...However I do not agree at all with tyflier (sorry nothing personal - and this is just an opinion so take it only as that) I do not think it is ok for kids to be mean. I don't care what kids might try to get away with. It is IMPORTANT that their parents, teachers and society in general do not just brush this off. Being mean is not ok and should not be considered acceptable behavior. Adults, especially parents and teachers should be models of appropriate behavior. And they do have a responsibility to address these kinds of issues. ...
As a point of clarification I NEVER said it was "ok" for kids to be mean, nor did I even remotely imply that it was "acceptable. I merely stated that it is a fact, and quite simply...it is a fact of growing up.
The reality is, as far as I can see from the articles, that this young lady did not have the confidence, self-esteem, or mental capabilities to deal with emotional turmoil and peer torment. Whether through a lack of parenting, a lack of education, or a serious and debilitating mental deficiency, this poor child could not cope with her day-to-day existence.
The fact that this serious and life-threatening emotional shortcoming was not seen, diagnosed, and dealt with long before this happened speaks more harshly to the failings of the educational system and her parents, than of the bullies. I'm not laying blame on the school OR the parents, because sometimes there just isn't anything you can do to help a child in pain. But it seems to me that a psychological evaluation should have been undertaken long before any personal violence was done.
If the teachers and the parents didn't see the pain, whether told about the problems or not, than they are not looking at the child in most cases of teen suicide. The vast majority of teen and adolescant suicides are preceeded by a long history of emotional turmoil and usually some form of self-mutilation long before any permanent harm is caused.
Most of the time, the "final straw" is not the cause of the suicide, it's merely the excuse. Most of the time, these kids that DO go so far as to kill themselves, would likely have done so regardless of what the final straw was, whether it be a group of kids teasing or a failed relationship, the death of a pet or celebrity, or sometimes even a strict punishment.
And this is why I don't think the kids involved should be charged with a crime unless there is reasonable evidence to suggest that this went much further than the standard "schoolyard bullying". I'm not saying the kids didn't do anything wrong, and I'm not saying there shouldn't be any repercussions.
But if there was no actual, physical abuse, and this "tormenting" was nothing more than typical schoolyard bullying, why should these
children be given criminal records because this young lady did not have the mental facilities to deal with a tough adolescence?:shrugs:
I was bullied daily starting in kindergarten and ending when I stopped being afraid and started fighting back. I was spit on, beaten up, tormented verbally incessantly by students
and faculty, and teachers would sit idly by while I was physically assaulted at school on multiple occasions.
I had two choices...kill myself or fight back. So I fought back. And I spent the majority of my sophmore and junior years fighting...everyday with someone, sometimes with some-two or three. I got in trouble when I won, and I went to the hospital when I lost. But by my senior year...I wasn't messed with, and there were very few that desired to give it a try. I got tough mentally and physically. And this was FAR beyond "typical schoolyard bullying".
The point is that there are much more important responsibilities here than that of children being children. The school has a definite responsibility to protect the students. The parents of this young girl had the responsibility of providing their child with the emotional means to survive the harsh and cruel world we live in, whether through proper parenting and confidence building or through mental and psychological help.
Yes...the parents of the bullies are responsible for raising their kids right. Yes, the bullies are responsible for "playing nice". But they are not nearly as responsible, in my opinion, as the adults that failed this child in protecting her and teaching her how to protect herself.
Billions of kids every year are abused verbally and, sadly, physically on school grounds. It's not right and it's not acceptable...but it is reality. 99% of those kids toughen up physically and mentally, and learn how to stand up for themselves and their loved ones, and go on to become productive members of society. Very few hurt themselves or others permanently because of it. That *should* indicate something much more dangerous than verbal taunts and insults as the root of the problem in those cases... At least it does to me...
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