Update on scout the black rat snake

[snakemom1961]

The latter.

I thought so, but had to ask...lol

 

[medusacoils]

I see no reason to apologize for what was very good advice. Did some return the ridicule they received? Possibly, but why not? He hides behind his age, but if you will look at the ages of many of our members who do NOT ridicule, downplay and berate members with much more experience then him and see they are not any older then him, yes what was said to him was much deserved.
Susan, I understand what your getting at, but honestly I feel this kid NEEDS to have his eyes opened IF POSSIBLE by someone. It seems as though he needs a 2x4 knocked over his head at times, but we still as a group TRY to inform him of the errors of his ways.
Does that make us bad people, and are we suppose handle this boy with kid gloves? I know the kid is looking for any attention he can get, I've seen this kind of behavior many times with kids i've worked with at school, and know how hard it is for these kids to fit in. But in my uneducated experience it is best to allow these kids to be given the same brakes as other kids their age.
Just my opinion, which probably means little.

I agree to a point. There is such thing as a spirited debate and then their is a lynching! I did get involved in this a little and I found myself dumbfounded by some of David responses. But at the same time, it makes sense that he is just an child, who doesn't quite understand the meaning of life and that is because he hasn't lived it, yet. Does that excuse everything he has done? NO!! Not by a long shot.

I think we all need to take a step back and do some personal inventory, about this situation. Giving this kid a good old tongue lashing is one thing. The unnecessary belittling is another. It did get out of hand and that is what I was apologizing for.

Do I think he deserves some of what he got? Absolutely, without a doubt!! Making fun of him for a simple reading error. That's another.

Thanks for your support, though! Like I mentioned in a previous post. At some level we have to realize his youth and complete inexperience, open our wings and to give a lollipop. Before that happens though, I think he needs some time in the corner!

Wayne

 

[Rotach]

Geez, Snakemom.. your digging kind of deep by mentioning the 15 year olds parents and the're alledged lack of proper upbringing. I don't think it's necessary to go there, were not the kid's shrinks. And blindly judging an adolecent's family is not only harsh, but very personal.

David, if you take anything away from this, I hope it's that you know you did wrong, you understand it, and you learn from it. You sound like a bright kid and if you have any further questions, feel free to PM me anytime.

The whole reason for this site is to share a hobby and learn from each other's experiences. When I started to see people poke fun and mock a 15 year old, it was very distasteful.

 

[LBoz]

I looooove you, Rotach! :wavey:

 

[Rotach]

Well said Wayne. -Rich

 

[Rotach]

: ) Thank you LBoz, I try.

 

[danielle]

It is the parents responsibility to lead there child in properly caring for an animal. Thats how we learn to nurture the pets we love- by watching and listening to our parents. As a parent I make my kids learn how to feed, water, handle, and clean every animal we own, and if ever I felt my kids care bordered on abuse I would step in in a heartbeat. I am not going to judge his parents upbringing, but I do question their judgement. When my daughter wanted a corn snake I spent hours reading and asking all the dumb question I could think of to ensure when we brought our little guy home I could be an appropriate example to my daughter in teaching her about her new animal- that IS the parents job, and not the childs. David is a child verging on adulthood, but none the less a child. When any parent allows a child to own an animal they need to be the example in their care, and not the child. They should be on here learning, asking questions, and teaching David how to be a responsible snake owner. So do I feel he is getting the support at home he needs to teach him responsible pet care? no. Is that harsh? no-it's reality period. Caring for an any animal is a huge responsibility and David I don't think you are doing the most horrible job in the world at all I just wish when someone points out something you should do different you didn't get defensive. No one has perfect parents and I'm sorry yours aren't better leaders, but this means you should be even more open to help from other adults. If I ever offended you I am sorry i don't pick on little kids for fun. My intentions were to highlight the danger in your feeding spree and give you better safer options.

 

[medusacoils]

I agree with what you are saying. I can't speak for anyone, but I think most agree. It's not the fact that he is a child and in serious need of guidance, his inexperience, his mistakes, his ignorance or blatant defiance that I am apologizing for. It's the crap that happened afterward, that was wrong. I think being adults and genuinely concerned for the welfare of David's pets, we should have kept the whole conversation relevant. Don't you agree?

