Fed up the the negativity towards my pet snakes

[DollysMom]

While there are a number of people in my life who are cool with snakes, it seems there are even more who are not. Mostly it is a "snakes are not my thing" kind of comment in response to my telling someone about my pets and what they mean to me. Underlying it is something that I find much more frustrating.

First, I'm not without empathy. There are some folks who have true phobias. Some folks don't care for certain animals. I get that. I'm not a fan of big dogs which if they decided to, could do me serious harm. In fact several times I've been at someone's house where their giant pit bull, which I'm assured is gentle and would never hurt a fly roams around me. I never feel comfortable, but I smile, pet the dog and know it's only a short time and I'll be going home again.

What if I told someone I had two kittens and had just adopted a cat from a shelter (or make that puppies and a dog). Can anyone imagine their next words being "well cats really aren't my thing". While it might eventually come out that they have an allergy or that they personally don't want a pet cat, how often would it come up in their first paragraph?

Why is it okay to hate on snakes. Why is the first question, "are they poisonous?" Why not be happy for me that I have pets that bring joy to my life. Why not be happy for me that after going through some rough stuff in recent years and having landed on my feet, I have some pets that bring me joy.

My snakes are my beloved pets. I've always liked snakes, but started keeping them again when I moved to a place where there is a dog and cat allergy. Why is a pet hamster celebrated but a pet snake is not?

I know no one outside of this board wants to hear me go on and on about my sneaky ones. I get that. I don't do that. There are some folks I'm just getting back in touch with after moving. It's like I just try to tell someone who knows the rough stuff I've been through and who should be happy that I found a pet that brings me joy, and then there's the ewwww moment. And that's okay?

Of course I don't know the ones who don't really like snakes but who remain silent and suck it up. They don't make with the comments, just like I make nice around the pit bulls, and God bless their hearts.

I'm so glad I can hang here with people who understand and who love our little docile and harmless, bred as pets, corn and other snakes. Thanks for listening and feel free to add your thoughts. I needed to get that off my chest.

 

[axis1]

Couldn't agree more!!

I actually LIVE with someone who has an aversion to snakes and thank heavens that I have enough space to give my little sneaky ones a room of their own, because my wife has NEVER EVER even TOUCHED one of my snakes and I've had 3 of them for about half the time we've been married! I know from experience though that phobias go beyond one's ability to be sociable or even civilized, but I agree with your point about THEIR choices and what if we judged THEM negatively as soon as they told us they had a kitten or a puppy!! Or even one of their human offspring (and I HATE when one of my friends or relatives sends me a Christmas card with a photo of their ugly kids in a group hug!)!!!!

Maybe it goes back to Genesis, when the devil is supposed to be talking through a serpent (if people REALLY THINK about this they would see the irony in the fact that the word "devil" means "deceiver" and to paint all snakes as evil would be similar to disposing of one of the best tools humans have in the fight against disease-ridden vermin, which destroy crops and carry other unwanted parasites and critters, and despite the fact that YouTube is the cause of turning a rat into a celebrity last year in NYC when someone taped it carrying a slice of pizza down a flight of steps in a local subway)!!!

Well Thanx again Dollysmom, for giving me the impetus to vent also!! Along with my morning coffee, I NEEDED THAT!

PS - I'm kinda glad that smartphones or even cameras were not ubiquitous when I was a kid, because when I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother!!! I even heard that while growing up my parents hired OTHER KIDS to play ME in home movies!!! And people wonder why I'm nuts?

 

[Eavlynn]

I agree, at times it drives me nuts how negatively people respond when they hear we have snakes. "All snakes are cobras" a friend of ours likes to say. I try my best to remind myself that it's largely due to lack of education and experience with reptiles.

