Conflict is advantages

[Lucille]

polarizing again

I don't want that to happen.

It happens in my own family though, someone gets their panties in a wad and then people quit talking, and then the pendulum returns to the other side and all is well again.

Some here see this as their own little community and home away from home. I guess you get what you give, and if people would make an effort to be the kind of person they want others to be, it might work out where it was a little easier to hang out here for some.

 

[susang]

I don't want that to happen.

It happens in my own family though, someone gets their panties in a wad and then people quit talking, and then the pendulum returns to the other side and all is well again.

This is the baggage I am talking about, the pendulum may hit a nerve for one person and not another.


Some here see this as their own little community and home away from home. I guess you get what you give, and if people would make an effort to be the kind of person they want others to be, it might work out where it was a little easier to hang out here for some.

I really hope you is meant in the plural or maybe you meant "one gets what they give". If not that could be taken as a slam against me personally.

While I don't think that is your intention, it very easily could be misunderstood.

 

[wade]

You're right Lucille. Chris will be back to have the last word. I've had enough.

 

[Lucille]

I really hope you is meant in the plural or maybe you meant "one gets what they give". If not that could be taken as a slam against me personally.

While I don't think that is your intention, it very easily could be misunderstood.

I would no more slam you than I would fly to the moon. You are a Good Guy.

Replace the youses with y'all

 

[Lucille]

You're right Lucille. Chris will be back to have the last word. I've had enough.

Come on down to the bar for a free tequila and we will (not) get in trouble :roflmao:

 

[susang]

Off topic, but I see so many referances to FB. So people really carry this to FB, wow

 

[danielle]

FB is many people's second home from here,lol so yes some stuff does get carried over

 

[Sinsational]

I have no CS.com friends on my FB.... what did I do wrong

 

[danielle]

You forgot to expand your friends list

 

[Sinsational]

Well geez... guess I should get on that!

 

[Susan]

Your question can't be answered simply as each case is different and cannot be judged the same as any other. There are a myriad of viewpoints and opinions as to what is considered rude, profane, confrontational, etc, etc, etc. .

Thank you Susan that is an agreeable answer to a general question but my question is: “Is it the individual that makes the first personalized rude remark wrong or the one on the receiving end who responds in kind that should be chastised?”

As I said, each case is judged by itself, and may depend upon if the first supposedly rude comment was in fact rude, and if so, just how rude, or was it simply perceived by the responding person as rude and then, how did the second person respond and what was the degree of rudeness that was responded. For example, if you called someone an idiot because they posted the wrong info in a thread by mistake and it caused some confusion for several other members, but they responded to you calling you either an Afrikaner insulting name that begins with "D" (or if you were of the other color, an insulting name that begins with "K"), who should get the infraction? And PLEASE, I am NOT calling you those names, they are just examples that you are more familiar with to judge degree of insult.

 

[Sinsational]

*is wracking her brain trying to think of insulting names beginning in a K or D, but can't* Was that an actual example Susan? Am I just to innocent to get them?

 

[dionythicus]

*is wracking her brain trying to think of insulting names beginning in a K or D, but can't* Was that an actual example Susan? Am I just to innocent to get them?

You can Google it. They aren't American slang. I found them and they really don't need to be posted.

 

[susang]

To all the mothers out there in snakeland.
It is remarkable a thread like this gets so many pages of 'advantages conflict' and Mothers day got what maybe three. I also realize I'm adding to this with yet another post. Just what the he$$

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

And lastly, forums are attacked by "trolls" who try to start fights & meanness. I don't think you are one of them, but we have had trolls here before who clearly intended to start, not a healthy discussion with disagreement, but a FIGHT.

Wstphal I am in no doubt that trolls get away with snide remarks that no one else notices except the target. When the target takes offence the TROLL plays innocent. I’ve noted one of these creatures patrolling this thread. Maybe you’ve identified it as well?

..it is pretty hard to change opinions by debate alone

Agreed but it’s a start. It’s all in the attitude and motive. It’s easy to push buttons but if ones goal is to expose a point of view or attempt to change a perception this will take diplomacy.

You're cute Chris, everyone here knows who you are talking to. Put up or shut up.

Wade I have it on good standing that I should not call anyone “insignificant” “under aged” or a “Weenie” due to these names being regarded as abrasive but I have been given permission to call anyone a Troll if the name fits the attitude. You have been constantly rude confrontational and antagonistic with snide under handed remarks at every opportunity possible. I find it strange that the Moderators have not picked up on this because maybe they have. Carry on, as you were.

[polarizing again] I don't want that to happen…

Lucille I have witnessed this on this site already. Those that have been around longer than others have the influence to be prejudice without consequence.

I have no CS.com friends on my FB.... what did I do wrong

If I tried answering that I would be the accused. No comment.

… how rude, or was it simply perceived by the responding person as rude …

Agreed Susan. Everyone is different and this should be taken into consideration. I take offence being called English but mean no offence to anyone one that happens to be English. If I am falsely accused of doing of being something I am not I should have the right to retaliate. To allow one to call another a troll but the victim gets chastised for taking offence is my point. I may have over reacted but I certainly had no troll intentions.

*is wracking her brain trying to think of insulting names beginning in a K or D, but can't* …

Not in South Africa. Susan is giving examples of insulting labels and names we use. The words in question would probably not be seen in the same offence anywhere else other than in SA. If I said someone on this thread was an Afrikaans box. Susan would understand but the individual I labeled a D…s would not understand the insult thus it would be wasted. LoL

 

[smallfry]

This has been an interesting read. It's difficult to respect a poster who starts off with their first post in a thread as an insult to the OP. Many of the really good discussions have been railroaded by personal attacks, destroying any hope of re-establishing civil discussion. Thanks for the input on this thread from all of you.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

This has been an interesting read. ...

Thanks smallfry much appreciated. I think too many of us are under this false impression that for something to be successful everyone must be in agreement.
Any agreement will take a certain amount of compromise from either side to be regarded as a practical and workable idea.
Being in disagreement is not always bad but as you can see from this thread that there will always be some individual getting off by nudging for a smack down fight.
Spineless individual like that don`t have mature ethics so are best left uneducated.

 

[wilomn]

Spineless individual like that don`t have mature ethics so are best left uneducated.

And those who provoke the spineless, what of them?

 

[smallfry]

No, being in disagreement is not a bad thing, and you don't even HAVE to respect the person with whom you disagree, but one should respect that the other person is entitled to their own point of view without resorting to name calling, etc. At that point, nothing becomes constructive.

 

[smallfry]

And those who provoke the spineless, what of them?

Those are the spineless AND pathetic.