• Hello!

    Either you have not registered on this site yet, or you are registered but have not logged in. In either case, you will not be able to use the full functionality of this site until you have registered, and then logged in after your registration has been approved.

    Registration is FREE, so please register so you can participate instead of remaining a lurker....

    Please be certain that the location field is correctly filled out when you register. All registrations that appear to be bogus will be rejected. Which means that if your location field does NOT match the actual location of your registration IP address, then your registration will be rejected.

    Sorry about the strictness of this requirement, but it is necessary to block spammers and scammers at the door as much as possible.

x using snakes to win custody

annacobb

annacobb

New member
My son is 4...me and the x have been having problems from day 1 with custody. We disagree on everything, no real shocker there, but we talk and make things work typically, except he wants full custody and I am only willing to settle for 50 50 lol. There is absolutely nothing he will ever be able to do to convince me otherwise. The temporary order is in place...judge ordered 50 50...were working out some minor details then it will be made final and everything is set! YAY!
I received a phone call from his attorney (8 am) this morning. He has apparently taken it upon himself to refuse me the right to have my son in the home due to my "bizarre collection of exotic pets" stating that they are "dangerous" I'm shocked! I talked to the police and they are telling me there's nothing they can do, I have to get a court date and have a judge fix the situation...3-6 weeks. I'm pretty sure the shock is wearing off and now I'm ANGRY!
I have no idea what to do right now other than hope he comes to his senses (he himself purchased our newest member of the "dangerous" collection, a beautiful ball python) and this "bizarre collection" is a corn and a ball....2 snakes! There is another to be added soon and 2 in a month or so but I do not, nor do I think anyone (with sense about them) will, find this to be "bizarre"!!!!
Our snakes have never bitten, the ball has never been handled and I'm sure he will be aggressive for a while, but my son is EXTREMELY supervised...with everything, I am terribly overprotective...I'm ranting sorry. The point, I guess, is what kind of things do I need to talk about in connection to my pets and any tips? I am getting used to having to defend this lovely hobby...but this is extreme. Cyrus loves this world and is very involved. I have seen a beautiful change in him since we started this journey together. He loves checking the temps with me and the water and learning how to properly care for the animals. I love how concerned he is about how "safe" they feel...he tells me a lot to turn my music down because loud noises make ginger hide...I'm a little heart broken...sorry.
 
I am sorry this is happening to you. Usually in Kentucky it is dang near impossible to get a child away from its mother. Sounds to me like he is grasping for straws on this issue. I hope you the best on it. Just stand your ground with him and this issue.
 
If it was me I would temporarily rehome the snakes until the battle is over. I have had very bad experiences with stupid judges and stupid custody decisions, though, so I am apt to do anything I can to take the fight out of the other side.

I'm heartbroken for you. Ugly custody battles are horrible. :(
 
I'll not re home my snakes, not for a minute. Ive considered it, but I can't get past the fact that they are young and have long lives ahead of them. Me and Cyrus have both made commitments to them and I feel like it would set a bad example to abandon ship at the first wave. This is temporary and has all happened this morning. I am meeting with him at 1 to talk, he will either calm down, or prepare for a fight. I called and talked to Cy at his grandmothers house and he was mad, wanted to come home. I'm having every picture I have of Cy and Ginger printed and will be taking them to court. I'm trying to think of anything else I could have on hand or prepare.
 
Ask if you can bring these "dangerous" animals to court with you, and bring with you books that state the max length they will achieve so as to provide physical proof of the ridiculous nature of the claims.
 
what a doof! i live just a bit north, im on my way down to "resolve" the situation! just kidding...on a serious note, i dont think there is any leverage in this case...im not an attorney, but you have the least dangerous snakes a person could keep. i think that if you have 20' retics with no cages, or bengal tigers, there may be a solid case.....a corn and a ball pyhon! gimme a freakin break!!! and ide make the fact known that HE bought the ball python!!! he didnt see the danger in it when it was HIM contributing to the collection! they have to PROVE you UNFIT before you will lose your child. i have been through this and i think i had an easy win for custody, didnt happen! and she started doing hard drugs and had a convicted child molester in the dang house...no food, yada yada yada...and i didnt get custody! i OWN my house(paid off), have a great job, and he WANTED to live with me!!! no way you lose custody of your kid!
 
...oh, and six months later she ended up telling her parents they could have him! i did sign the temporary guardian order and he has been there for three years and is doing great. i see him all the time and he is doing awesome in school and is really getting into the snake breeding with me, he is thirteen. so it all worked out anyways, thank GOD!!
 
Annacobb, I am so sorry this is happening. People can be so unjust at times; it just blows my mind.

On a practical note, do you have a receipt from when the bp was purchased? Was it a VISA receipt with your ex's signature on it? Do you know the name of the breeder you purchased it from? Would the breeder remember the sale and be able to write a note saying that it was your ex who purchased the snake? I agree that if you present well documented research on the maximum length of and prey size for corns and bps that this may help you in court. A lawyer is your best defense, though.
 
Wow. Few things that come to mind.
1. If possible get proof he did purchase the ball python, reciepts credit card, anything. If it was purchased at a store like petsmart I know they have you fill out information on a form and give you a copy then also keep a copy for their records.
2. If your son is old enough he can decide who he wants to live with full time or even part time. And if needed the court can appoint a representative for him. We had to do this when my parents got divorced.
3. You could point out how interested in them your son is. He is getting hands on learning experience. Also you always surprivse him with the snakes.
4. If you really have to get the snakes those tanks with the lids you can put locks on and keep the keys where your son cant get to them. This way you know for sure he cant get to them unsupervised.

I also did a google search and found this page which might help. http://www.exoticpetvet.net/reptile/children.html
 
Do you have a reputable herp vet in the area that can go to bat for you??? The more experts you can get to testify for you, the better.

