Bearded Dragon. I'm not a fuzzy animal person (except for my cat, but she loves herps too) and my replacement for a dog is a breadred dragon. My top male, Spike, will come when I call him, sit on my shoulder for hours without moving, keep the insect # around my house down, and even falls asleep if you pet him in the right place. He'll even double as a guardian too. If I take him down to the local reptile shop with me, people will pet him all the time, and he'll let them. But if someone he doesn't know tries to touch me at all, he'll go into attack mode. I think its cute. He's never actually caught someone, but the threat is definitly there. Beardies are worth it, trust me.
And even a cb will rip your arm off. Bloods are agressive and defensive by nature...there's not much you can do about that.