It's easy to be afraid of something you don't understand. It's unfortunate that many people are unwilling to give them a chance. I think it would be great if more individuals were open minded. I'm afraid of spiders, so what did I do? I spoke with a friend that breeds tarantulas, to get some exposure therapy and conquer my fears. Now I have a pet Chilean Rose. I haven't had the courage to hold it yet, my boyfriend is the handler for now, but I love watching her (assuming it's a her, because I wanted to name her Rose. I'm so original) And I love the way she moves. I wouldn't give her up for anything.

We're all entitled to our own opinions, but it would be nice if people would base their opinions on their actual experiences instead of jumping to conclusions based on something they heard from someone else, or saw in the media. Wish in one hand, right?

 

[DollysMom]

Thanks for your comments Axis and Eavlynn.

I wish they understood how much I know they don't have to like snakes. But I wish they knew how little being polite costs.

It's not as if I'm asking them to touch snakes. I'm not asking them to like snakes. I'm just asking them to support me in what makes me happy by not instantly being negative. It's not like I'm asking them to support me in something illegal or immoral.

 

[Eavlynn]

A friend of ours likes to remind us that they think "all snakes are cobras". It's definitely frustrating.

 

[albertagirl]

Compassion and basic manners cost nothing. I went on this same rant just the other day after seeing a post on facebook. A friend of mine posted pictures of his poodles and made a comment about how cute they are. Another friend then commented on how poodles just aren't his thing. What a downer. If poodles aren't your thing, then maybe just say nothing and let him have his happy moment! Why do you gotta ruin it like that? And I bet that guy has never even spent any time with a poodle, but if it was a rottie or a pit bull (he's that type of guy) he would have been all over it. I agree, the look of poodles isn't my thing either, but I'm a dog trainer and I have to say that after working with some poodles, I think they're pretty darn cool. No wonder they were used as circus dogs. They are extremely fun to train! On the other hand, again as a trainer, I hate working with pit bulls. The dogs are awesome, but they tend to come with a certain type of owner who wants harsher old fashioned training methods and looks down their noses at scientifically backed positive reinforcement. Ok, so I'm ranting about dogs, not snakes, but I just wanted to say that general stupidity and ignorance towards animals knows no species.

As for snakes, I've received the following warnings from people who were genuinely afraid for my safety:
Snakes are only nonvenomous because they have their fangs pulled, but one day they'll grow back. Or one day you'll suddenly find a hundred babies in the cage and they won't have had their fangs pulled and then what will I do?
There's no such thing as a non-venomous snake.
My snakes will eat me. They'll eat my dogs.
And my favorite... now I will be single forever for sure! lmao

 

[DollysMom]

Wow Albertagirl. Well said.

Funny thing about the extreme misinformation being spread around as you note about non-venomous snakes, and Eavlynn with her "all snakes are cobras" friend, is how resistant some people are about learning the truth.

I'm lucky to be in an area where the Chicago Herpetological Society runs one of the greatest educational events called Reptilefest. Sadly some of the people who need it most won't attend.

Oh and then there is the news media. They still clearly promote snake phobia. Yesterday, there was a story on our local news about a woman releasing snakes in China as a good deed only to have the villagers kill them. The news story said the snakes were venomous, but the picture of the snake was clearly a Mandarin rat snake. Sheesh!

But back to the point, whether poodles, pit bulls, or snakes basic manners and compassion cost nothing and usually are their own reward.

 

[albertagirl]

Oh and then there is the news media. They still clearly promote snake phobia.

Fear sells. I don't watch the news or read the papers because scaring people makes more money for the media than telling the truth, and their #1 job is to make money just like everyone else. I have a whole other rant about the media, but I'll leave it at that. Cashing in on people's snake phobias. $$$

 

[Dragonling]

I went to pick up a couple of snakes at FedEx today (oops, they arrive tomorrow!). The guy asked what kind of live animal shipment I was getting so I told him it was just a couple of harmless young corn snakes. As I was leaving he said, "If they get out, I'm gonna kill them." How rude! I told him if his dog got loose I'd shoot it, that that's the equivalent of what he just said to me and it was uncalled for. I stormed out before he could respond. The nerve of people. I'm so done with it.

