How do you guys feel....?

[v_various]

I wasn't even going out with other 15 year olds when I was 15, let alone 20 year olds. Let her be the kid she is for a few more years!

Also, saying she "hates school and can't cope" is a strong indicator she is *not*mature, a mature person would maturely deal with peer problems (I sure as heck did), boring classes (creative writting, ugh) and the hard classes (math 11, ouch). A mature person would know how important school is to their future, and deal with it. I think you may just be seeing what you want too see here.

And while we're on the topic of opinions (remember, you asked for it) she is a teenager! She has been a teenager for like, 3 years! You are 20!! EWWWW! Ya, since 'nothing is going to happen' I say let nothing happen for a few years, until she is ready for a relationship in *every* aspect.

 

[Susielea]

I think I am probably an exception going by the comments already made. So take this for whatever it's worth :shrugs:

I was 14 yrs old when I met my Husband, who at the time was 21 yrs old.
We started courting when I was 15 and by this time, I was running a house and taking care of my younger brother, because my Dad had to work all the hours he could to provide for us, as my natural Mother died when I was 9 yrs old. Maybe I was mature beyond my age, I finished school a year and a half ahead of my peers, with flying colours in exams. Hubby was working a full time job and was still living at home, which was quite normal back in the '70's

We got married when I was 18 yrs old and have been married for 25 years this July, we've been together 29 yrs in September, and we still like each other, as well as Love each other and yes he's here as I type this We have two wonderful grown children who have now both left home and are making lives for themselves.

As I said, I am probably an exception, but I just had to chime in to point out that, sometimes young love does work out, but it will always depend on the individuals involved. I don't know a single person from around that time, late 70's early 80's, that are still with the partner that they had back then, perhaps we were brought up with different values, I don't know :shrugs: Todays disposable society astounds me sometimes.

PS. The legal age to consumate a relationship in England is 16 yrs old, and I was well beyond legal before anything happened.

 

[carolinacorn69]

I think I am probably an exception going by the comments already made. So take this for whatever it's worth :shrugs:

I was 14 yrs old when I met my Husband, who at the time was 21 yrs old.
We started courting when I was 15 and by this time, I was running a house and taking care of my younger brother, because my Dad had to work all the hours he could to provide for us, as my natural Mother died when I was 9 yrs old. Maybe I was mature beyond my age, I finished school a year and a half ahead of my peers, with flying colours in exams. Hubby was working a full time job and was still living at home, which was quite normal back in the '70's

We got married when I was 18 yrs old and have been married for 25 years this July, we've been together 29 yrs in September, and we still like each other, as well as Love each other and yes he's here as I type this We have two wonderful grown children who have now both left home and are making lives for themselves.

As I said, I am probably an exception, but I just had to chime in to point out that, sometimes young love does work out, but it will always depend on the individuals involved. I don't know a single person from around that time, late 70's early 80's, that are still with the partner that they had back then, perhaps we were brought up with different values, I don't know :shrugs: Todays disposable society astounds me sometimes.

PS. The legal age to consumate a relationship in England is 16 yrs old, and I was well beyond legal before anything happened.

Like you say, it depends on the people.
None of you know what we're like together. Yes, she may be 15, but, its just a number. As soon as you hear 15 you automatically think little kid but she really isnt.
I really want to make a go of it and if she decides to move on in the future so be it. At least we'll of been together and had some happy times.

And when I say cant cope with school. I mean her "friends" who "do" behave like little kids. Shes way above them. And as far as getting good grades, shes doing her exams now and getting nothing lower than a B in all of them. Even a few A*'s.
You'd need to see us together before you could pass judgement.

 

[diamondlil]

Honestly, I think respecting your friend's age, in terms that she might want to do A levels and go away to university, that she may well outgrow you in the next few years, would be the best thing, IMO.
You worry about how it looks? Then don't play with fire. Be a real friend. If you are meant to end up together, you will, but let her grow her own way.
Perhaps I see it from a different perspective, if a 20yr old woman was hanging around my 16yr old boy (no matter how delighted he might be), I'd probably go postal. In fact there's no probably about it.

 

[Jcapicy]

My favorite quote so far!!!

"most 15 yo girls a mature for there age"

this is an impossible statement!

if the mojority of 15 yr olds are mature(period.) than how can it be for their age?
its the same as saying only a few 15 yr olds are immature, when we can probably reach a mojority agreement that most of them are not, no matter how articulate they are.

 

[Corny Noob]

Like you say, it depends on the people.
None of you know what we're like together. Yes, she may be 15, but, its just a number. As soon as you hear 15 you automatically think little kid but she really isnt.
[etc etc]
You'd need to see us together before you could pass judgement.

Then don't ask what we think about it. :shrugs:

As for me I'm on the fence on this subject. I think age matters at this age bracket.
But here I am engaged to the father of my child who is 9 years and 3 months my senior...

 

[Weebonilass]

Then don't ask what we think about it. :shrugs:

As for me I'm on the fence on this subject. I think age matters at this age bracket.
But here I am engaged to the father of my child who is 9 years and 3 months my senior...

But you are in your 20s and not just 15! Of course, depending on the state you are living in, if you were 15 and had Connor, you soontobehusband would be sitting in jail


Back to the orginial OP... would you rather have a friend or an ex-girlfriend? Most people aren't on friendly terms with their exs... also depending on the break-up, it will almost guaranteely tarnish if not end your relationship with her family... if you break it off, they wouldn't have a thing to do with you because you broke her heart... if she breaks it off, they may feel guilty that she broke your heart, but they will side with her because she is their daughter...

so you stand to lose the cool friend and the close relationship with her family... is it really worth it? I know when I had to make a decision, I preferred to have two good friends, instead of an ex-best friend and an ex-boyfiriend. No they weren't dating, but she really, really, really liked him and it would have affected our relationship. It wasn't worth it. Just a thought