into and all over you.
Oh the sun, it's so warm. The light is so bright.
You love the warmth.
So you walk towards the light.
You walk towards love.
The light is love.
You can't imagine anything else.
All there is left is light.
Your last thought is of yourself and finally being warm.
You do not consider that the last hit you pushed was actually Fentanyl and not Heroin, you do not think about your wife who loved you. Your mind isn't on your kids, their graduations, or the future.
You never considered that you would OD and die.
But you did.
If you or anyone you know or love is struggling with an addiction, please contact the SAMHSA's National Helpline:
1-800-662-HELP (4357) Website: www.samhsa.gov/treatment/natHelpFAQs.aspx[1]
Known as, the Treatment Referral Routing Service, this Helpline provides 24-hour free and confidential treatment referral and information about mental and/or substance use disorders, prevention, and recovery in English and Spanish.
Local phone numbers including local chapters of Narcotics Anonymous are available at http://www.na.org/?ID=phoneline[2]
I read this on Reddit. It's an anonymous forum- can't credit the author. (User name nickrantuccio) I'm going to change the F-word to just F.
One doesn't just start doing heroin. Heroin is at the end of a long process of addiction, dependence and tolerance.
It often starts with pills, like Norco, either in a party setting (Norcos mixed with wine will make you drunker and higher) or because you got injured and were prescribed painkillers. Narcotics are highly addictive, so eventually tolerance builds an you start eating Vicodins. Why? Because the feeling of being high on a bunch of Vicodins is like swimming and floating on a cloud made of love and warm hugs from people you love. But soon you move to percocets because 6 or 10 vicodins aren't enough.
Eventually, you start hurting because of all the Tylenol they put in the Percocets. So then you hear from a friend about cold water extraction, You start purifying your Percs so you can get high and not feel like crap the next day. Then you start re-capsuling your powdered Percs because they taste like bitter ass. But you realize, wait a minute, if it's in powder form - you can snort it! Soon you realize crushing, filtering and snorting Percs is both really expensive and difficult. So your dealers says, hey, wait if you want, I can just sell you powdered heroin and it will get you that super warm and wonderful feeling you love without all that work, plus it is cheaper! So you start snorting heroin.
This works for a while, maybe even a long while. But the fact is, now you're a junkie. You look forward to the high more than anything else in your life. You ignore your kids, your job, your wife, all your hobbies have been long forgotten. The cycle of addiction however is far from over, and in all honesty snorting heroin is disgusting. Snorting things causes the residue to drip down the back of your throat. Unlike Cocaine, which gives a numb kind of cooling drip that is actually very pleasant, heroin gives you a slimy, earthy, woody, nasty altogether filthy type of post nasal drip. It's quite foul actually. But when you pair it with the fact that your mind begins to envision that you're wasting the drug by letting it slowly and snottily drip down the back of your throat it becomes something you dread.
If only there was a way to simply put it directly into your bloodstream. If only you didn't have to taste it, or snort it, or deal with it. Just warm it up a little and put it in an insulin needle and push it straight in. So you do it. Maybe you get some help from a friend, then get some needles from the pharmacy, you know that you aren't gonna share them, they are yours. F everyone else. Why didn't you do this earlier? Jesus, this is the easiest, cleanest way for you get your fix, and you can get even more f-ed up and buy less junk! Maybe even save some money! F, this is genius! So you start shooting up. Your tolerance builds, and honestly, man, the warm hugs of love are back. This is that feeling you miss and haven't had in years, for you do not get hugs from your wife or kids anymore, but you do get your hugs from the nod.
All the warmth you will ever need. The nod delivers.
But then one day, you're cold, and your dealer isn't answering. You complain to one of your junkie friends you met at Burger King that you are itchy and dry, needing a fix and your a*** dealer isn't answering. He was talking about getting some good stuff, and now he's not answering - that a***, you're his best customer! Well, your junkie friend has some, it's good, yeah sure, whatever, you will take some, anything to stop the cold, anything to stop the itch. So you get just enough to last until your dealer calls. You get back to your car, you can't wait - so you bust out the lighter, the spoon, the needle. You dump the entire contents of the bag into the spoon, warm it up just enough with the lighter to liquefy it. This is like, your favorite part, your addict mind kind of associates the warm of the high with the warmth of the needle, so this is like charging up your BFG9000 when you used to play Doom on your moms computer when you were a kid. Charge it up, warm it up, pull it into the needle.
So you push and the warmth is there.
You begin to nod off, oh yes, the warmth. The love. It's strong, this is the good stuff. So warm.
You feel the love, the warmth. Your addict is happy. Like waking up on a Sunday morning and realizing you don't have to get up for hours. Lying in bed, warm, covered with blankets, with the warm sun shining into and all over you.
Oh the sun, it's so warm. The light is so bright.
You love the warmth.
So you walk towards the light.
You walk towards love.
The light is love.
You can't imagine anything else.
All there is left is light.
Your last thought is of yourself and finally being warm.
You do not consider that the last hit you pushed was actually Fentanyl and not Heroin, you do not think about your wife who loved you. Your mind isn't on your kids, their graduations, or the future.
You never considered that you would OD and die.
But you did.
If you or anyone you know or love is struggling with an addiction, please contact the SAMHSA's National Helpline:
1-800-662-HELP (4357) Website: www.samhsa.gov/treatment/natHelpFAQs.aspx[1]
Known as, the Treatment Referral Routing Service, this Helpline provides 24-hour free and confidential treatment referral and information about mental and/or substance use disorders, prevention, and recovery in English and Spanish.
Local phone numbers including local chapters of Narcotics Anonymous are available at http://www.na.org/?ID=phoneline[2]
