Have you ever....

[Floof]

Oh that sounds so familiar! I do try to get along but I just don't actually want to be 'friends' with most people I meet. I don't recoil in horror when they tell me their hobby is watching soap operas and reality shows, that they haven't read a book since leaving school, that they go to the pub every weekend. I don't call them 'weird' for not having any pets and having married and stayed with their childhood sweetheart. Even though their lives sound nasty and odd to me I make the social effort.........and in return I get to be regarded as some sort of comedy turn. And not in an affectionate, accepting way.
Luckily the few real friends I have more than make up for it, I have a select group I really do care about ad who care about me. I'm old enough to know that I can be myself around my real friends and anyone else doesn't really matter to me.

My oh my do I know that. It doesn't matter if you're making an effort if the other people aren't. It didn't take longer than late 3rd/early 4th grade for me to learn that I may as well shut up and leave other people to their own devices. In that respect, I'm a loner. If someone talks to me, I'll make an effort to be social, but that's it.. I don't thrive on the contact, and, if I want to have a real conversation, I can just come here. =P

 

[diamondlil]

Oh yes, this place is a life-saver!

 

[wade]

I don't call them 'weird' for not having any pets and having married and stayed with their childhood sweetheart. Even though their lives sound nasty and odd to me I make the social effort..........

First of all I would like to mention that I have been married to SWMBO for 39 years. I was 19 when we married after a 4 year courtship. On our first date, my mother drove because I wasn't old enough to drive a car. So Back Off Janine.

But looking at the big picture, if someone doesn't want to be your friend because they don't like the kind of pets you keep, that has got to be a really shallow person. Not friend material to begin with.

On the other hand, if you are so focused on your snakes that you can’t talk about anything else, you may be considered somewhat boring.

I was at one time consumed with entomology. I would spend every available moment in the field collecting insects and when not collecting I was reading and studying insects. My friends got tired of hearing about the really neat butterfly I caught yesterday. We made an agreement, I wouldn’t talk about bugs if they wouldn’t talk about their d.mn horses. It works for us.

 

[Floof]

Lol... I almost said something about that comment, too, wade. My uncle is almost 60 and has been married to his high school sweetheart since she was legally old enough to marry. They were engaged before she graduated high school.

I think I'm one of those that's "so focused" on the snakes.. Which is why I'm glad my friends still put up with me, lol. I try to refrain from chattering on and on about how "Osiris shed!" or "Hansel is getting so big!" around them, but it's really hard not to, especially when there's never much to talk about, anyway.. =P

 

[ghosthousecorns]

LOL I kind of know where J9 is coming from though. Not that everyone who marries their high school sweet heart is a boring old fuddy duddy, but I do tend to steer away from people with these cookie cutter lives. You know, the ones who buy into the whole get married, settle down, have two kids, buy a house with a white picket fence, keep the same job all your life, never want anything else in life and call this the American dream. I just seem to have more in common with the job hoppers and drifters and find them more interesting!

 

[*salAMANDA88*]

I dont fit in anywhere.....
My family thinks I'm weird..and my friends..are used to it..

I'd jump from a moving vehical just to SEE a snake..or another Herp.
There are other things I could bring up..but today I am not into typing..
Just had to add my 2 cents.

:laugh:...

I think you'll fit in just swell here..



~~'manda:dancer:

 

[wade]

I know what you mean Jen. My wife and I were married for 9 years before our first child was born because we were having too much for to have kids. I’ve made 3 major career changes in my life and am now considering a 4th. My circle of friends includes bank presidents and unemployed mechanics. I tend to get bored easily. Luckily I married a girl that keeps me entertained.

 

[Michael823]

Good friends are really hard to find. I have a few friends, and even then we rarely see each other or hang out. I used to hang out with my friends every day, but some people grow up, some don't, and it's too much of a damper to waste time doing the same old thing. My best friend is easily my dog, and my reptiles come before any of my friends as well.
My reptiles are the last reason that my friends don't frequent my house as much, most of my friends actually like a tour when they visit, and it's a nice break from hearing some of what they have to say. I would rather hear a story about the mating behavior of Squid than half the stories my friends talk about. Since I have my own house, I would just rather just do things that will benefit my life, and not worry about rocky friendships.
Most of my friends are into their early twenties, and way too old to be doing the same things they did as teenagers. I'm just too grown up to waste any time experiencing any of the stupid stuff they do, and would rather do my own thing.
You're not a misfit, some people are just desperate to fit in, even when they seem too old to care. I thought this would be the time of my life where my friends would grow up a little and realize how hard it is to find true friends, but they haven't and I couldn't be happier to not be a part of it. Sometimes I get upset thinking about how fake some friends can be, but then I realize that most people aren't worth a dime, and I focus on my own life, and try to live better.

 

[Hypancistrus]

Oh that sounds so familiar! I do try to get along but I just don't actually want to be 'friends' with most people I meet.

Yeah, I hear you. I never went through a phase in my life where going out to bars and getting drunk sounded appealing. In fact, though my students refuse to believe this, I have never in my life been truly drunk. I have been pleasantly buzzed, but can count on one hand the number of times I've gone even that far with alcohol. I just have always had other things I'd rather spend my money on than drinking. In my experience, with people my age (20's and early 30's) this is a foreign and unbelievable concept.

First of all I would like to mention that I have been married to SWMBO for 39 years... So Back Off Janine.