 

[Tavia]

I'm lucky enough that most people I meet face to face usually keep any negative reaction they have to the non verbal when they are informed I have snakes, though they flinch or recoil, they don't usually give voice to their negative thoughts. Most are willing to ask questions, usually very ignorant questions about them but seem to take in the answers, so I don't mind that.

Although I've myself been guilty of sometimes saying "that's not my thing but that's really cool or an especially nice looking one" to people very excitedly posting about some new thing, generally reptile, that's not my cup of tea and I probably shouldn't do that either, I really don't get the people that feel moved to comment on how much they personally don't like something someone else has, with no positives in their comment at all.
This was 4 years ago and I still remember it, we had recently gotten our first tricolor hognose and our macro lens a bit later, around that time was an anniversary of when my husband and I had met, so he bought me an orchid in a planter for it, his favorite color is blue and that's one of my favorites too, so he bought the white ones that had been injected with blue dye, because they were pretty. So we excitedly took our very first macro pictures of our tiny hognose posing among blue orchid flowers and posted them to some reptile forums, along with the info that the flowers were an anniversary gift. Some of the very first comments, thankfully not this forum, were on the fact that the posters hate dyed orchids and how that's a horrible thing to do to the plants and agreeing with previous posters saying the same thing, not one of the naysayers had anything positive to say about any of it, just focused on the flowers and I'm still sitting here going WTH? When did it become okay to disparage the gifts some stranger was given??

 

[BeauBoi]

I guess it is a common problem, and I know how depressing it can be, but I like to think things are improving.
Here in the south, I honestly blame it primarily on religion. I grew up in Louisiana, and I can't tell you the number of times I have heard, "Snakes were cursed by God to crawl on their bellies in the dust....bla bla....Adam & Eve.....bla bla bla....."
It has really affected the way I communicate with people. I owned a restaurant until 6 months ago, and I was used to talking to people pretty regularly, but I knew not to bring up my hobby until I got to know someone. Even then, I would brace myself for a possible bad reaction.
Now days, when I do mention my snakes to anyone, and if they do act poorl ("I done like snakes...bla bla...), I just tell them, "Really? Oh, I find that fascinating! It has always baffeled me that some people are afraid of things that simply cannot hurt them!"

Then I just wait for them to try and explain themselves without saying anything (I just stare at them intently, as though nothing in the world could be more interesting).

~Beau

 

[axis1]

Fear sells. I don't watch the news or read the papers because scaring people makes more money for the media than telling the truth, and their #1 job is to make money just like everyone else. I have a whole other rant about the media, but I'll leave it at that. Cashing in on people's snake phobias. $$$

How about "Snakes On A Plane?" I LOVE action thrillers AND Samuel L. Jackson, but I was SO disappointed with this flick, because of the generally negative picture it paints relative to ALL snakes, because of the myths it propagates about them, and also because of HORRIBLY PHONY special-effects. Even the humorous dialogue and brief quickie-sex scenes couldn't redeem this movie from the bottomless pit where it resides since its release!!

Even "Anaconda" was watchable compared to this horrible freak show!!

Just sayin '.

 

[albertagirl]

Another random story that just came to mind. I have three dogs and I get a lot of flack for that. Nowadays it just doesn't even bother me anymore. They're my family. But it used to. One day I was going through a fast food drivethrough with all three dogs in the car and the woman working the window had the audacity to give me heck about having so many dogs. I asked her how many kids she has? She had FIVE kids. And she was telling me off for having three dogs?! I laugh now, but it really upset me at the time. Of course that was just practice for explaining to people why I have 4, then 5, then 7, then 8 snakes!!!

