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Fed up the the negativity towards my pet snakes
- Thread starter DollysMom
- Start date
DollysMom
It never gets old!
Well I'm back to this thread today. I changed my cover photo to a pic of Clyde over on Facebook. I got two more (paraphrased) , "I'm trying to like your pets, but I don't really like snakes."
I hope my reply wasn't too snippy:
Just had to vent again. I self-censor over there as it is. It's my feed. If I want to post 10 snakes a day it's my business. Everyone has a "thing". If I don't like someone else's "thing" I just ignore it. It's their "thing" and they are entitled to it!
Mostly even if I'm not really into their things I acknowledge and support them in their interests. I'd never say, for example, "I'm just not that interested in sailing. I'm glad you like it, but every time you post a picture of a sailboat I need to say something negative because I'm just not that into it. After all there are some boats that are dangerous and I'm scared of something that I really don't understand. Even though I know your boat is safe and well cared for and you love it, I just can't get into sailboats."
(BTW, I really love sailboats)
Sheesh.
I hope my reply wasn't too snippy:
Hey, I understand that a lot of people are not real fans of snakes. Other than fish, due to cat and dog allergies in the home, they are my only pets. They do have personalities, learn to trust their humans and require the same emotional investment as any pet. I refrain from posting the vast majority of my pics of them to my own feed and post to snake groups instead. I don't expect you to change your feelings and I'm not offended by anyone who silently hides them from their feed.
Just had to vent again. I self-censor over there as it is. It's my feed. If I want to post 10 snakes a day it's my business. Everyone has a "thing". If I don't like someone else's "thing" I just ignore it. It's their "thing" and they are entitled to it!
Mostly even if I'm not really into their things I acknowledge and support them in their interests. I'd never say, for example, "I'm just not that interested in sailing. I'm glad you like it, but every time you post a picture of a sailboat I need to say something negative because I'm just not that into it. After all there are some boats that are dangerous and I'm scared of something that I really don't understand. Even though I know your boat is safe and well cared for and you love it, I just can't get into sailboats."
(BTW, I really love sailboats)
Sheesh.
Tavia
Elemental Exotics
Really would depend on how your various people are more prone to react.
But most of my FB friends are huge animal lovers, even if they are afraid of snakes. It's taken years of slowly building up showing off cute stories and pictures of my snakes and liking and sharing posts on conservation, rattle snake roundups, etc. from places like USARK and The Reptile Report but I have had a number of them comment on how much they learn about snakes from me and have softened in their feelings. Most are still afraid of snakes in person but are more fascinated with them now. They live in areas where the default is to kill just about any snake one comes across and they are now way less likely to do so themselves and a bit more likely to stop others they are around from doing it too, so though it's taken as many as 7 plus years for some of them to get to that point, it's been worth it!
I know it's really annoying, especially at first, but just keep slowly sharing the positive side of snake ownership and you might influence at least a few of your friends into not being so ignorant about them. Feel free to rant here as much as needed though!
But most of my FB friends are huge animal lovers, even if they are afraid of snakes. It's taken years of slowly building up showing off cute stories and pictures of my snakes and liking and sharing posts on conservation, rattle snake roundups, etc. from places like USARK and The Reptile Report but I have had a number of them comment on how much they learn about snakes from me and have softened in their feelings. Most are still afraid of snakes in person but are more fascinated with them now. They live in areas where the default is to kill just about any snake one comes across and they are now way less likely to do so themselves and a bit more likely to stop others they are around from doing it too, so though it's taken as many as 7 plus years for some of them to get to that point, it's been worth it!
I know it's really annoying, especially at first, but just keep slowly sharing the positive side of snake ownership and you might influence at least a few of your friends into not being so ignorant about them. Feel free to rant here as much as needed though!
DollysMom
It never gets old!
Thanks Tavia. I just need a thicker turtle shell, lol. It was the same two as always today. They never miss an opportunity. I have to remember it's their problem, not mine!
Thanks DLena. We sure have!
On a brighter note, I took Mandy to the show and tell meeting at The Chicago Herpetological Society meeting last night. So nice to be among my peeps, lol.
Thanks DLena. We sure have!