I don't think Janine necessarily meant that statement the way it was interpreted here. I have met people who married their "high school sweethearts" and are still fantastically in love years later. I have also met people who married their HS sweethearts for the wrong reason (i.e. pregnancy) and hate each other and are miserable years later. Happens both ways!

But looking at the big picture, if someone doesn't want to be your friend because they don't like the kind of pets you keep, that has got to be a really shallow person. Not friend material to begin with.

Yup!

We made an agreement, I wouldn’t talk about bugs if they wouldn’t talk about their d.mn horses. It works for us.

Ha ha ha! Too funny!

Since I have my own house, I would just rather just do things that will benefit my life, and not worry about rocky friendships.
Most of my friends are into their early twenties, and way too old to be doing the same things they did as teenagers.

At this point in my life, not much shocks me, but I was shocked by a coworker the day before school let out. It was a Thursday and she is in her 40's and I said I was looking forward to going home and seeing my girl and getting some sleep before the last day. She then said she was going out to get trashed and was hoping to do the same thing the next day. I found myself thinking... um... wow! I didn't know we were still in college, but say hi to the teenagers when you're there. I have another coworker that insists on telling me every gory detail of her sex life (most of which is NOT with her husband) and I always feel like banging my head into a desk. Do I give any indication that I WANT to be hearing this??! :nope:

 

[MinLynn]

Wanna hear how shallow the people we called "friends" were? Matt and I have been together now for nearly 8 years. We decided to get married back in 2004 on New Year's Eve. We wanted the symbolization of beginning our new life behind it blah blah blah! Anyway we knew the wedding would be small and we had RSVPs for nearly 100 people. We were not having a reception but were having a dinner and of course a cake cutting. So everything was set up for 100 guests. Guess how many people showed up? 30! 30 out of 100! Wanna know why? Because they had parties to go to and we weren't having alcohol at the dinner because it was being held at the church and you're not allowed. That's when we just gave up. We quit talking to people and just stuck to ourselves and our kids.

That kind of changed when I found this place. I've "met" tons of people who understand our hobbies and interests. I enjoy talking on her more than I enjoy the occasional phone call I may get from someone. And I'm not sad about that at all!

By the way........Herp Hollow sounds pretty for a name,too! Or Herp Haven!

 

[Michael823]

Guess how many people showed up? 30! 30 out of 100! Wanna know why? Because they had parties to go to and we weren't having alcohol at the dinner because it was being held at the church and you're not allowed. That's when we just gave up. We quit talking to people and just stuck to ourselves and our kids.

Same thing for my 21st birthday. I have no problem with people who occasionally drink, smoke, etc.. But the fun's taken out when you grow up and have responsibilities, and realize that the only joy it brings is temporary and artificial. I chose not to drink on my 21st birthday, and I was proud that I didn't, but it really stinks that no one showed up. Those who did show up left by 7pm, so I just pigged out on all of the snacks I prepared by myself. I spent the evening snacking and playing Frisbee with the dog, but came to be happy that I could have a peaceful birthday with no one there to entertain.
It's too bad about your wedding too, they should be there to celebrate your happiness, and it's a small sacrifice not to drink. I have to go to my step sister's wedding in a few weeks, and although I'm not a fan of the whole drinking scene, I'm still going to go. It's about showing support and sharing in her happiness, I'll just leave once the ceremonies over, and people can do as they please.

 

[fu1bar3]

YOU all are awsome.

The few "friends" I do have accept me for my animal loverness.. And I dont talk about it all the time, but when I dont talk about it I usually dont have anything to say.. lol My one friend and I will take trips to the bigger city and I go in the book store for her and she will let me go in the pet store... so that works.

There are so many sharing moments on this thread that it brought me almost to tears. I never thought when I started this that .... well.. that we all seem to have this comon feeling.

And although I more/less lurk and dont comment alot, and dont have any close friends on here... I keep comming back cause this is where I FEEL LIKE I FIT THE MOST.

Thank you for that!!

 

[diamondlil]

Wade I certainly didn't mean to offend you or anyone else who's married and happy! I probably didn't think enough about what I wanted to say. My best friend (since we were 11 years old) is still with the man she met at 17, so I do have a best friend in a conventional relationship who I couldn't imagine my ife without! I certainly don't discriminate against people unless they offend the heck out of me first, I've got friends who are gay, straight, single, married, but they are real friends who don't expect me to be just like them.

 

[Floof]

YOU all are awsome.

The few "friends" I do have accept me for my animal loverness.. And I dont talk about it all the time, but when I dont talk about it I usually dont have anything to say.. lol My one friend and I will take trips to the bigger city and I go in the book store for her and she will let me go in the pet store... so that works.

There are so many sharing moments on this thread that it brought me almost to tears. I never thought when I started this that .... well.. that we all seem to have this comon feeling.

And although I more/less lurk and dont comment alot, and dont have any close friends on here... I keep comming back cause this is where I FEEL LIKE I FIT THE MOST.

Thank you for that!!

I bet that's a feeling all of us have in common--lurkers and big-time contributors alike! I'm also one who's more prone to just read and not comment, but I feel more comfortably at peace with the community here than I do... Gosh, more than with my two best friends a lot of the time! =o

I'm going to have to join you in that "Thank you". I love and am unbelievably grateful for this place and its community. I never expected to gain a bundle of (dare I say it?) real friends when I decided to google corn snake care... =)