I do understand people being afraid of snakes. I'm afraid of spiders. I can equate the two in my mind. I understand flinching, it's an uncontrollable reaction to some degree. But online you have so much time to recover before you hit that "post" button. You can feel how you want about any topic, but you don't need to call other people down for feeling differently. So I like snakes, and you like cats. Ok. Let's just accept that and all be friends. Hahaha

I actually find it difficult sometimes to be on forums and social media because of the stuff I badly want to say in response to people's opinions and statements, but unless an animal is being harmed, or I feel I can actually do some good, I try to keep any negative comments to myself. That's one of the reasons I really like this forum. I feel like anyone who isn't genuinely here to learn or to educate get weeded out pretty quickly. I appreciate you guys!!

 

[DollysMom]

I'm sure the whole Genesis thing hurts, BeauBoi. I'm religious and consider all creatures as being of God. Sounds like you've found a way to work through it.

Axis, don't get me started with Snakes on a Plane. They lost me at the killer corn snake flying through the cabin. At least it is clear that the serpentine behavior was human induced and not normal, but I think that's lost on those who already fear or hate on snakes.

Albertagirl, this forum is for the most part a little island of sanity in the ocean of the Internet. Also, three dogs is not uncommon, and within city and county code just about everywhere. Whose concern except yours is it anyway?

 

[DollysMom]

I went to pick up a couple of snakes at FedEx today (oops, they arrive tomorrow!). The guy asked what kind of live animal shipment I was getting so I told him it was just a couple of harmless young corn snakes. As I was leaving he said, "If they get out, I'm gonna kill them." How rude! I told him if his dog got loose I'd shoot it, that that's the equivalent of what he just said to me and it was uncalled for. I stormed out before he could respond. The nerve of people. I'm so done with it.

Unbelievable! Beyond ignorant.

As an aside, nothing untoward was said, but the day Clyde arrived the driver sat for a few minutes staring at the box before walking up to the house with it. I told her I was expecting her and excited to get the package. She told me she was trying to figure out what was in the box. I told her that it was a baby harmless snake. Not another word was said by her about the contents. I'll give her credit for at least not saying anything. She could see how happy and excited I was so I hope that helped.

 

[DollysMom]

I'm lucky enough that most people I meet face to face usually keep any negative reaction they have to the non verbal when they are informed I have snakes, though they flinch or recoil, they don't usually give voice to their negative thoughts. Most are willing to ask questions, usually very ignorant questions about them but seem to take in the answers, so I don't mind that.

Although I've myself been guilty of sometimes saying "that's not my thing but that's really cool or an especially nice looking one" to people very excitedly posting about some new thing, generally reptile, that's not my cup of tea and I probably shouldn't do that either, I really don't get the people that feel moved to comment on how much they personally don't like something someone else has, with no positives in their comment at all.
This was 4 years ago and I still remember it, we had recently gotten our first tricolor hognose and our macro lens a bit later, around that time was an anniversary of when my husband and I had met, so he bought me an orchid in a planter for it, his favorite color is blue and that's one of my favorites too, so he bought the white ones that had been injected with blue dye, because they were pretty. So we excitedly took our very first macro pictures of our tiny hognose posing among blue orchid flowers and posted them to some reptile forums, along with the info that the flowers were an anniversary gift. Some of the very first comments, thankfully not this forum, were on the fact that the posters hate dyed orchids and how that's a horrible thing to do to the plants and agreeing with previous posters saying the same thing, not one of the naysayers had anything positive to say about any of it, just focused on the flowers and I'm still sitting here going WTH? When did it become okay to disparage the gifts some stranger was given??

Amazing how people will pick on things! I wish people were more nonverbal sometimes. The old saying about if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything seems to have gone by the wayside.

Personally, I mind ignorant comments. I swallow hard and move on, but it gets old.

I don't mind honest questions generally, but admit I'm so tired of the "poisonous" one as if it is assumed that they must be. Besides their names, hatch dates, sex and species, each of my vivs are labeled "HARMLESS SNAKE" just in case a contractor, first responder, or anyone else in my home would have a concern. I shouldn't have to do that but if it provides even a small measure of safety for them, it's worth it.

 

[DLena]

I have to jump in on this. After caring for my mom at home for a tough 4 years, she had to move to a nursing home. The couple who helped me get the house in shape to sell it agreed to also paint the interior of the house I bought. At the time, I had 2 collies and a Guinea pig. There was a little money left over after the house sale and purchase; my son wanted a grill, and I decided, at 52 years of age, that I deserved what I really wanted, too, so I got my first, then second... Corn snakes! When they came over to get specific on the painting job, they were very cool toward me when they saw my vivs. A few days later they said the job would be too much for them to do and they quit.
The wife also works at my school, and she must have told a few people "in confidence" about my hoard of snakes (really? It's 6) and it got around to me eventually. People who have known me for years now seem to have a problem...
Dumb crap, Could they gang up and eat the guinea pig or the dogs. Aren't I afraid they'll get me? Why would I do that?
Here's my blunt response: I raised two kids for two decades and cared for my mother daily for four years. My daughter now lives with her fianceé and my son will be gone within 2-3 years as well. One collie is 13 and probably will pass this summer, the other is 8 and will go with my son. The Guinea pig is almost 5 and they only last about five years -ish. I am 52. I might actually want to go away for a weekend or not have to rush straight home from work after four years of nonstop elder care with only my kids to help me. My corns are beautiful, have individualistic personalities, eat and poop once a week and are totally nondestructive. And I will be able to care for them into my twilight years. And they make me happy and reduce my stress levels. Since getting them, I have been able to back off my blood pressure meds!
If you are still reading my rant, I have met the nicest group of people ever on this forum. I'm looking forward to my summer when I will have a break to get pictures up and converse more. You all lead different lives, are all different ages, and live around the world. And for the most part, we all get along like a crazy family because we love our slinky babies. And as an added bonus, I have actually found 2 people on this site, hello DollysMom (Gail?) and Tavia, who like the Firefly tv series. Shiny!
I wouldn't trade this "hobby/life style" for anything.

 

[nicolefowler2005]

I totally understand where you are coming from!! It's not fair that people can bash pet snakes but we can't not like their, "normal" as they put it, animal! My fiancé Adam was scared to death of snakes but also knew that I had always wanted to have a pet snake, so when I found one that I fell in love with (Bella) he let me get one! Now he told me the other day that having two pet snakes has helped him get over his fear! He saw one in the wild and for the first time didn't freak out like he used to!!


Nicole

 

[DollysMom]

Thanks for weighing in DLena. Yes, it is Gail and I'm in the older category as well as a Firefly fan. In fact I'm old enough it was my grown son who introduced me to it some years ago. We went to see Serenity together, too.

Smaller snakes like corns are among the least physically demanding pets I've ever had. Thanks for your rant. Hearing your story helps me. I obviously woke up this morning at my rant point. And yes, this group totally rocks. You stated some of the strengths of it so well. I'm beyond grateful for it and folks like you.

Nicole, I'm so glad you found Bella, Tessa and this group. I'm also glad Adam was open to Bella. Sounds like a keeper to me

 

[axis1]

Hi DLena!

Awesome post! The whole thing! You said a lot there and are a shining example of how one can care for cornsnakes and reap the benefits of their ability to have a positive therapeutic effect!! That is unless I'm wrong and that hoard of snakes gangs up on you and your defenseless dog and guinea pig! Really? Wow, where the heck do you live? If no one I know died in a drive-by, I've had a great week! (OK, so I'm exaggerating a little! But JUST a little!!). My regular "job" since the early 1990's involved counseling individuals who are severely mentally ill AND who happen to be fortunate enough to be terminally-ill with under 6 months to live as a result of having the AIDS virus! The lucky ones DON'T hear voices!!

Sometimes I WISH I had people around me who worried over such trivial s*#t, JUST so I can practice being sarcastic without being mean, though that's a tough mix. I normally just comment on how nice it must be to have a worry-free existence!!

You hang in there girl and if no one told you they love you today, well I DO!!