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Bringing parents around...

MattEllis

MattEllis

Corn Snakes - Woot!
Now, don't get me wrong .. I respect my parents, but I'm gonna kabooom soon. I've tried showing them I'm responsible (not saying I wasn't before) but I've tried to do more and more things for them etc

I asked my dad the other day if he would allow me to buy a corn snake, and said no because "he dosnt want one in the house". Whats up with that!? He wouldn't even see it, it'd be in my room mostly .. with me.

I've been researching into corn snakes for at least five months now, and I've really wanted one. It's really stupid but I've already decided I wanted a male called "Irwin" in respect of Steve Irwin.

I'm turning 16 in october. Any other teenagers on here, gone through the same, or any tips on how to bring parents around to letting me keep one? ;o Maybe things I could tell them that might make them feel better.
 
Well lets see, im 14 now and i got my first snake when i was 12. My mom and dad both said no for the same reason as yours they didnt want one in the house. I didnt understand it either sence it would be in my room. I got them to cave in by going to the pet store with them and showing them how docile they are. I printed out info on them. Most info says they are one of the best if not the best reptile pets too keep. My parents still said no because they thought it might escape. I showed them the viv it would be in and just too make them feel better i said i would buy clips for the top of the viv. I also told them the pets are easy too take care of and if we went away for a few days no one would have to watch it(deoends on the type of water dish you hve i have the one that you put water in andit lasts for about 2 weeks). They eat only once a week or less. Soo tell they you have all the info you need to keep the snake. By that time for me my parents had gone to the store with out me knowing it and talked to the people and desided i could get one. If your parents still say no then well look at the bright side you leave the house in 2 years. :grin01: Hope it all works out for you.
 
The best advice I can give you is don't lie to your parents and sneak one in anyway. As a parent, I cannot emphasize that enough. You want them to trust you and the best way to accomplish that is to be honest.

Do like Dave said, and take them to a pet store. Show them the snakes, and show them the tanks. If you still can't convince them, you will have to respect their wishes for now. Be patient, you will be out on your own soon enough. I know it seems like forever to you now, but you'll be grown before you know it.

And before you know it, your children will be your age and you'll be wondering where the time went.
 
Maybe you could exploit the least resistant parent? That's what I did when I was a kid. My mother said no to everything, but I still ended up with cats, dogs, ferrets, lizards, gerbils, hamsters, snails, frogs, newts, snakes, etc.. My father was a softie, especially when the animal was going to cost him nothing. My siblings and I would ambush him on trips to the store, and we'd come home with who-knows-what. We'd all (including Dad) catch heck from Mom for weeks, and then she'd end up loving all the creatures too. :)

Of course, my parents divorced when I was sixteen, so you may want to rationally evaluate the merits of the "divide and conquer" strategy... :grin01:
 
I was in the same situation as you are, and I can say from experience that time was the key. I wanted a snake for around two years before I even started hinting at the possibility of getting one. When I did, I wrote a sort of essay e-mail to my mom describing everything about snakes from what they eat, to what they need to have a comfortable living environment, to the details of things like thermoregulation. I included all of the facts I learned from research in it so she would know I knew how to care for it properly.

I sent her three or so essay-e-mails before she talked to me about it, and she gave me permission to get one. There was a lot of battling done before she finally let me though, it's generally not an easy process to persuade a parent into a pet, especially one like a snake.

I understand the whole essay thing just doesn't work for some people, but writing things down helps me understand them, and I can get my thoughts out more clearly that way (I also learned a lot more because things tend to stick if I write them down). Just persevere and don't give up if it is something you truly want, but don't go against the wishes of your parents if they stay firm on the "no snakes" policy.

Good Luck!
 
From the POV of a parent -
You'll need to prove you can be responsible, and getting one without permission is quite the opposite.
One way to prove it is to fulfull all your tasks well and without complaint.
Another is to choose your battles and not whine, pout, or yell during a discussion.

Another is to do all the homework and research necessary, and save up to purchase the supplies yourself.
A sign of maturity is the ability to wait until the proper moment, which might take a while.

Remember - their house, their rules.

I hate to sound like an old guy who doesn't understand, but the truth is, I understand all too well. I was once in your shoes, exactly. I kept all kinds of pets as a teen, and needed my parents' help frequently.
-Jack
 
I remember when my 16 year old daughter wanted to get her belly button pierced. She got on the internet, downloaded a bunch of information, pro and con, from respectable sources. She wrote an executive summary, organized all the info with tabs, put it into a binder and presented it all to me an her mom for our consideration.

We still said "NO", but boy we're we impressed!

Bottom line, she convinced us that she was an independent thinker, who based her decisions on the best information she could find. Now that she is 19, I never worry about what she is going to do or how she will handle something new.
 
How many times have you discussed with you dad ? If it was just once and he had no clue you wanted a snake, a "re-attack" would be in order I think. By all means be respectful, but I would ask for some specific objections rather than "I don't want one in the house".

Be careful how and when you bring it up. I know if I picked the wrong time for something like that with my dad when I was growing up I got the "because I said so" response. If he gives you some specifics maybe you can educate him some on cornsnakes and ease his concerns.

Sounds like you are doing everything right so far, but you will need some more patience. You've done a lot of research by the sounds of it and have taken on more responsibilities, I would try and point that out if you haven't already. Again, be respectful and ask him to consider it at least...good luck.
 
BeckyG said:
The best advice I can give you is don't lie to your parents and sneak one in anyway. As a parent, I cannot emphasize that enough. You want them to trust you and the best way to accomplish that is to be honest.