On a brighter note, I took Mandy to the show and tell meeting at The Chicago Herpetological Society meeting last night. So nice to be among my peeps, lol.
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WillowBug
New member
DollysMom I agree but disagree I disagree because people have a right to not like snakes accept they should not say anything bad about you liking or having snakes they should just tell you they don't like snakes and they don't want it to be taken out during the visit. Do you see what I mean?
DollysMom
It never gets old!
WillowBug. I see what you mean.
These are people on Facebook. Both live over 2500 miles from me so being at my house is no issue. It is that every time I post a picture of a snake on my Facebook feed they tell me they don't like snakes. Hope that clarifies it. It's over in any case.
Glenaerie
Member
Some of this is a function of Facebook and the way it works. Your friends probably aren't as horrid in real life as they appear to be on FB, where you post a photo of something you care a lot about, and people can only give a very brief comment whenever they happen upon it.
In real life, you would have a pleasant conversation about the subject. Everyone would probably be polite and respectful of the other's feelings, since you are all friends.
Sometimes I think FB is very polarizing. I can't live without it at this point, but some aspects of it are hugely irritating to me. Every day, my feed contains things I don't like and don't want to see. But, I don't comment; I just sit there silently judging my friends by their politics or wacky beliefs and wondering why FB wants to show me so many photos of my friends' friends that I've never met.
Luckily, once in a while, I get to see these same friends in real life, and, by golly, they are still really nice! The FB stuff they post is but a tiny part of themselves.
And I have now "liked" so many herpetological and wildlife and science sites that they flood my FB newsfeed and make me happy.
In real life, you would have a pleasant conversation about the subject. Everyone would probably be polite and respectful of the other's feelings, since you are all friends.
Sometimes I think FB is very polarizing. I can't live without it at this point, but some aspects of it are hugely irritating to me. Every day, my feed contains things I don't like and don't want to see. But, I don't comment; I just sit there silently judging my friends by their politics or wacky beliefs and wondering why FB wants to show me so many photos of my friends' friends that I've never met.
Luckily, once in a while, I get to see these same friends in real life, and, by golly, they are still really nice! The FB stuff they post is but a tiny part of themselves.
And I have now "liked" so many herpetological and wildlife and science sites that they flood my FB newsfeed and make me happy.
Glenaerie
Member
...also (in addendum to what I just wrote about FB), when a friend posts something, you might feel that, as their friend, you should "like" their post in support. If you can't "like" the post, because you disagree with it or are creeped out by it, you might feel that you have to explain why you are not "liking" the post, for politeness' sake. This might be what's going on with your friends; they feel they must explain why they are not "liking" your snake pictures like a good friend should.
DollysMom
It never gets old!
Thanks Glenaerie. I only notice the likes, not a lack of them.
Yeah, if I see something I don't like I just move on without comment unless it is directly addressed to me. Even then I usually ignore it and move on.
Besides, I don't see half of the stuff my FB friends post in their feeds and I figure it works both ways. But yeah, logic has nothing to do with this.
P.S. I don't think they are horrid for expressing their dislike for snakes but don't understand why once is not enough!
Yeah, if I see something I don't like I just move on without comment unless it is directly addressed to me. Even then I usually ignore it and move on.
Besides, I don't see half of the stuff my FB friends post in their feeds and I figure it works both ways. But yeah, logic has nothing to do with this.
P.S. I don't think they are horrid for expressing their dislike for snakes but don't understand why once is not enough!
Glenaerie
Member
I'm guessing that possibly "once is not enough", because they feel that every time you post a snaky photo, they feel they must respond, to be polite. And they just can't "like" it, so they feel they have to say why. Some people think FB is a much more personal medium than it really is, I think.
axis1
Fuhgeddaboudit!!!!
Hi there Glenaerie! How ya been?
Sorry to disagree, but I doubt it do with Facebook at all. I think it has to do with the fact that most people just suck and you can tell who they are when they are arrogant enough to let their stuff hang out about snakes. I don't really trust anyone who says anything negative about my pet snakes. (My 91 year-old mother is included in this group and while I love her unconditionally and with all my heart, I still don't TRUST her 100% because she hates snakes AND because she's Catholic - I happen to be a recovering Catholic also!).
