Long rambling about husband's total obliviousness

I love my snakes. My husband knows I love my snakes.

I will gladly show him photos after photos of them and when I get the snakes themselves out I always show them off..."Look honey, here's so-and-so. Isn't s/he pretty?" and he will obligingly look, smile, and nod his head, trying to not piss me off by looking too bored.

Well, jump to today's conversation...

I have my 4 foot male hypo out exercising him and my husband looks up and asks, "Has she laid her eggs yet?"

"What?" I say. "This is my male."

"Oh. I thought that was Banshee. They have the same look, the same belly," he says.

Okay...so now I think he's smoking crack, as Banshee is not even 3 foot long, much less a hypo. She is a ghost cornsnake, a gray snake with a white and black belly, not an orange snake with a red and black belly, like my hypo.

Banshee's not even the one I bred this year, though she may lay slugs so maybe that's what he meant. But still!

I'm starting to think that I could have pulled out a beautiful striped hypo lavender like Stephen Roylance keeps showing off and pass it off as a bloodred, because, of course, it has a plain belly just like a bloodred does.

I don't mean to say my husband's stupid. In actuality I sometimes think he's a genius. He just doesn't obsess over snakes like I do.

In the long run this may be a good thing. When I hatch out my baby snakes later this year I may be able to keep more than the predetermined quota I am allowed just because he won't know the difference. J/k. He'll see this now for sure (even though he never comes here) and start to pay closer attention to my collection. But, maybe then his eye's won't glaze over as I talk about them.

I laughed SO hard when I read this! My husband is EXACTLY the same way! There are a few of the snake's that he recognizes (not by name, though), but the rest he always acts as if he hasn't seen them before!

When I hatch out my baby snakes later this year I may be able to keep more than the predetermined quota I am allowed just because he won't know the difference.

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I know you were kidding, but FYI...it works! I ended up getting a few new ones without telling my husband. I told him later, of course, but I could have kept it a secret and he would have probably never known!

My husband likes our snakes. Of course at this point with only two, they're easy to tell apart. But, I do get the same response about the horses. Glazed eyes, and nodding. If anything exciting happens, I go to my horsey pals to tell them.....he doesn't get it! So amanda, you'll have to do the same. You just have to post here when something excitingly snakey happens for the proper response.

I must have a keeper!

Okay, so he's not my husband, just my BF of 4 1/2 years, (we're planning on marriage someday) but he loves my snakes and wants some of his own to start breeding. He also likes my horse. Hell; I wouldn't have the horse if it wasn't for him (he drove me to Oregon to go get her.) He just wont ride, but he'll come out to the stables and pet her He's also willing to run a boarding stable with me someday. So, I guess I've got myself a keeper!!!

i'm noticing the lack of male responce to this thread. this is not just a male issue. my ex-girlfriend was the same way. "oh you got another snake?" this is the tyoe of comment i would get only after taking out said snake and putting it under her nose and telling her it was a new one. we had a lot in common, but she had to go. didn't lke snakes at all.

My fiance is picking up on it. She was never really exposed to reptiles until she met me. I was one of those kids that brought toads, frogs, snakes and turtles home to ask mom if I could keep them! But she did work for a vet for a few years before getting into the human medical world. So she is no stranger to the animal kingdom.

We both love all types of animals and although she may not be quite as enthusiastic about the reptiles as I am, she is very tolerent and learning more and more everyday!

She does help me with feedings and cleaning cages. She is starting to recognize some of the different morphs. And she usually knows and keeps track of when the next herp show is, better than I do! lol

She has started handling some of the snakes a bit more. She really enjoys watching them and so on but not very confident still with the handling yet.

However, the "bug" has bitten her too whether she realizes it or not! LMAO It was her idea to breed mice to save a couple bucks, not mine! I do take care of the mice though, to prevent her from becoming attached to future meals!

Oh, one last thing! She bought me 2.2 lavenders from Rich for my birthday. Her mother was mortified when she told her about that. Not only that I keep snakes as pets but also that Jen (my fiance) allows them in our house! LMAO If my soon to be mother-in-law only knew that she does a whole lot more than simply tolerate my reptile friends...hehehe!

Sorry to be long winded but I think I'm pretty lucky myself,

Quigs

My boyfriend is pretty good about my snakeys. Our house is cramped with all our stuff so he rolls his eyes sometimes when I talk about getting more snakes, but he does like them and is now "trained" to the point where he can recognize some individuals and remember their names. The most impressive thing to me is he can spot the difference between my 2 normal kenyan girls now! I guess the only down side is that it will be hard to sneak any new additions in without him noticing LOL

Well, I'll provide a male response, but my view is probably a bit unique (we'll just leave it at 'I don't have a wife/girlfriend').

It's not surprising that your husband, or anyone for that matter, doesn't share your love the same way you do. Generally when someone obsesses over something a great deal, particularly hobbies (which your husband is exposed to on a VERY regular basis) it's hard for your partner to express the same excitement you do let alone as often you as do. Amanda, you will likely NEVER tire of you looking at your beautiful snakes, but your husband doesn't appreciate or understand the delicate differences and intricacies of each specimen. Males have a great capacity to categorize and pay attention to mechanical details such as pattern variations, etc but if your husband isn't interested it's hard for him to appear excited ESPECIALLY the 50th time around, if you know what I mean. It sounds like he supports your hobby, but just can't share in the excitement the same way you do. I'm sure he has a love or hobby that feels the same about. Everyone should do their best to take an active interest in the hobbies of their partner, but this can only extend to a certain degree. I can only get excited about something I'm not excited about so much.