Do like Dave said, and take them to a pet store. Show them the snakes, and show them the tanks. If you still can't convince them, you will have to respect their wishes for now. Be patient, you will be out on your own soon enough. I know it seems like forever to you now, but you'll be grown before you know it.

And before you know it, your children will be your age and you'll be wondering where the time went.
Click to expand...
Actually, we found that sneaking animals in is the best way. If we would have obeyed my mother, we'd be out 2 P. imperator :p Bet part is, now she's fine with them.
 
I agree with those posters who said to do the research, write a well thought out report and do everything else asked so that you can show them that you are responsible. And I would not suggest "sneaking" one in either...=P

On the plus side of doing all of the above work, even if your parents still say no, is that you have to do stuff like that for the rest of your life, in college (obviously), at work (you want your boss to upgrade your computer? do the research, show the boss it would only cost X amount and improve your performance by Y amount and guess what, they'll probably upgrade you), for yourself (need or want to buy something big or expensive? you need to do the research and get a clear picture of the pros and cons)...

So, it's good exercise for a procedure you're going to have to keep doing, even when you are the "boss" of your home and can buy the snakes you want. =)
 
Thanks for all your advice guys :cheers:

I'm going to sit them both down and talk it over soon lol .. if not, I'll just show them I've research into it alot by making my own lil report on snakes and everything I've learned about them etc.. might help them see I've done my research.
 
I forgot to say ... I have been taking my laptop downstairs and purposely sitting next to my dad ... doing hours of research into them, and just strolling around this forum.

I'm quite surprised, a while go my mum booked me to see a professional snake breeder who was going to go through everything with me and get me set up with all the equipment. It was when me and my mum were ging out to meet him that my dad asked where we were going and we told him and he said "nooo way". I thought my mum would be the one saying no to a snake, rather than my dad whom I thought would love a reptile lol Strrannggee Maybe he's scared of 'em? He says he isn't, but I dont know. I'll defo be asking him for reasons, respectfully of course. It's not fair on me to say "no" .. without telling me why I can't.
 
Sound like very good tactics, much like those my 14yr old is using because he wants scorpions. It worked for his leopard gecko , tree frogs and his budgie, but then I'm a bit of a push-over for new pets :rolleyes:
 
You sound like you have it easy compared to me.

I'm 20 and living at home and I've been really into the idea of getting a corn since a couple years ago or so. I figured now would be a good time to look into the idea again, as I'll be spending my 2nd year (and 3rd possibly) of Uni living at home and commuting. I mentioned just a while ago to my Mother that I wanted to get a snake. Big mistake..

She just immediately raised her voice repeating over and over 'NO I DON'T WANT IT IN THE HOUSE THEY GIVE ME THE CREEPS' and wouldnt answer any of my questions as to why etc. She won't even have a proper adult discussion about it - just a bit irrational don't you think?

There's not even the option for me to sweet talk the other parent, as mine are divorced and I live with her (and my 18 year old sister, who coincidentally thinks a snake would rock). It's not even a matter of cost (I have my own money) or maturity.. I'm a uni student, I lived away from home for the past year (and survived lol), I can drive and often do my own thing, letting her know when i'll be back etc. The only things I really rely on her for are a place to sleep, internet and food in the cupboard!

I guess there is the option to wait a while, do the whole 'present your research' thing but I really doubt it will get me anywhere if she won't even have a proper adult discussion with me. I asked her what she would do if I just got one anyway.. 'I'D TAKE IT DOWN THE PET SHOP OR SET IT FREE'... yes of course mum, really you'd do that ¬_¬ It ended up with her saying to me 'If you get a snake you can go with it'.. at which point I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with her at that point in time, and walked away from the situation.

We already have a cat and giant african land snails (which are far far grosser and smellier and .. yuck) so it's not an issue of having pets, because we already have them! The snails belong to my sister, she doesnt give a crap about them and often leaves them without food in their own dirt for my mum to see to. Perhaps she fears the same thing will happen with the snake? But as far as I know, a snake is in fact much easier to look after day to day.

So anyway, long post, but where do I begin?
 
EDIT: I should point out that one piece of information I did get out of her was that 'One got into the house in Africa so I don't like them'. She lived in Zambia from birth until she was 16 or so, but this is clearly a different situation entirely with a WILD, (potentially?) poisonous, dangerous snake entering the house, compared to owning a tame, captive bred, harmless corn snake in a locked viviarium.

Grr, just so frustrated :(
 
I remember when I was a kid.....:rolleyes:


As a dad, I tell my son 'NO' regarding animals because he has a proven track record with past animals of not taking care of them. I think Dave123 gave great advise suggesting you print off literature and care sheets to show them. Just sitting by dad while surfing the net is good, but too indirect. Take the direct approach and have your ammunition ready showing you've done your homework. Tell them the 1st time your viv or care shows neglect you'll find it a new home and lastly, if you were my kid and you volunteered to take on a chore around the house to show me you can be responsible on a consistent basis, I'd be impressed with you commitment.

Good luck! If it doesn't work with your folks, I'll have a boat load of leaves needing raked in another month or so and I've got 8 snakes you can take care of!:grin01:
 
ooOo.. you've got a deal, I'll just fly over to Ohio and that racking will be done in no time! hehe

So far, no luck. Even if they don't let me get one.. I will still be having one when I leave home. I keep showing my mum this thread and she sighs lol

I suppose it's a good thing they're not letting me get one yet, since my hamster would be pretty ... scared if a snake went past its cage lol
 
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