I feel for you. I went through a divorce years ago and it was messy enough WITHOUT having children involved! ( One of the main reasons I refused to have kids with him is that I saw this coming. ) As it was, he tried to get the dogs taken away from me. Which was ludicrous because I did all the care. He would have fed them Alpo and never taken them to the vet.

Remember that they are people who will help and keep your friends close. Good Luck!

Devon
 
I have a copy of the "contract" he signed at petco I'm glad y'all mentioned that I failed to realize it could be important...I think I'll fax a copy over to his attorney tonight at work. She seems to be able to talk him down when nobody else can, and shes wanting a list of what animals are in the home...I got the impression she's expecting a very long list of vipers and cobras. I am trying to see who to contact to make sure it will be alright to bring my super scary 14 inch corn snake with me to court. I called the judges office and left him a message...this is irritating, I wish I had an attorney! He wants to move to Mississippi and take Cy with him, so now hes doing whatever he can to break me down...I refuse to let him take something else from me and Cyrus...I feel like this is completely ludicrous and unfounded...if it isn't however please tell me!

I just put key locks on my tank and viv and I'm going to start taking pictures tomorrow and I will send them on over to his attorney. I just don't want to go the full 3-6 weeks before the judge can tell Derek he's breaking the law.
 
annacobb said:
...this is irritating, I wish I had an attorney! ...I feel like this is completely ludicrous and unfounded...if it isn't however please tell me!
Click to expand...

You shouldn't wish. You should get one. We're not family law attorneys in KY. We can't tell you if this is legally ludicrous and unfounded or not. These sorts of problems don't get solved by wishing and hoping. They get solved by being sufficiently well-armed to win, which in your case means by having an attorney.
 
annacobb said:
I'll not re home my snakes, not for a minute. Ive considered it, but I can't get past the fact that they are young and have long lives ahead of them. Me and Cyrus have both made commitments to them and I feel like it would set a bad example to abandon ship at the first wave. This is temporary and has all happened this morning. I am meeting with him at 1 to talk, he will either calm down, or prepare for a fight. I called and talked to Cy at his grandmothers house and he was mad, wanted to come home. I'm having every picture I have of Cy and Ginger printed and will be taking them to court. I'm trying to think of anything else I could have on hand or prepare.
Click to expand...

desertanimal said:
You talk to your lawyer immediately about it.
Click to expand...

desertanimal said:
You shouldn't wish. You should get one. We're not family law attorneys in KY. We can't tell you if this is legally ludicrous and unfounded or not. These sorts of problems don't get solved by wishing and hoping. They get solved by being sufficiently well-armed to win, which in your case means by having an attorney.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry this is happening to you, I agree with Steph you need your own attorney. His attorney is his advocate not yours, his attorney will not get you what you want but what he wants.
I will be a bit of a devil's advocate here; you say your son is four I don't think anyone attorney or judge will say a four year old can make a commitment to an animal. A four year old relies on you for care. If I'm reading it correctly and Cy is your son. You also make it sound like the ex is fighting to move to another state with your son, so he is armed for a fight. While the snakes may be the first big issue for you it may not be for your ex. I'm not saying give up snakes immediately, but I think you should be prepared to give them up if the judge sees them as your hobby and a danger to your son. Like I said playing devils advocate here. Personally I would kick ex in the jewels.
 
It is possible that your ex is just using the snakes as a means to an end. Meaning as a way to get your son. If the judge says you can keep him IF you get rid of the snakes, then I would get rid of the snakes. You can always tell your son when he gets older (not sure how old he is but say teen years) he could try again.
You may also want to check into the laws in your state concerning how old a child needs to be in order to make their own decision on who they want to live with, of course the courts will then provide an advocate for your child.
But they are right and you do need to get a lawyer. If you cant afford one call around to womens organizations, they might be able to point you in the right direction, or find a lawyer that is wiling to work out a payment plan.
 
I have to agree, His lawyer should be speaking your your lawyer.

This reminds me of my sister in-law divorce. Her x didn't have a lawyer.
She said her lawyer """lied"" to him though out the process. Her lawyer said, I don't need to be truthful to him.

You need a lawyer.
 
So, new stuff going on. I woke up this morning to a knock at the door. It was Derek, the x, all he said was "let me see them" so no hesitation, took him back into the room, explained to him the python ate last night (YAY!) and is under strict Do Not Disturb orders, so little Ginger was the one he'd have to see. He was very timid, a little scared and nervous. Finally let her slither onto his hands, he very quickly calmed down with her, said she felt like silk. She hasn't been handled for more than about 15 mins so after about 20 I figured she should go on back home so I picked her up and on my way back to the viv she bit me! I didn't miss a beat, but I'm panicking inside...shes never done that before lol! He asked what happened, I told him shes nervous, doesn't know him and I'm really the only person who handles her, I know he's about to start now but he laughed! "Is that all it is, your not even bleeding" So I made him wash his hands and all that jazz...and he told me how he's been trying to convince my son how awful snakes are and gross and dangerous and Cyrus is VERY upset, and just doesn't believe him...I couldn't help but lose my cool a bit at this. Cyrus will be over Monday. The way I figure it is Derek needs some educating, hes being very closed minded and letting his irrational fears take over his better judgment. He asked me about my plans, if there are more in the future. I explained to him in detail my plans and that at this point I want a few more, also had the chance to lecture him a bit about gifting people animals (especially high maintenance exotics). He seems responsive at this point.I don't know what my next step is, I agreed that until he has met any new snake that Cyrus wouldn't handle them, but also made him agree to offer me the same courtesy with what ever breed of dog they are soon to get.
I am looking for an attorney right now, Mine was disbarred for ethical violations, so I am in representation limbo.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top