Conflict is advantages

[Sinsational]

Very well said Megan. Rep!

 

[Rich Z]

Lucille as I’ve said earlier. “It’s not the question that is the problem but the way it’s answered.” Controlled confrontation in my opinion is a good thing. We should embrace our differences and be allowed to express them respectfully within reason rather than have over controlling individuals making spot decisions without all the facts.
Please be kind enough to respond to my original question because everyone commenting on this topic has avoided the original question.

Not necessarily. Sometimes the way a question is ASKED can adversely affect the manner in which it is answered. So therefore the question itself can actually be the problem.

 

[bitsy]

Diversity = differences. Any difference = conflict.

By that rationale, everyone in the world is in conflict with everyone else. We're all different to each other.

You can't assume that anyone who has different opinions, views and values to you, is automatically in conflict with you.

Diversity is healthy.

Differences can be managed without aggression.

Conflict is a different thing altogether, and is not good. It is negative and prevents an exchange of views. It precludes mutual respect, as each dialogue by definition has to end with a "winner" and a "loser". This is not the nature of mature debate.

 

[Nanci]

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

Many questions are unanswerable. Many answers are questionable.

 

[susang]

Diversity = differences. Any difference = conflict.

Difference does not equal conflict, fear of what is different equals conflict. Diveristy and difference are a good things it would be a vanilla world if we all looked, thought and acted alike.

 

[susang]

I believe that conflict is where we all learn from one another.

Though we sometimes over react or under react to opinions that we do not agree with. We should be respectful of others and behave accordingly.

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

There are many types of conflict discussion--war. There is conflict resolution, but I'm not sure that is what you want, (that is a conflictitory statement to you, since it appears again you are stirring the pot).

We can also have conflict within ourself usually about a moral situation.

The recent no ending conflict designed threads and responses are rather ongoing and redundant.

I like a good heated discussion, it seems recently many just want to argue.

 

[bitsy]

Difference does not equal conflict, fear of what is different equals conflict.

Superb summary.

 

[wstphal]

Conflict is a different thing altogether, and is not good. It is negative and prevents an exchange of views. It precludes mutual respect, as each dialogue by definition has to end with a "winner" and a "loser". This is not the nature of mature debate.

Everything else in your post is GREAT. But I don't totally agree, because I have seen conflict end with exchanges of views & agreement to disagree rather than ending with a winner and a loser. Conflict doesn't have to spiral into argument, flame war, and so on, although it often does.

 

[danielle]

My answer is both people are wrong because two wrongs don't equal a right unless you condone people being rude off the bat, or people responding rudely to the first rude offender. Which is it?

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

… nobody is obligated to answer your questions ... .

That maybe true Wade but then why would a simple question cause such fear?

….conflict is necessary when talking to you .

Why would you suggest such a thing? Have I not been non confrontational toward you even with your attempts to get a rise out of me on this thread?

… If conflict arises the person who elevated the discussion to the lever of a conflict is at fault…

Yes this can be true so you agree that the person who makes unfounded accusations or rude personalized remarks is in the wrong? YES

…You may go.

Sigh... No comment

Your question can't be answered simply as each case is different and cannot be judged the same as any other. There are a myriad of viewpoints and opinions as to what is considered rude, profane, confrontational, etc, etc, etc. .

Thank you Susan that is an agreeable answer to a general question but my question is: “Is it the individual that makes the first personalized rude remark wrong or the one on the receiving end who responds in kind that should be chastised?”

Now, you are not a frequent poster on this forum, and perhaps just don't visit frequently enough to understand exactly what type of forum CS.com is. .

Susan it should not matter if I am a first time visitor or an all day cyber stay in. All members should be treated fairly. Why should anyone be prejudiced by the amount of previous posts? To be discriminated against is a very bad reflection on an indevidual being accused and the site being represented. Being prejudice is an unfair attitude to have in any society.

No, any difference does not equal conflict….