Calling out or insulting his parents, who I don't believe any of us know, isn't going to change or prove anything. We don't know what they are doing. For all we know, he could be taking the "I know everything" tone with them. Why would they question it if he comes off knowing a little about it? Haven't you ever BS'd your way through something?

OK, OK, OK!! Now I wound up in a position, I don't want to be in. I am not defending David, his parents or his arrogant ignorance! I am condemning my behavior at the end of this thread. I think we need to take the high road on this! Let byegones be byegones and move forward! As I mentioned before, it's like beating a dead horse, no get up and go!

We can only assist, when our assistance is wanted and warranted. We are at the mercy of the limitations of this forum. Do you agree?

Wayne

 

[medusacoils]

PS I would rather have that kid here, posting about his mistakes, than trying to wing this on his own. Maybe and I mean maybe, a little of what we are saying is sinking in. If he chooses to ignore us, then that is his problem. The only thing I feel bad for is his pets in that case.

Wayne

 

[danielle]

PS I would rather have that kid here, posting about his mistakes, than trying to wing this on his own. Maybe and I mean maybe, a little of what we are saying is sinking in. If he chooses to ignore us, then that is his problem. The only thing I feel bad for is his pets in that case.

Wayne

This I totally agree with, but no my kids could not BS me into believing they knew what they were doing with an animal in my home if it were BS because I research their interests and so should any parent allowing their child to bring an animal into their home. I am actually sorry for being hard on David he is a kid, but i am not sorry for calling his parents out and I did so politely. Kids make mistakes which is why they must be cared for by an adult so the adults in his home should be just as concerned as we are with his animals welfare. I guess I am nuts maybe? When my kids say mommy I want a......I look it up immediately and decide if it is something we can handle together always and had the same response from my parents. I am open to almost any pet I know I can properly care for, but no animal comes in my home without me educating myself beforehand.

 

[medusacoils]

This I totally agree with, but no my kids could not BS me into believing they knew what they were doing with an animal in my home if it were BS because I research their interests and so should any parent allowing their child to bring an animal into their home. I am actually sorry for being hard on David he is a kid, but i am not sorry for calling his parents out and I did so politely. Kids make mistakes which is why they must be cared for by an adult so the adults in his home should be just as concerned as we are with his animals welfare. I guess I am nuts maybe? When my kids say mommy I want a......I look it up immediately and decide if it is something we can handle together always and had the same response from my parents. I am open to almost any pet I know I can properly care for, but no animal comes in my home without me educating myself beforehand.

I totally agree! Thats how it is for me and the way it should be for everyone. Too bad all kids don't have parents that care as much as we do! Unfortunately, some don't. Case in point, I think.

Well said,

Wayne

 

[Hypancistrus]

Lauren the reason I got so defensive was that in the first page of this whole mess I said I was going back to my normal feeding charts 2 pinks a week whcih is okay for an 18in black rat snake. And I kept haveing people tell me that I wouldnt go back but I already have! So tehn I keep getting the whole do this do that when I already said I would go back!

You always have the option to walk away mate...

 

[Rotach]

Danielle,
The way you do things with your children sounds awesome, that's the way it should be. Unfortunately, not all parents are that attentive and responsible.

What I'm saying is that were online, so there is a limited amount of information that we know about David. Do you even know if David has parents? Maybe he lives with other relatives? Who the hell knows? Instead of making assumptions on David's home life, we should try to provide him with the correct information. And I DO know that, that is what everyone tried to do. Hopefully he changes his tude and learns from this all.



I see your point and agree to a certain extent, but

 

[Rotach]

(Oops) since David's mom and dad aren't members here, and I can't speak to them directly, I'm going to keep my advice limited to what I know and not make assumtions. -Rich

 

[Carinata]

It is the parents responsibility to lead there child in properly caring for an animal. Thats how we learn to nurture the pets we love- by watching and listening to our parents. As a parent I make my kids learn how to feed, water, handle, and clean every animal we own, and if ever I felt my kids care bordered on abuse I would step in in a heartbeat. I am not going to judge his parents upbringing, but I do question their judgement. When my daughter wanted a corn snake I spent hours reading and asking all the dumb question I could think of to ensure when we brought our little guy home I could be an appropriate example to my daughter in teaching her about her new animal- that IS the parents job, and not the childs. David is a child verging on adulthood, but none the less a child. When any parent allows a child to own an animal they need to be the example in their care, and not the child. They should be on here learning, asking questions, and teaching David how to be a responsible snake owner. So do I feel he is getting the support at home he needs to teach him responsible pet care? no. Is that harsh? no-it's reality period. Caring for an any animal is a huge responsibility and David I don't think you are doing the most horrible job in the world at all I just wish when someone points out something you should do different you didn't get defensive. No one has perfect parents and I'm sorry yours aren't better leaders, but this means you should be even more open to help from other adults. If I ever offended you I am sorry i don't pick on little kids for fun. My intentions were to highlight the danger in your feeding spree and give you better safer options.

Listen I'm not gonna falme you or make fun of you but, but my mother makes me tell her the captive care of every single animal I bring into HER home. I am a very good reader and read all the time. I finished the ball oythons book today...good read! Anyway the problem was a snake had not aten for 4 months. I paniced and was ecstatic when feeding resumed I wen tover board I relixe that now. My Mother doesnt say "okay little david how many mice did you use"
I am not going to stand for you "calling out" my parents. They have no part in my snake keeping except when I get a snake I have to read a book and present a power point to my mother on sed snake or frog. I made a mistake ok. I admitted that in my first couple posts. Everyone makes mistakes. So we all need not curse and blame each other for thing we need to accpet what has happened is done. Yes I made a mistake but really do you think I came with intentions to start the 153 post thread that YOU have maid it into? I have tried to be good to this forum with little positive outcome. Some how I get into conflicts here that are O.K. on other forums. Do you really think this forum has not "ganged up"?

 

[lyndy299]

David, I think you do have a problem here. Please don't assume it is everyone else ganging up on you and therefore you are not at fault. Things get heated because you continue to argue. I originally posted on this thread with advice and left you to it. This thread has since, gotten huge and I did not feel the need to post until it had calmed down a bit.

I understand you seem to have realised the error of your ways in regards to this particular snake. I hope you continue to get a good feeding response from the little one.

Please understand that the reason you do not get trouble on other forums is because people all over the world keep their animals differently. However, the members of this forum have made several of their opinions clear. Please respect that.

I want to give you some advice. As soon as things get heated, if they do again, please take a step back. Please work on how you explain things, and if you have realised the error of your ways, do not get aggressive about it. Apologise. I don't think there's another member on here who would not do the same had they been wrong in a situation.

Your original posts were confusing. Accept that. Your previous post is better. One line responses to a problem which requires more explaining will usually cause more arguments.

However, well done for admitting you made a mistake.

Again, I wish you luck with Scout.

 

[Carinata]

Well I am trying very hard and I hope I get it right someday

 

[danielle]

If you think i made this a 153 thread post you should reevaluate this angry statement and get back to me. On a side note and the one that is important I am glad you know feeding this much was the wrong choice- that is all anyone was looking for in the first place. The reason this thread got this much attention is because you completed all of your i know I shouldn't have fed this much statements with a defense for the reason you did it. This is the reason all of your threads receive this much attention because a person who knows they made a mistake does not defend their mistake, and when they do people wonder if they really realize their actions were poor in the first place. I am glad your mom is involved with your animal care and sorry your dad hurt you and your family. If it makes you feel better my dad left my mom when I was six weeks old and she remarried a man when I was 6 who opened my eyes to the reptile world and is soley responsible for my addiction. You have already been told how your reactions to help are taken by other people and yes you have been ganged up on a little because of your tone after advie is given. I respect you are learning and will make mistakes- i am guilty of a few myself, but do try to stop defending poor care and you will see the tone of others change.

 

[Carinata]

I was not defending it I made a mistake. My mom follows my herp thing closley and makes me do a 20 slide power pint on every snake I get

 

[lyndy299]

David. Woah. You don't need to keep repeating yourself. Danielle's post was not aggressive.