When someone sends me a Christmas card with their ugly-ass kids in it, I don't comment to them, "Hey, thanx for the card but your daughter better get a good job because she looks like she fell out of an Ugly Tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down!" I just say, "Thanx for the card!" If I happen to see them or they ask me if I received it. On the other hand, if I send them one with a picture of one of my little sneaky ones wrapped around a giant candy-cane, I would take offense if they said something negative about my serpent!
Cut me some slack, I KNOW I'm a little nuts, but WHO isn't? Unfortunately, I happen to be an expert in human behavior, a career path I chose and which I value highly. I say unfortunately only because as a result of my experience and education, I know what even the "nicest" one in the room is capable of. Most people don't. I have to because it's my job and even if it wasn't, I think I'd just rather know. But that makes me suspicious (somewhat) of where people are coming from in general and when someone lets their stuff hang out about negative feelings towards any animals, especially ones that protect them from vermin and disease and pestilence, then I outright don't trust them and choose not to like them either.
I'm more at home here on the cornsnake forum than on Facebook. I actually unsubscribed anyway (made my account inactive). I prefer Twitter for news and trends (just to keep tabs on what's happening because it's much more quick-paced) and will leave Facebook maybe until I retire or have too much time on my hands. As it is, life is much too short for Facebook and we're dead a long time! I prefer being here where at least I'm amongst people with something valuable in common, even if it's that ONE thing, caring for Corn snakes is one of my favorite hobbies (outside of running, skydiving, and writing! Did I mention sex? Probably not, as there may be members here who are underage!).
Thanx for letting me share!!! :crazy02:
Sorry to disagree, but I doubt it do with Facebook at all. I think it has to do with the fact that most people just suck and you can tell who they are when they are arrogant enough to let their stuff hang out about snakes. I don't really trust anyone who says anything negative about my pet snakes. (My 91 year-old mother is included in this group and while I love her unconditionally and with all my heart, I still don't TRUST her 100% because she hates snakes AND because she's Catholic - I happen to be a recovering Catholic also!).
When someone sends me a Christmas card with their ugly-ass kids in it, I don't comment to them, "Hey, thanx for the card but your daughter better get a good job because she looks like she fell out of an Ugly Tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down!" I just say, "Thanx for the card!" If I happen to see them or they ask me if I received it. On the other hand, if I send them one with a picture of one of my little sneaky ones wrapped around a giant candy-cane, I would take offense if they said something negative about my serpent!
Cut me some slack, I KNOW I'm a little nuts, but WHO isn't? Unfortunately, I happen to be an expert in human behavior, a career path I chose and which I value highly. I say unfortunately only because as a result of my experience and education, I know what even the "nicest" one in the room is capable of. Most people don't. I have to because it's my job and even if it wasn't, I think I'd just rather know. But that makes me suspicious (somewhat) of where people are coming from in general and when someone lets their stuff hang out about negative feelings towards any animals, especially ones that protect them from vermin and disease and pestilence, then I outright don't trust them and choose not to like them either.
I'm more at home here on the cornsnake forum than on Facebook. I actually unsubscribed anyway (made my account inactive). I prefer Twitter for news and trends (just to keep tabs on what's happening because it's much more quick-paced) and will leave Facebook maybe until I retire or have too much time on my hands. As it is, life is much too short for Facebook and we're dead a long time! I prefer being here where at least I'm amongst people with something valuable in common, even if it's that ONE thing, caring for Corn snakes is one of my favorite hobbies (outside of running, skydiving, and writing! Did I mention sex? Probably not, as there may be members here who are underage!).
Thanx for letting me share!!! :crazy02:
Karl_Mcknight
Common Sense Holder
If a person takes the time to set it up properly, you don't have to see unwanted crap on Facebook.
You can arrange your contacts by Family, Acquaintances, Friends, Close Friends, Groups, etc.... and then post your comments to those individuals in specific arrangements and receive comments by the same way.
You can turn Notifications On or Off, customize various settings, who can comment on your posts and who can not, who can post directly on your page and who can not, and so on.
