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Leopard Geckos And Hiding Pets From Parents

C

CaseyUndead

New member
Ok. Firstly, i love my parents(and they're great parents, don't get me wrong) but they pretty much hate everything i'm interested in(i wear too much black, i have too many piercings, i talk about snakes and lizards too much, i dress too much like a boy, i'm too liberal, etc.), and this includes keeping reptiles as pets.. which i've recently become sort of semi-obsessed with. And i'm most likely going to be stuck living with them for around four more years(just starting college this coming fall.. and i seriously doubt that i'll be able to get enough money to get my own place until i at least have a bachelor's degree...). So, i figure that i should just stop asking them to let me get things, and instead whenever i have the money i'll just get whatever it is i want and not tell them. They did get me my snake, because i wouldn't leave them alone about wanting a snake.. but they've basically said "that's the only reptile you can have". Trying to talk to them about things just doesn't end up getting me anywhere, in this issue or others. I think this is what i need to do in order to be my own person, not ask for their approval. Anyway, enough with all the drama, i know i'm starting to sound like an angsty teenager here.

So... To the point. For quite awhile now i've liked the thought of having some lizards.. I mainly have always liked the bigger ones like Igs or Beardies. But i've also thought that Leos were pretty neat. Now, the big lizards would definitely not be that easy to hide from my parents.. But a Leo seems pretty perfect. A single leo should only require a 10gal tank and they only eat bugs like crickets and mealies(which i already have to get for my spider anyway, so i wouldn't have to get anything other than what i already have to get, just in bigger quantity... aside from some lizard vitamins). I already have a heat lamp that i'm not using, too. So i *think* i might be able to work this out.

So, has anyone here tried to keep any of their pets secret from other people in their household? And does anyone have any ideas for keeping something like a gecko without anyone noticing? My mom does come into my room sometimes.. but doesn't usually look through my stuff. I have a pretty messy room, and happen to have a few things like boxes and stuff in there that i think might just be big enough for a 10gal tank to hide in.

Oh, and if i were to, say, go out of town for a few days, would it be fine to leave enough crickets or mealworms in there for the amount of time i'll be gone(as long as i don't make a habit of doing that)? I go on vacations with my dad and sister sometimes, and since i won't be able to ask mom to take care of a pet she won't know about.. i'll need to figure out some way to make sure it's got food.
 
To be honest, I think it's irresponsible as a pet owner to be hiding animals from your parents. I say that because of the sole reason to a 'what if' question.

What if your parents find out you have a leo? What happens to the gecko? Are you then forced to find a home for it right away because you've lied to your parents and gotten something against their wishes?

Personally, I'd encourage you to get a job and move out. Find a few friends and rent an apartment. I was able to rent an apartment my 2nd year at Florida State and the rent per person was $266.67 a month. Working 20 hours a week would easily allow you to come up with enough money to pay for rent.
 
If you would like to have a lizard... move out and get one. Hiding them from your parents is not the way to have a good smooth healthy relationship.

You may find yourself having to move out on bad terms instead of moving out on your own terms.

My advice... get a nice picture of one. Put it on your wall, screensaver, desktop, etc..

When you have your own place... get a fork tongued friend.

Being disobedient to the people who are footing the bill for your room and board is not part of being your own person... it is disrespectful and rude.

It is not worth the possible trouble... on top of the being dishonest part.


Just my .02
 
The thing about moving out is that you've got your freedom, but you don't really have enough money for groceries, much less pets.

The thing about staying at your parents' house is that you have enough money for groceries, and some extra to spend on frivolities like pets, but you don't have any freedom to get them.

Your choice.

Sneaking in pets is not something the adult you want your parents to recognize you as would do.
 
The thing about moving out is that you've got your freedom, but you don't really have enough money for groceries, much less pets.

The thing about staying at your parents' house is that you have enough money for groceries, and some extra to spend on frivolities like pets, but you don't have any freedom to get them.

Your choice.

Sneaking in pets is not something the adult you want your parents to recognize you as would do. I didn't get piercings or tattoos when I lived at my parents' house. I waited until I moved out for college for that.
 
I agree with the posters above me. Hiding animals from your parents isn't a good thing to do. To me it shows disrespect. Your parents may be harsh about keeping reptiles and so on, but they provide you with a roof over your head and have done for the last 19 years... it's their house and their wishes should be respected.

Try telling your parents that you'll do something in return for another reptile. Tell them you'll get a job and pay them a little rent, or you'll start doing small jobs around the home. Showing responsibility is the way forward here IMO. :wavey:
 
Yeah... Whatever... Maybe i could get a place with a minumum wage job.. but whenever i've brought up moving out on my own my parents just say "yeah, well how are you going to afford an apartment AND electricity, food, taxes, and transportation?", so they've been giving me the impression that i'm trapped here until i get a job that pays well... I don't know how they'll take it when i get a job and move out when currently i can't go anywhere without telling them EVERYWHERE i go. If i decide i want to go for a walk, and it's too dark outside, they won't LET me.

I'm legally an adult, and they still disaprove of everything i want to do. Other kids go out and party and drink and do crazy behind their parents' backs.. And i'm one of the few people who tries to be upfront with my parents about everything, but i've figured out now that that isn't worth it.. And everytime i try to talk to them about anything, much more than just the pet issue, i just end up aggravating them.. So when i try to do any little thing behind their back to save them the aggravation and to grab the tiniest bit of freedom, apparently i'm being disrespectful. Yeah. Well, i don't like lying to my parents.. But i see doing things like this as being much more respectful than how most other kids are. Or maybe i should just be like everyone else, and CONSTANTLY lie to my parents about where i'm going and who i'm with, and sneak out at night. Everything i want to do is "stupid". Everytime i so much as buy a shirt i have to put up with my parents telling me that i shouldn't dress like a guy. I could even get my hair cut shorter than my shoulders until i turned 18!!! And then today i mention that when i get some extra money i'd like to maybe get some tattoos, my parents just say NO and that i shouldn't spend my money on stupid things. Yeah, my sister can buy video games or whatever, but since what i like isn't something they like they say i can't because it's stupid.. And according to dad today the only reason i want to get tattoos or anything is because i must hate him. Yeah. Well, if i just stop telling them about these things beforehand and just go do them, then they won't know, so they won't have a chance to think it's because i hate them or because i want to make them mad, because i DON'T want to. Yes, i tell my parents almost everything.. but they don't support most of the things i like, so when i want to do a little something here and there for myself that makes me a horrible horrible dishonest person, apparently.

And, no, if they found out then i wouldn't be forced to give it away. Even if it is their house, i'm not a child and they have NO right to mess with my property. I wouldn't want to do this if i was still under 18.. But i feel that i deserve some more rights here, and shouldn't HAVE to tell them everything nowadays. I should be able to go get something i want to buy without having to let them know about it, if it's not something that's going to affect them. Most people my age, and younger, do(and worse). My parents don't need to know every little thing i do. I do need SOME freedom, don't i?

Whatever.. i just thought maybe someone could relate in some little way. Guess not. Bleh.
 
You want someone to relate to you?

Let's see....I lived at home with my mother until about a year AFTER I graduated from college. I worked on average two jobs while going to school at any given time, as well as freelance gigs here and there. Even so, I did the math, and saw that I could not move out (while in school) without having at least a couple roomates (I live in So Cal...it's stupid expensive here). I'm a person her likes her privacy, so I opted to stay home, where the only bills I had to worry about were my cell and auto insurance.

Our place wasn't that big, and my mom wasn't big on pets. I was able to talk her into a few odds and ends....a little ringneck snake at one point....after that, a millipeed...but more than one thing at a time, or anything subsantial in size (or anything even remotely resembling a spider) was a definite no. It sucks...but even though I was 18-23 at the time...even though I was an ADULT...it was her home. She paid the bills, she made the rules.

Put it in perspective. Lets say you own a home someday. A friend is down on their luck, and you let them live in your spare room for free. They want to get a.... lion. Heh. You say no, because it would endanger you and your "family". They say "Well, I'm an adult, I'm going to get one anyways". You better believe you'd make them rehome it, or kick them right out, and you'd have every right to...even though it's "their" property.

Hell, even once I moved out, I got a place with my boyfriend, and I still can't have everything I want. He doesn't want a ton of animals in the house. And we split the bills 50/50....so the place is as much his as mine. It would be wrong and disrespectful for me to bring things into the house he wasn't okay with, and vice versa. With alot of pestering, I now have three beautiful snakes and a tarantula...but EVERYTHING was with his okay. It's just fair. It's all about comprimise. ;)
 
Your parents have programmed you to think you can't live without them. They're wrong. Its difficult to live on your own at first, but you can do it. Maybe college needs to wait for a year or two until you get established in your own apartment. Its your life and you need to prioritize. If living by your parent's rules is too much, then move out. I believe you can do it if you think before you act and make successful plans to go for it. In the meantime, you can spend your money on what you want. You're an adult, get a tattoo if you can afford it. Its your body and no matter how much your parents don't like it, they don't have the power to stop you. You are an adult. Be one. Show them you can do things on your own. They are trying to keep you as a child, but they can't have it both ways. You need to grow up and become an adult and they need to let you. This sounds like its going to be a rocky time in your house as you unfurl your wings more and more until you realise you can fly. I strongly advise you to not lie or sneak things into the house because its not yours, and you should be adult enough to show respect for your parent's rules. I'm sure you feel no one understands you, but you know what? We were all your age before you were and we lived through it. Everybody has been in your shoes to a degree and we can sympathise, but looking back, we can see things about this situation that maybe you can't because you're too involved in it. Just relax and think about what you do before you do it. I believe you can make it on your own.
 
I guess I'm what you can call the nail that hasn't been hammered...I kind of agree with you..but at the same time I agree with what the others have said...I agree with you that you should get some more rights and calls about your life, you should definitely tell your parents that choices like clothing, tatoos, peircings are all your decision since you are the one that will be wearing them..IMO you should sit them down and talk to them about getting some more freedom, work out a compromise with them and let them know how you feel. Trust me I know how hard and stubborn parents can be. You just need to explain to them that some choices you make, they may not always agree with..but they are your choices and those are choices that are going to make you who YOU are..Everyone's choices make up who they are..If we didn't have choices and all had the same mind set and same way of thinking we wouldn't be individuals..Getting a job isn't a bad idea either..It would show your parents that you are trying to be responsible..I mean you being in college is already a great achievment and I am sure they are proud of you for it. Offering to pay for some things here and there is also a good building block for more freedom..Your dad lets you borrow the car..put some gas in it..You want to go to the movies..pay for it yourself..Treat mom to lunch sometime just to show you care, offer to pay for some of the groceries..little things can speak wonders in times of disputes...Now for the thorny part of me..

I don't really see a badness in having a small lizard as a pet that your parents don't know about..as long as you don't have to get rid of it if they were to discover it..I am glad that you are aware that an iguana and a beardie are kind of out of the question right now..but I don't really see a problem with a small gecko..Just as long as you don't get the idea of building a mass lizard breeding ground in your closet..Other then that..I think it shouldn't be such a big issue. But the choice is solely yours..I'm not even saying this is the best choice to make..I'm just giving my own personal opinion..I'm not saying it is right nor wrong..good luck in whatever you choose.
 
Well they think that if i live in their house, then that means they have total control over everything i do.

Pets, tattoos, whatever. It's all the same to them. If i live in their house, they think it's their decision to make.

And, about the lion thing.. That is quite different. A lion affects the rest of the household, a gecko(that the others wouldn't even KNOW about) doesn't affect anyone other than me. I do see where you're coming from, though. Honestly, i'd much rather have a kid who sneaks a little pet that i never even have to see into the house than have a kid who sneaks out to go parties and do drugs. If it was a pet that would affect them or their house, this wouldn't be something i would be thinking about.
 
But, yes, i have been trying to get a job. It's just not going well. Most people want to hire people who have work experience. And since i'm limiting myself to not doing any kind of fast food or grocery store type things(was a cashier at a grocery store, because my mom pushed me into taking the job. Quit on the second day because the whole time i was shaking and getting panic attacks) it's hard. Only had two people call me in for interviews so far.. and i didn't hear back from either of them.
 
CaseyUndead said:
Well they think that if i live in their house, then that means they have total control over everything i do.

Pets, tattoos, whatever. It's all the same to them. If i live in their house, they think it's their decision to make.

And, about the lion thing.. That is quite different. A lion affects the rest of the household, a gecko(that the others wouldn't even KNOW about) doesn't affect anyone other than me. I do see where you're coming from, though. Honestly, i'd much rather have a kid who sneaks a little pet that i never even have to see into the house than have a kid who sneaks out to go parties and do drugs. If it was a pet that would affect them or their house, this wouldn't be something i would be thinking about.
Click to expand...

Heh...yes, my annalogy was a tad extreme. But lets say I had try to sneak in a little tarantula into my mom's house. Sure, it's harmless and tiny and doesn't really "effect" anything or anyone. But she was horribly arachnaphobic, and had the thing gotten loose, she would have had a mild heart attack. Even knowing it was in it's cage would have kept her up at night. It would have been wrong for me to sneak one into her home.

Trust me...I was totally the kid with the dyed red hair, and largely black wardrobe. Parents weren't thrilled about that. And yes, it is wrong of them to try and control how you dress and such. But...it's their house. Your options are to talk to them and get them to see things your way...maybe get a parttime job to offer and help out with bills. Otherwise, all you can do is move. You are an adult...you have that right.
 
Maize411 said:
I don't really see a badness in having a small lizard as a pet that your parents don't know about..as long as you don't have to get rid of it if they were to discover it..
Click to expand...
That's basically why i think a gecko would be fine. I wouldn't even consider an animal like a dog or an iguana to get behind their backs. We have lizards almost as big as geckos around here(anoles and skinks) who sneak into the house now and then... And that doesn't affect their lives at all. And in a small way, doing little things like that makes me feel more free(like when i got another ear piercing that i didn't tell them about, and they never even noticed it. that was seven months ago...).. feeling like i don't have to tell my parents EVERYTHING about what i do all the time, if it's something that only affects me.

The food doesn't affect them any more, because i'm already feeding the same food to my spider, which they okayed..
Lizard doesn't affect them, because even in the off chance that it got out.. They would't be able to tell the difference between it and the huge number of anoles and skinks that live in our yard and occasionally get in the house.
 
My mom is a little afraid of all reptiles and amphibians.

But, again.. The gecko wouldn't scare her any more than all these other lizards that live in our yard. There was even a big frog in our kitchen the other day. We live in the woods, basically.

And my dad the other day killed a ringneck snake because he thought it was a copperhead. So, trust me, my parents can NOT tell the difference between different kinds of snakes or lizards.. If it got out, she'd think it came from outside.
 
I'm not just thoughtlessly trying to sneak something into their house. I'm only considering it because i know that it wouldn't cause the slightest bit of difference in their lives. They used to let us catch lizards outside and bring them in for a few days and them let them go.. And now they won't let me have a gecko. I mainly just think that they're being unreasonable and crazy. I'm a logical person, and i fail to see any kind of logic in how they think.

Another example... "If you want a tattoo, then you must really hate me". Okay. I like tattoos. Dad doesn't. Therefore, that means i hate my dad? Yeah, okay, that makes A LOT OF sense...
 
But, now that i've calmed down from that little argument(it's what happens whenever i try to give them that talk about me being my own person and being an adult...), i don't think i'll really get one behind their back, it depends.. I will try to get them to acknowledge their flawed logic... and maybe reach some sort of compromise.
 
I would not attempt to hide any reptile from your parent, you should respect your parents choice for you not to have more then one reptile, maybe they have a fear of reptiles they just don't want to say it because it will embarrass them, i know that sounds a little stupid but its possible, the best way for you to get another reptile would be not to go against them and hide one but be extra nice to them and then eventually I'm sure between themselves they will talk about letting you have another one.. I also wear (lots of black) makeup and w/e I have only ever had a issue with my dad, my mums boyfriend does not seem to mind neather does my mum they are very understanding.. I really do feel though that if i was to go against my parents in anyway they would not let me wear the things I do.. I'm more of a mature teen personally, I never used to be at first but now Ive got a good understanding of the world and a good respect for the countryside... just try not to go against your parents in the long run it will not be good.
 
I don't think anyone is saying you shouldn't have ANY freedom. There's a huge difference between expressing yourself freely and actually going against a parent who says NO.

If you're that unhappy with your parents, then why not get a job and try and save to move out? You're an adult and you can take responsibility for your own future. As regards the gecko, the more animals you have now the less free money you will have for your own place. You feel that your parents don't respect you, but you need to respect them too if you want it reciprocated. To be treated like an adult you need to act like one, and to me sneaking in animals behind your mum's back isn't very mature.

Hope I don't sound mean, it's not my intention. I'm actually trying to help. You seem to think you're trapped with your parents, but you're not. Really. :)
 
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