Susan
Go Ahead, Make My Day!
...It tends to help keep their parents from killing and eating them, especially when it comes to humans. Most other creatures can identify between healthy and defective offspring and won't hesitate in making sure that the defective one doesn't survive. Add the higher brain functions of humans into the mix and things get a little more complicated. The children are still cute, but the parents also have the knowledge that they are only children and that with a little time, their intelligence will make itself know. We will often "overlook", at least temporarily, certain behaviors that "lower" life forms simply would not tolerate. These "lower" creatures would just take one quick and powerful bite and then not only enjoy the pleasurable lack of the annoyance, but a nice snack as well.
Hubby had the misguided idea to build a tree house for our two offspring. He started it last year, having the base and the first floor put in (ladder included) as well as the double swing addition. No sides had been put up and the children seemed to be perfectly capable of staying away from the edges and the 5 foot drop associated with them. Last week, hubby started to add the sides (2 are up at this point) and even hoped to be able to start on the second floor soon. Excited to have it more like an actual building, in association with the cooler weather, the children have been playing more out there and actually asked to put some "furniture" in it. Hubby allowed them to use 2 of the smaller folding lawn chairs and I brought home from work a very large styrofoam cooler and the box it was shipped in (I had been saving that for over 6 months as I simply couldn't throw it out).
Just this afternoon, hubby reminded them to keep the chairs away from the edge. That was enough. At about 5 PM, both of my children came in from outside and sat down on the sofa while I continued to fold laundry. I looked at my daughter after a few minutes and she seemed a little frazzled, so I asked her if she felt good. My son immediately chimed in for her to keep her mouth shut. Every parent knows what that means... I came out with the inevitable parental accusatory response of "What happened this time?" Charlie replied with "Jennifer fell out of the tree house but didn't want me to tell you." "No, you were going to say that I fell out on purpose!" "Jennifer, are you okay?" "My back and my head hurts." "You fell out of the tree house, you hurt, and yet you came back in, sat down and didn't say anything to me?" "I didn't want Charlie to say I did it on purpose." "Why on Earth would I think you did it on purpose?" (At this point, I have her in the kitchen and am shining a light in her eyes to check her pupil response.) "What happened that made you fall off the edge? And in the future, when your brother wants to come and tell me you're hurt, don't stop him!" (Yes, at this point, I'm not only concerned, but getting a bit angry, figuring they were rough-housing again.) "After I fell, Charlie started throwing sticks at me." "CHARLIE!!!" (Pitter patter of little boy feet as I have moved into Jennifer's bedroom.) "Did you throw sticks at your sister after she fell?" "But she was poking me with a stick!" (Sharp glance at Jennifer...I know she's been playing with a long stick lately and has been just as nasty to Charlie as he has been to her.) "My back and head hurts!" "What were you doing to fall off the tree house?" (My tone of voice at this point indicates that my desire to kill them both is rapidly rising.) "I went to sit down in the chair and just sort of fell back." "You had the chair right up to the edge...after your father just told you both to be careful of that?" "The last time I looked, the chair was this far - makes hand gesture indicating about a foot and a half - from the edge." "Didn't you check before you sat down?" "No, but it wasn't close to the edge." "Then why did you fall off?" (Here it comes...) "I don't know." At this point, and knowing my daughter has no major injuries...yet, I am imagining my hands around their little necks, wondering when the supposed intelligence will start to show (this isn't the first time they have done EXACTLY what you just warned them not to do), and Thank God they haven't lost their cuteness as I really don't want to go to prison for killing my children (murder of my bosses wife is an entirely different story...I can claim extenuating circumstances and have witnesses - all the other employees -to back me up). Now if the price of beef gets any higher, their tender flesh will start to look really good, especially with some carrots and a nice baked potato. "Mmmm! Tastes like corn-fed veal!"
Hubby had the misguided idea to build a tree house for our two offspring. He started it last year, having the base and the first floor put in (ladder included) as well as the double swing addition. No sides had been put up and the children seemed to be perfectly capable of staying away from the edges and the 5 foot drop associated with them. Last week, hubby started to add the sides (2 are up at this point) and even hoped to be able to start on the second floor soon. Excited to have it more like an actual building, in association with the cooler weather, the children have been playing more out there and actually asked to put some "furniture" in it. Hubby allowed them to use 2 of the smaller folding lawn chairs and I brought home from work a very large styrofoam cooler and the box it was shipped in (I had been saving that for over 6 months as I simply couldn't throw it out).
Just this afternoon, hubby reminded them to keep the chairs away from the edge. That was enough. At about 5 PM, both of my children came in from outside and sat down on the sofa while I continued to fold laundry. I looked at my daughter after a few minutes and she seemed a little frazzled, so I asked her if she felt good. My son immediately chimed in for her to keep her mouth shut. Every parent knows what that means... I came out with the inevitable parental accusatory response of "What happened this time?" Charlie replied with "Jennifer fell out of the tree house but didn't want me to tell you." "No, you were going to say that I fell out on purpose!" "Jennifer, are you okay?" "My back and my head hurts." "You fell out of the tree house, you hurt, and yet you came back in, sat down and didn't say anything to me?" "I didn't want Charlie to say I did it on purpose." "Why on Earth would I think you did it on purpose?" (At this point, I have her in the kitchen and am shining a light in her eyes to check her pupil response.) "What happened that made you fall off the edge? And in the future, when your brother wants to come and tell me you're hurt, don't stop him!" (Yes, at this point, I'm not only concerned, but getting a bit angry, figuring they were rough-housing again.) "After I fell, Charlie started throwing sticks at me." "CHARLIE!!!" (Pitter patter of little boy feet as I have moved into Jennifer's bedroom.) "Did you throw sticks at your sister after she fell?" "But she was poking me with a stick!" (Sharp glance at Jennifer...I know she's been playing with a long stick lately and has been just as nasty to Charlie as he has been to her.) "My back and head hurts!" "What were you doing to fall off the tree house?" (My tone of voice at this point indicates that my desire to kill them both is rapidly rising.) "I went to sit down in the chair and just sort of fell back." "You had the chair right up to the edge...after your father just told you both to be careful of that?" "The last time I looked, the chair was this far - makes hand gesture indicating about a foot and a half - from the edge." "Didn't you check before you sat down?" "No, but it wasn't close to the edge." "Then why did you fall off?" (Here it comes...) "I don't know." At this point, and knowing my daughter has no major injuries...yet, I am imagining my hands around their little necks, wondering when the supposed intelligence will start to show (this isn't the first time they have done EXACTLY what you just warned them not to do), and Thank God they haven't lost their cuteness as I really don't want to go to prison for killing my children (murder of my bosses wife is an entirely different story...I can claim extenuating circumstances and have witnesses - all the other employees -to back me up). Now if the price of beef gets any higher, their tender flesh will start to look really good, especially with some carrots and a nice baked potato. "Mmmm! Tastes like corn-fed veal!"