It sounds to me like he was making an attempt to learn more by guessing what he thought which snake was. I hope you responded in a positive manner. There are enough elitists in the hobby who feel like their knowledge is sacred and untouchable, we definitely don't want our spouses feeling like they're on the outside looking in.

Arson said:

I'm sure he has a love or hobby that feels the same about. Everyone should do their best to take an active interest in the hobbies of their partner, but this can only extend to a certain degree.

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Yes, he's a computer programmer and I try to get him to talk to me about his job, but when he "starts talking a different language" (e.g. php, servlets, etc.) it's hard for me to stay focused too. I do understand that it goes both ways.

Arson said:

It sounds to me like he was making an attempt to learn more by guessing what he thought which snake was. I hope you responded in a positive manner.

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Yeah, I know. Actually, it does seem like he is trying to learn more (now that he knows it's not just a passing phase). If he really thought about it, I'm sure he could probably name all of my snakes, but matching the names with the snakes, that's something else.

I guess I was a little hard on him. Just yesterday I overheard a phone conversation of him talking to a friend that he hasn't talked to in about a year. He said, "We're expecting eggs soon from one of the snakes." So I know that he does care, and I did think it was cool that he said "we" rather than "my wife."

It's good to see you respond the way you did. I'm no expert on relationships, but I can definitely say that relationships, whether romantic or plutonic, almost ALWAYS fail due to lack of communication. If you can't talk to each other that's a very fundamental flaw. It sounds like you're handling this well.

Don't feel bad about getting lost with "tech talk." I work with computers rather frequently and I find (like most anything) that the more I learn the the more I found out I really don't know. There is a lot to learn about computers, but the fact that their operating systems (Mostly Microsoft Windows) are so easy to operate we don't take the time to learn some of the most basic things, such as the components INSIDE THE CASE and what they all do. People get lots in the RAMs and ROMs and GigaHertz and MHz and servers and MegaBytes. I use a very wonderful analogy that helps people understand what each component of a computer is for. You don't have to know what everything does, but if you can understand the basic components and makes things much easier.

My wife does the same thing to me, but she does it over clothes instead of snakes.

She'll buy something, then stick it in the back of her closet. After a suitable time has passed, she'll bring it out and wear it. "IF" I realize it's something I haven't seen on her before, and I ask if it's new, she says,

"Oh no ... I've had this for a while now." Even though we BOTH know it's never been worn and probably still has an original tag on it somewhere that she overlooked while cutting the rest of them off fifteen minutes earlier!



So ... You want a MALE perspective????

I don't think you ladies need to limit yourself to snakes! We guys are oblivious about LOTS of things!!!!

LOL....great thread!

Yeah, my husband is not much in the noticing the snakes either. I could pull out five different snakes at different times and he wouldn't notice that they were different ones. He never asks mea about them, but, he will politely listen to me get excited over something about them. I had actually wondered if he didn't care for my having them until just a couple weeks ago when two seperate situations told me he must not mind at all.

He came home from work (he is a guard at the nearby Nuclear Power plant) and told me he saw a large snake, about 3 ft. long, on one of his rounds. The only snake it could be for around here is a milk snake. Anyway, he told me he tried to catch it and bring it home for me but it was too fast for him. You have to understand that he is not an animal person like I am and has never caught a wild snake before. I warned him to take care if he tries it again. And then a couple days later I came home and he told me he had caught a huge, wild beast for me while mowing the lawn and it was outside in a container and was pretty proud of himself. (actually he saved it from being run over by the mower) I went outside on the porch and there was a marshmellow container sitting there and in it was bits of grass and a snake. (picture attached - lol..this is the monster which by the way is full grown) But it was sure cute of him to think of doing that. He still does not recognize one snake from another and I can get a new one and he would never know the difference, but at least I know he doesn't mind.

LOL, this is a fun thread, I agree wholeheartedly. =P

And an adorable little brown snake you have there, Gardenmum. I captured one last year as it was dangling from a Hemlock plant in the pasture. =D

My husband isn't near as excited about the snakes/breeder mice as I am. I will be good and admit that I am a "Pet Addict". Growing up I was always around animals. My dad raised peacocks, guineas, chickens, quail, pheasants, pigeons, doves, cows, rabbits, and German shepards. I, too, was the type that I'd find some sort of wild animal and want to keep it. Although that rarely happened.

All my husband had was two older siblings and a dog, so he's not really experienced on all of the animals as I am. But he tries. =P

But I can sit there and jabber for hours about my snakes..how they ate, who's being pissy, who's shedding, how the eggs are doing and he politely sits there smiles and nods. I know he doesn't really care like I do, but it's nice to know that he's listening at least.

The funny thing was he was sitting in the room while I was feeding one day...and he noticed a couple of snakes as I was moving them to their feeding containers and asked "Those aren't corn snakes, what are they? And WHEN did you get them?" So he does notice. I hadn't told him I got a pair of Kenyan sand boas at all, and it's not that hard for most people to differintiate the different body styles...except for my mom, to her all snakes are "ugly, vile creatures".

But when he's jabbering about or working on his '79 Camaro, I do try to be helpful and learn about the inner workings. I even got to help put on intake manifold gaskets last summer, indeed a special day. So it goes both ways around here. I've got the zillions of pets and he has his car.

My husband is great, my two girls and me turn up with all sorts of animals eg. cats, dogs,horses, rabbits and now snakes ( the girls and me love animals). And all he says is as long as your happy hun, lol.

But he's getting into the snake hobby, even said we should have one of every colour lol

OMG! I'll take your husband! Mine's great about the snakes....as a matter of fact I'm waiting on some lovely new Okeetees to be born so that I can be a new mom! He's O.K. with that so I can't really complain.