Yes it takes a little while to set it up, but once set you don't have to read stuff you're not interested in and you don't have to worry about annoying people posting on your page.
The most annoying part of Facebook I currently deal with the the Ads that bombard me every time I log on and unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that.
And I never "Like posts" just because somebody is a friend and I don't expect people to Like my posts either.
And 2 or 3 times a year I go through my "Friends List" and I have no problem Removing Folks that don't measure up to my Expectations as to how a friend is supposed to act.
Nobody is deserving or guaranteed of my friendship on facebook. The friends I have there I don't take lightly and if they do something or say something on my page that I don't like, I have every right to remove that post, ban them or delete them as I see fit.
You can arrange your contacts by Family, Acquaintances, Friends, Close Friends, Groups, etc.... and then post your comments to those individuals in specific arrangements and receive comments by the same way.
You can turn Notifications On or Off, customize various settings, who can comment on your posts and who can not, who can post directly on your page and who can not, and so on.
Yes it takes a little while to set it up, but once set you don't have to read stuff you're not interested in and you don't have to worry about annoying people posting on your page.
The most annoying part of Facebook I currently deal with the the Ads that bombard me every time I log on and unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that.
And I never "Like posts" just because somebody is a friend and I don't expect people to Like my posts either.
And 2 or 3 times a year I go through my "Friends List" and I have no problem Removing Folks that don't measure up to my Expectations as to how a friend is supposed to act.
Nobody is deserving or guaranteed of my friendship on facebook. The friends I have there I don't take lightly and if they do something or say something on my page that I don't like, I have every right to remove that post, ban them or delete them as I see fit.
DollysMom
It never gets old!
Sad thing is these two are important to me and I don't want to lose touch with them. So it appears I've made the decision for now to put up with their ophidio-issues for the love of their redeeming qualities and for old times sake (sigh).
I probably ticked them off today with my suggestion that they hide my "offensive" snake pics anyway. Maybe they got the hint. Stranger things have happened.
In the mean time, I've got three of the cutest and most precious scaley pets ever and all the good folks here in my life
I probably ticked them off today with my suggestion that they hide my "offensive" snake pics anyway. Maybe they got the hint. Stranger things have happened.
In the mean time, I've got three of the cutest and most precious scaley pets ever and all the good folks here in my life
axis1
Fuhgeddaboudit!!!!
. . .In the mean time, I've got three of the cutest and most precious scaley pets ever and all the good folks here in my life
And in a nutshell, that's all that counts! But as far as I'm concerned (and this is a personal issue & choice), I have enough REAL people in my life and too many things to do to get stuck over what anyone says or thinks. I really AM too busy for another branch of social media, so I'll just stick with you guys, Twitter, and a couple of career-related forums such as LinkedIn and a couple related to my professional organizations. Like I said before, life is short and you know the old saying:
Time Flies Like The Wind! And Fruit Flies Like Bananas!! :crazy02:
Oops! (Where's my damn Adderall? Or Ritalin? I really HAVE been unable to focus lately!) :eek1:
Dragonling
Doesn't do "casual"
I'd put money down on the fact you've already worked out that I'm an arrogant elitist snob. Maybe that's a bit redundant. Fitting, really. :laugh: It's a weakness, but I try to rein it in and even put it to some good use.
It's weird that now that I've added many snake keepers and breeders as friends and followed so many reptile groups that I have more obnoxious things in my feed than ever before. Seems there are quite a few staunch Trump supporters among animal enthusiasts. Not that I have any great love for the main opposition, mind you. I've yet to have my other friends (mostly coworkers, who already love or at least appreciate all types of pets, and weird internet gaming pals from days wasted on Blizzard franchises) make any off comments about any of my animals. Most either ignore them or toss a like or "Hey that's cool!" sort of comment. My family, particularly my evangelical father's side, would have quite a lot to say though. There's a good reason I don't use my last name on Facebook and use a decoy page with my real info.
axis1
Fuhgeddaboudit!!!!
Snobbiness is sometimes just a coping mechanism used in order for creative intelligence to be exercised without the need to be polite to people. That and a decoy page actually sounds pretty smart to me!
(Why be a beacon for negativity when you can just use your brain? I like that!) :crazy02: