One more corn lover!

[Amelavender]

I'd like to go and spend time with the dogs locked up, but they stay so hyper and have untrimmed claws. I don't get along with the indoor dogs who are hyper too. I come in the door after working at the shop and get "mauled". Grace tried to bite my pocket book, Lily tried pouncing on my back, and Maggie barks and nips. Mom says just give them attention and they'll settle down. No, then they'll get jealous because I can't pet them all at the same time and try to climb in my lap. When one is calm, I can pet it if the others don't notice. If only I could get one on one time without the other dogs. My six year old stepsister plays with them, and gets them more hyper, and she can't play without being loud. I love them all, but there just too much.

Apparently we have to always keep breeding dogs because it keeps us from the poor house. I think that's just mom being over dramatic. But if that's true, each time a dog gets too old to breed I hope we find them homes and mom doesn't find a reason to keep them. Grace can't be rehomed, mom says Maggie and Masada have too many issues to rehome, and Lily is mom's personal dog. That leaves two that can be rehomed.

I know these posts are probably considered off topic... So I'll throw in something about Jack. He likes furry things like hair, the fox pelt in my bed, and he tries to go to the cat. Does this relate to a burrowing instinct? Also, I know he can hear me. Snakes have internal ears.

Do any of you know anything about ball pythons? My friend has one and she whistles when she breathes. Is this a respiratory infection? What causes it? How do you cure it? What's funny is that she likes breathing in ears, so she often startles me with her whistling. I may love Jack, but Zoey is an awesome BP.

 

[Dreamsnake]

Whistling is a sign of a respiratory infection, she should get that checked out. Mine, Titus, sticks his nose under the water when he drinks and sneezes. He also sneezes when he gets closer to a shed. I don't think he has an infection, because he doesn't sneeze when he's sleeping, or chilling out. Titus presses his nose against my ear and flickers his tongue. It tickles like crazy, but he has two coils around my neck so I live with it.

My snakes get still when the cat walks around, like they "play branch." Corns live in underbrush areas, so they are drawn to cover like our hair and blankets.

You would make a good candidate for the Dogs Whisperer. You shouldn't give a dog attention until after he settles down. Your mom has taught the dogs to maul people for affection. My husband's mother did some dog breeding years ago when he was in school. He's told me how much work it was when one of the bitches refused to care for the nine pups and everyone was on round the clock bottle duty.

Have you set up an appointment with the advisor yet?

 

[Amelavender]

I've met with one last year I think. I don't really know if it was a college advisor or what, but she talked about classes, help available, and stuff. I'm also seeing a person who gets socially awkward folks like me jobs.

You mean Cesar Milan should help my dogs? I've thought about that a lot. It'd be more helping us as the owners.

Only Maggie had that problem, but only briefly. She had a c-section and it confused her never going through the birthing process. It didn't take her long to realize they were her puppies.

Funny, there's a guy on the animal hoarding show who hoards mastiffs. Twelve. We have half that.

 

[Dreamsnake]

Advisors come to speak with students in High School. I'm socially awkward as well, I have an uncle and a cousin who are autistic. My uncle has done wonderfully with his life, he even owns his own business. My cousin has a far more serious case, she responds to some people, but mostly lives in her own world. I think I've only met seven people in my life who didn't have some form of psychosis, disability, or issue. If they aren't born with it, they develop the problems themselves somehow. You are far from alone in the world. Taking Life Studies classes will help you so much, especially since you will be in a classroom environment dealing with peers and instructors, instead of the mean natured public. I've worked customer service jobs my entire life, that's what drove me to animals. I prefer animals to people.

 

[Amelavender]

To me, classrooms ARE the mean natured public. Mom says the folks I knew will be mature by then. No, some people never mature and are always jerks. Like my stepdad. And he's 60 something, so there's no hope for him maturing, but maybe for getting dementia and forgetting he hates me. That would be nice.

My friend's mom said the snake wasn't whistling anymore. I don't know, because it's been a while since I've been to his house because his mom home schools him and he's doing end of grade stuff. But I plan to go to his house soon because an old friend of mine moved in with them. And I got to get the games they borrowed back too.

 

[Dreamsnake]

The last year of high school was like that for me. I abandoned social interaction and concentrated on improving my grades. I had run away from home the summer before and was anorexic for four years by then. I graduated with my class, but I had to take extra hours and night school. I am proud of myself. A year later the anorexia problem was nearly over (I was consistently eating three small meals a day and I was back on meat) so I started college for the first time. Ten years later I'm back for my third shot at getting a degree.

I've reconnected with many of my old high school friends who drifted away. Everyone I knew had their own difficulties and they're all just people doing their best to make sense of the world learning their own lessons in the process.

Try not to let the harsh things people say or do effect you or the way you see the world. Everyone goes through a cruel stage in development, if not to themselves (as I did) then to others. Do the best for yourself at all times, sometimes that entails forgiving yourself and others.

 

[VickyChaiTea]

Mom isn't as bad as that...

However, he doesn't have a good life. He's locked up in a little room with an elderly boxer and only sees people when it's time for food or bathroom time. They are in there because they are destructive...

But locked up in that room all the time, he became hyper more than usual. The boxer started losing weight drastically....

Then we have an old rabbit in a smelly cage who gets no attention by the six year old who outgrew him...

I'm sorry... but I absolutely have to address this. First off I would like to say that I am not mad at you, I'm upset and concerned by what I'm hearing about your mother.

Your mother is neglecting her animals. Plain and simple. A rabbits cage should not be constantly smelly, they absolutely need time outside of that cage, and their diet should involve daily vegetables and hays.

Why do I get the feeling that the conure is being kept in a cage smaller than 40” x 30” x 45”? Is it being fed fresh fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes, and a pelleted or seed diet DAILY? Does it get 3+ hours outside of the cage DAILY? Is it's cage packed full of toys? Based on what you've said so far, my bet is no no and no.

She is neglecting her dogs mental needs. A dog should never EVER be locked in a room, any room, all day. They need to be exercised. They need an owner who knows at least a tiny bit about dog behavior, an owner that can deal with most behavioral problems they have. All the problems you mentioned usually stem from BOREDOM, a lack of a human in control, and anxiety... all of which can be remedied with some effort. Has she even TRIED to fix their behavioral issues? Has she considered hiring a dog trainer to help her?

The fact that she was so reluctant to even attempt to give the snakes the bare minimum care required tells me that she should not be the one dictating their care.

Frankly I she should re-home the rabbit, bird, some of the dogs, and leave the snakes to you. If you can, try to have someone talk to her about the way she's treating her animals because it is NOT acceptable.

I honestly think it would be best for now for you to work on improving the conditions for the animals already in your house, rather than getting another corn and trying to breed them.

^This times a thousand. How do you plan on housing the babies you'd get from your first clutch anyway, if your mom doesn't want many cages in the house?

 

[Amelavender]

The animals get none of those things. Not much anyways. I am afraid of confronting my mother. Correcting anything she does, even nicely, even over minor things such as she's typing a letter and I correct her spelling. She acts like it offends her intelligence for her child to correct her. I've told her to rehome the rabbit, but she says he's too old. The bird has bonded to her and is violent when other people are around, biting and clawing at whatever is around him. The dog without a lower jaw is "too much for someone to handle" and the dog who recovered from renal failure is "putting unwanted expenses on someone else". That's her excuses. She once tried to convince me I was taking horrible care of my snake. She said I starved him and should give him to someone who will feed him. I fed him every two weeks, sometimes feeding sooner than later. He was on no set schedule because wild snakes don't eat on a regular basis. And it was winter. Now I feed
him every week because she thinks that is good for him. She says it makes him happy. Food makes anyone happy, and that is why there is obesity.

Jack bit me for the first time. He didn't mean to, of course. Mom has him spoiled. He won't eat unless the thawed mouse is dangled in the air. He doesn't like the tongs, they are cold and scare him. When I first got him I didn't have to do that. With any animal, you shouldn't let it do something when it's young if you don't want it doing it when it's grown. She doesn't think he can ever have big enough fangs to hurt. There's a big difference between a nip and a bite meant for food. Jack likes mauling his dead food. He coils around it and tries ripping into it. He did that to my hand today. It's comical now, of course. Even funnier when he realized he wasn't chomping on a mouse and let go and looked around and saw his mouse was still where he dropped it. He won't eat it if it's just laying there. First he nudges it, then he looks at me. So today I used the tongs to pick it up, so he can get used to them. If he ends up refusing the tongs, and keeps dropping his mice, I'll make mom do it since its her fault.

 

[starsevol]

The animals get none of those things. Not much anyways. I am afraid of confronting my mother. Correcting anything she does, even nicely, even over minor things such as she's typing a letter and I correct her spelling. She acts like it offends her intelligence for her child to correct her. I've told her to rehome the rabbit, but she says he's too old. The bird has bonded to her and is violent when other people are around, biting and clawing at whatever is around him. The dog without a lower jaw is "too much for someone to handle" and the dog who recovered from renal failure is "putting unwanted expenses on someone else". That's her excuses. She once tried to convince me I was taking horrible care of my snake. She said I starved him and should give him to someone who will feed him. I fed him every two weeks, sometimes feeding sooner than later. He was on no set schedule because wild snakes don't eat on a regular basis. And it was winter. Now I feed
him every week because she thinks that is good for him. She says it makes him happy. Food makes anyone happy, and that is why there is obesity.

Jack bit me for the first time. He didn't mean to, of course. Mom has him spoiled. He won't eat unless the thawed mouse is dangled in the air. He doesn't like the tongs, they are cold and scare him. When I first got him I didn't have to do that. With any animal, you shouldn't let it do something when it's young if you don't want it doing it when it's grown. She doesn't think he can ever have big enough fangs to hurt. There's a big difference between a nip and a bite meant for food. Jack likes mauling his dead food. He coils around it and tries ripping into it. He did that to my hand today. It's comical now, of course. Even funnier when he realized he wasn't chomping on a mouse and let go and looked around and saw his mouse was still where he dropped it. He won't eat it if it's just laying there. First he nudges it, then he looks at me. So today I used the tongs to pick it up, so he can get used to them. If he ends up refusing the tongs, and keeps dropping his mice, I'll make mom do it since its her fault.

You know what ? Monster mommy or not, what goes on with those dogs is YOUR fault too. You see what is going on, and you do nothing. They are suffering because of her, and because of YOU. If she won't listen, tell everyone you can until some body does.

As far as feeding your corn every 2 weeks, well if it is a young one, or a sub adult, you are pretty much starving him to feed him only every 2 weeks. Young corns need to be fed every 5 days to every week.
As far as how he likes to eat, every corn is different. The way he prefers eating has nothing to do with your mother. They do what the do, and they can't be "spoiled" as they don't have the intelligence to learn bad habits.

I am starting to think you are either a troll, or just someone who doesn't care much about animal suffering.

 

[susang]

The animals get none of those things. Not much anyways. I am afraid of confronting my mother. Correcting anything she does, even nicely, even over minor things such as she's typing a letter and I correct her spelling. She acts like it offends her intelligence for her child to correct her. I've told her to rehome the rabbit, but she says he's too old. The bird has bonded to her and is violent when other people are around, biting and clawing at whatever is around him. The dog without a lower jaw is "too much for someone to handle" and the dog who recovered from renal failure is "putting unwanted expenses on someone else". That's her excuses. She once tried to convince me I was taking horrible care of my snake. She said I starved him and should give him to someone who will feed him. I fed him every two weeks, sometimes feeding sooner than later. He was on no set schedule because wild snakes don't eat on a regular basis. And it was winter. Now I feed
him every week because she thinks that is good for him. She says it makes him happy. Food makes anyone happy, and that is why there is obesity.

Jack bit me for the first time. He didn't mean to, of course. Mom has him spoiled. He won't eat unless the thawed mouse is dangled in the air. He doesn't like the tongs, they are cold and scare him. When I first got him I didn't have to do that. With any animal, you shouldn't let it do something when it's young if you don't want it doing it when it's grown. She doesn't think he can ever have big enough fangs to hurt. There's a big difference between a nip and a bite meant for food. Jack likes mauling his dead food. He coils around it and tries ripping into it. He did that to my hand today. It's comical now, of course. Even funnier when he realized he wasn't chomping on a mouse and let go and looked around and saw his mouse was still where he dropped it. He won't eat it if it's just laying there. First he nudges it, then he looks at me. So today I used the tongs to pick it up, so he can get used to them. If he ends up refusing the tongs, and keeps dropping his mice, I'll make mom do it since its her fault.

Well troll or no troll there is a problem, bold statements #1 AL perceives not enough toys as compared to their standards, which may or may not be enough. #2 No expert on conures but I thought that was a triat of conures a one pwerson bird. #3 How could mom spoil a snake at all and in what a week or two at that.
#4 AL using ideal standards as the rule 'black vs. white'
Cornsnakes don't have 'fangs', mauling his food coiling is common, nudging is common.

Mom is probably not a nice person, if she is as bad as you have portrayed why are you still there. As poorly as she treats her animals how does she treat you.

So my vote is kid with a problem, Mom not nice and troll all wrapped in a kid who thinks they are doing what is right by their standards.

 

[Amelavender]

I'm leaving if you think I'm a troll. Trolls are people who annoy others on purpose. If I'm annoying you, I'm not doing it on purpose. Maybe you just don't like folks who go online and complain about their life. Do you know why people do that? It's because they don't have anyone to talk to. However, this entire thing had gotten out of hand. I didn't originally intend to let it go this far. But it did, and I'm stopping it before it gets any worse. But I will say that while my mom may not give the animals proper stimulation (excersize, training, etc), she doesn't abuse them. This is what can happen when you have too many animals.

I'd like to do something for the animals, I really do. But as I have said before, saying anything to my mother involving pointing out her mistakes leads to arguements. I really don't know what I can do that doesn't involve confronting her. At the moment she's doing some test for her new job and it takes up most of her time so talking to her about anything is not a good idea. It's not that she's mean, she's just kinda high strung. How does she treat me? That's a hard question. She gets upset at me easy. I talk too much about things she doesn't care about. We love each other but we drive each other crazy. If you were to ask how my stepdad treats me, I can answer that in one word: crap. Everything I do is wrong, even when it's right. He and mom get into arguments over how he treats me. I could go on, but then I'd get called a troll. Or a whiner. The latter is kinda true, I must admit.

Why have I not left yet? I would if I could. But mom has control over my money, possessions, everything. She says I am not emotionally mature enough to live on my own. And that is true. And she says I have no place to go. Which is kind of true. I could live with my dad, but that would be a worse situation. So I'm stuck here, I stay in my room most of the time because I am afraid of confrontation. And because the dogs are just too much for me to deal with when they get hyper. I don't have a lot of patience, so I usually just end up giving up calming them down. I give up easy on a lot of things.

And how young is young? He's three, well, Ive had him for three years and he was a baby when I got him. And I don't mean spoiled exactly, more like so used to something that's what he wants. If it ain't moving, he ain't interested.

Ok. I'm done. I guess. Unless anyone asks any more questions. But then again, I don't know if I should. It'll probably do no good any way...

So should I leave entirely or just stop discussing my problems? Suggestions welcome as long as you don't call me a troll again. I'm more of a gnome, anyways.


That was supposed to be funny, but I think it was misplaced...

 

[Naagas]

It sounds to me like your mom has Borderline Personality Disorder and is emotionally abusing you.

I don't think you are a troll, I think you are suffering through a childhood that is much like mine was.

No matter what your mom says, you are an adult. You get to have money and possessions, the same as any other person. One day you will decide you are strong enough to live your life.

Emotionally mature? Who is? How are you going to become emotionally mature living in that environment?

There are plenty of people with autism living on their own, having successful lives. If you have the drive to do so, you can do so.

 

[susang]

It sounds to me like your mom has Borderline Personality Disorder and is emotionally abusing you.

I don't think you are a troll, I think you are suffering through a childhood that is much like mine was.

No matter what your mom says, you are an adult. You get to have money and possessions, the same as any other person. One day you will decide you are strong enough to live your life.

Emotionally mature? Who is? How are you going to become emotionally mature living in that environment?

There are plenty of people with autism living on their own, having successful lives. If you have the drive to do so, you can do so.

Troll or not AL lives in an abusive situation. As for money and possessions, likely Mom gets the checks, therefore controls money. I really think Mom is a piece of work and needs more then help.

AL while your posts are questionable and to a degree people post to vent, only to a degree. Not every post or thread should be so negative. We all have problems some less then yours some much worse.

 

[Dreamsnake]

I agree with Naagas. It is possible for you to take control of your own life. I go to school with many wonderful people with disabilities, many have their own apartments, and interact in various social groups. Spending your life in a room is not the way to live. I really think you should step out and learn to understand the world better. I don't think your mother is the judge for maturity. When I talk about going to back to school, start out small with a local Community College that has a life skills curriculum and take a study skills course as well. You can meet new people and learn to develop your mind as well as your emotions. I am not putting you down; this is what I had to do to recover from my own illnesses and the abuse I suffered as a teenager.

 

[VickyChaiTea]

Neglect is a form of abuse, no one can deny that.

 

[Amelavender]

I've never really thought of it as abuse... I just don't know. Maybe I said something the wrong way, or maybe the way I see things isn't the way things really are. I'm confused with all this. So just so you know, the things I say could be slightly biased but not purposefully. It's part if Aspergers. I hate having Aspergers. There are good moments with mom, it's just there's a lot of stress. Mom says there isn't. What if the only dressed out one is me? What if I'm the one causing all the stress? Mom wasn't always like this. She's always been easy to upset and tearful, but when she married my stepdad it became almost constant tension. Waiting for one of us to make the wrong move. Or maybe that's just how I see it. Maybe my view if things is flawed because I'm a pessimist. Mom says I shouldn't wish to be normal. That Aspergers has given me talents like creativity and such. Sometimes I wonder if my artistic and writing abilities are worth the pain. But they help me cope with it at times.

I'll try not to be so negative. No promises. Lots of folks don't like my pessimistic personality. Comes from being the most made fun of kid in my entire midddle school and never being able to fill in the giant chip on my shoulder because no one will let it heal. I've gotten so used to things getting worse, it became my outlook on life. Now before you say I can change my attitude any time I want, it's not always that easy. Some people just seem to be able to overcome anything though.

Sometime we need to just erase this thread before my mom sees this and things get worse. Usually mom stays out if my business, but I have attempted to talk to her about some things and I don't want her trying to figure out why. Not that she'd have to do much, I usually tell her everything and I find it hard to lie. Sometimes I lie and then I tell the truth three seconds later because I just can't lie. Besides, she usually knows when I'm lying anyway. Sometimes speaking ones mind isn't a good thing.

I

 

[Dreamsnake]

It isn't easy to change your life. The hard part is deciding when. I lived in an abusive relationship for four years. We broke up a few times, but i kept going back to him. I knew what to expect from him, I did not know what to expect from someone unfamiliar. I remember the day I left him and the giddy exhilaration when I knew he'd never hurt me again. Transitioning into an adult is such a difficult passage, not everyone makes it.

The kids who treated you badly only did so out of fear. I'm not telling you to forgive them, only not to let the ruin your life. Go out and enjoy yourself. You enjoy writing, then find a poetry group. Take a sketchbook and draw if you don't feel like reciting.

If you are timid about drawing in public here is a fact, the people who put down your work are ashamed that you are better than them. The people who explain what you are doing wrong are only trying to help you with perspective, foreshortening, or technique.

Getting out of your house will open your eyes to all that there is and all that you can be.

 

[Naagas]

Erasing this thread might be a good idea if you think your mom may read it.

Your situation reminds me of mine when I was your age.
My mom made me feel like I was being "too sensitive" and that I was the one being argumentative and hard to deal with.

Turns out that it wasn't true.

Your mom isn't Evil. She just has issues that you are getting trapped in.

I would reccomend looking into Borderline Personality Disorder and reading the book Walking on Eggshells.

I would also recommend looking into rolemodels with Autism, lime Temple (I don't remember her last name) who has a PhD.

If you want to talk/vent more, feel free to pm me.

 

[Amelavender]

Yeah, I am afraid mom might read this. She has been known to look at my facebook on my phone, saying she was curious and meant no harm. Total invasion of privacy. She read my texts too and saw that I complained about her to a friend. She brought it up, making me panic, and then said she wasn't serious. I get on here with my itouch and have the page up so I don't have to log in all the time. I'm bad at forgetting passwords. Mom says use the same one for everything. That's completely stupid. That makes it easier for people to hack. Using birthdays and other dates that anyone can find are also easily hacked. Mom and I "hacked" into grandma's email using her password to delete an email she wasn't supposed to get. Someone had sent her the invitation to her suprise party on accident! It was so funny!

Erasing this thread is probably a good idea. If I need to talk about my issues, I'll PM someone willing to listen.

I really miss my old therapist. I felt comfortable and could talk to her about anything! Then the place I went to and our insurance didn't get along, so we had to change. While I like my new therapist as a person and as someone who can help family issues, I still don't feel comfortable telling her some things.

We've bought the aspen and bark bedding to replace the sand today.

 

[Dreamsnake]

I'm glad you have a therapist, even if it is hard to completely open up too him or her. The few times my parents dragged me to the psychoanalyst They sat next to me and made it impossible for me to state any feeling I had. I felt like they were crushing my spirit. It was only when I moved into the dorms until I felt relief and my own personal freedom.

You may also be wanting some boundaries in your life. Everyone needs something that is for their own. You are growing up and that must scare your mom. It seems as if she is trying to control every facet of her life and that extends to your life, the animals, her husband, and your ailing grandmother, as well as any siblings you have. That is not healthy and it doesn't teach anyone how to respect anything.

The first things you must learn in life is how to respect yourself and how to love yourself. If you can not do these two things, than life is incomplete.