wade
Save The Humans
As I’m reading along I keep telling my self, just be quiet, let him have his say and then he will move on and bother some other site for a week or two. But he just keeps it, pushing and pushing until no human could remain silent. Somebody has got to say something.
Of course, that is just my opinion.
As a point of clarification I NEVER said it was "ok" for kids to be mean, nor did I even remotely imply that it was "acceptable. I merely stated that it is a fact, and quite simply...it is a fact of growing up.
The reality is, as far as I can see from the articles, that this young lady did not have the confidence, self-esteem, or mental capabilities to deal with emotional turmoil and peer torment. Whether through a lack of parenting, a lack of education, or a serious and debilitating mental deficiency, this poor child could not cope with her day-to-day existence.
WOW, I read those same articles. I feel like you are reading a lot into those brief descriptions. You seem to be speaking confidently about this girls mental state. Having drawn that much information out of a couple of paragraphs, I wonder why the very people who lived with her couldn't make those kind of judgments.
The fact that this serious and life-threatening emotional shortcoming was not seen, diagnosed, and dealt with long before this happened speaks more harshly to the failings of the educational system and her parents, than of the bullies. I'm not laying blame on the school OR the parents, because sometimes there just isn't anything you can do to help a child in pain. But it seems to me that a psychological evaluation should have been undertaken long before any personal violence was done.
So now you assumption becomes fact and we will build our case on that fact. Now that you have diagnosed the problem you feel you understand the situation well enough to judge the parents and the school system. It speaks harshly of your failings but I am not blaming you. But based on your assumption you now want to prescribe psychological evaluation.
If the teachers and the parents didn't see the pain, whether told about the problems or not, than they are not looking at the child in most cases of teen suicide. The vast majority of teen and adolescant suicides are preceeded by a long history of emotional turmoil and usually some form of self-mutilation long before any permanent harm is caused.
Chris, are you a noted authority on teen suicide? Are these statement you give us as fact backed by any kind of research or is this just you assessment based on your opinions? When you say "the vast majority" it sounds like there must be some kind of research to back that up.
Most of the time, the "final straw" is not the cause of the suicide, it's merely the excuse. Most of the time, these kids that DO go so far as to kill themselves, would likely have done so regardless of what the final straw was, whether it be a group of kids teasing or a failed relationship, the death of a pet or celebrity, or sometimes even a strict punishment.
I know what is missing, it's the words, In My Opinion.
And this is why I don't think the kids involved should be charged with a crime unless there is reasonable evidence to suggest that this went much further than the standard "schoolyard bullying". I'm not saying the kids didn't do anything wrong, and I'm not saying there shouldn't be any repercussions.
I kind of feel like the articles I read gave us very little information to make any kind of judgement. Your opinion of wrong doing is based strictly on the scenario you have created here which may have absolutely nothing to do with the actual case being discussed.
But if there was no actual, physical abuse, and this "tormenting" was nothing more than typical schoolyard bullying, why should these children be given criminal records because this young lady did not have the mental facilities to deal with a tough adolescence?:shrugs:
Oh you have got to love this. Now the young ladies short comings are the problem and the 9 bullies are the victims. That is fantastic. You have out done yourself here.
I was bullied daily starting in kindergarten and ending when I stopped being afraid and started fighting back. I was spit on, beaten up, tormented verbally incessantly by students and faculty, and teachers would sit idly by while I was physically assaulted at school on multiple occasions.
I had two choices...kill myself or fight back. So I fought back. And I spent the majority of my sophmore and junior years fighting...everyday with someone, sometimes with some-two or three. I got in trouble when I won, and I went to the hospital when I lost. But by my senior year...I wasn't messed with, and there were very few that desired to give it a try. I got tough mentally and physically. And this was FAR beyond "typical schoolyard bullying".
I can't imagine why anyone would pick on you Chris. I mean with your people skills I am surprised you weren't the class president. You learned a hard lesson and came away with skills that will help you get though the rest of your life. Did it occur to you to wonder why these "bullies" were always picking on you. There must have been other kids they could have picked on.
The point is that there are much more important responsibilities here than that of children being children. The school has a definite responsibility to protect the students. The parents of this young girl had the responsibility of providing their child with the emotional means to survive the harsh and cruel world we live in, whether through proper parenting and confidence building or through mental and psychological help.
Yes...the parents of the bullies are responsible for raising their kids right. Yes, the bullies are responsible for "playing nice". But they are not nearly as responsible, in my opinion, as the adults that failed this child in protecting her and teaching her how to protect herself.
Fact of the matter is we don't even know from the article that this child had parents. We don't know any of the mitigating circumstances. We don't know weather this child was going to daily psychological counseling. We don't know a lot of things. It's good we have you here to make the necessary assumptions that we can now hear your conclusion.
Billions of kids every year are abused verbally and, sadly, physically on school grounds. It's not right and it's not acceptable...but it is reality. 99% of those kids toughen up physically and mentally, and learn how to stand up for themselves and their loved ones, and go on to become productive members of society. Very few hurt themselves or others permanently because of it. That *should* indicate something much more dangerous than verbal taunts and insults as the root of the problem in those cases... At least it does to me...
Maybe what we could do is teach people how to work and play well with others. Maybe there is more to survival in society than toughening up physically and mentally. Maybe we could teach people how to get what they need without taking it from others. Maybe teaching people to cooperate would solve problems for bullies and the bullied. Maybe if your teachers had taught you to communicate in a way that others didn't find offensive, you would find more people agreeing with you rather than arguing with you.
Of course, that is just my opinion.
Thanks. 