When I say “conflict” I am not referring to anything physical. Diversity is difference and any difference is conflict. It`s what you do with the conflict that can be good or bad. Most of us tolerate conflict without direct opposition. I may not agree with you on a certain opinion or point of view but I will tolerate it and will try compromise but would still believe it to be inaccurate. Conflict of interests is a difference of opinion but a ‘conflict’ all the same.

… Sometimes the way a question is ASKED can adversely affect the manner in which it is answered. So therefore the question itself can actually be the problem.

I have to agree with you on this one. It’s like saying: “It’s not what you say that upsets but the way you say it.” Yes good one Rich Z

By that rationale, everyone in the world is in conflict with everyone else. We're all different to each other…. Diversity is healthy…..Differences can be managed without aggression. .

Bitsy we are in agreement.

… dialogue by definition has to end with a "winner" and a "loser". This is not the nature of mature debate.

I good debate helps us compromise which can often help us change our perception of things we would not have had the insight to see or understand. Thanks Bitsy I believe you and I are on the same page.

… conflict resolution…. … I like a good heated discussion, ...

Susang any conflict resolution can only be concluded if we accept and apply reasonable criticism were its due so we need to compromise. The way we dispense criticism should also be done in a mature way
I myself enjoy a good logical debate because it helps me reason objectively and if done with the correct motivation will be an advantage.

… Conflict doesn't have to spiral into argument, flame war, and so on, although it often does.

Spot on Wstphal. A conflict is a difference of opinion. It’s the way we deal with it that causes unpleasantness. We all over react occasionally and regret it.

 

[danielle]

Huh...now you avoided my question Mr/Ms Inc.- whats up with that?

 

[luckycharm318]

I believe that conflict is where we all learn from one another.

Though we sometimes over react or under react to opinions that we do not agree with. We should be respectful of others and behave accordingly.

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

The individual making the first "personalized rude remark" is wrong, however as it has been mentioned, a question may have been the starting point for the "wrong-ness" in the first place.

So to answer your question, the first person to make any sort of personal jab at another person, with the intent to hurt, anger, threaten, etc., is the person in the wrong.

This includes responding rudely, on purpose, in an attempt to belittle another person.

 

[danielle]

What about the person that personally fires back? I think both are wrong though I am sometimes guilty of both in reality two wrongs never make a right- it just makes it easier

 

[luckycharm318]

You're right, I think I read the question more as "who is wrong first" rather than just "who is wrong". Wasn't thinking of multiple answers there.

 

[Emily1188]

What about the person that personally fires back? I think both are wrong though I am sometimes guilty of both in reality two wrongs never make a right- it just makes it easier

LOL exactly... took the words right out of my mouth... the "guilty" part too!

 

[Shiari]

I am beginning to think that Inc's native language is NOT english.

Inc, this is what 'conflict' means to most of this forum:


con·flict

   /v. kənˈflɪkt; n. ˈkɒnflɪkt/ Show Spelled[v. kuhn-flikt; n. kon-flikt] Show IPA

–verb (used without object)
1.to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash: The account of one eyewitness conflicted with that of the other. My class conflicts with my going to the concert.
2.to fight or contend; do battle.

–noun
3.a fight, battle, or struggle, esp. a prolonged struggle; strife.
4.controversy; quarrel: conflicts between parties.
5.discord of action, feeling, or effect; antagonism or opposition, as of interests or principles: a conflict of ideas.
6.a striking together; collision.
7.incompatibility or interference, as of one idea, desire, event, or activity with another: a conflict in the schedule.
8.Psychiatry. a mental struggle arising from opposing demands or impulses.


Thus, with the definition above, I say most emphatically that differences do NOT always cause conflict.

 

[susang]

There are many types of conflict discussion--war. There is conflict resolution, but I'm not sure that is what you want, (that is a conflictitory statement to you, since it appears again you are stirring the pot).

We can also have conflict within ourself usually about a moral situation.

The recent no ending conflict designed threads and responses are rather ongoing and redundant.

I like a good heated discussion, it seems recently many just want to argue.

Susang any conflict resolution can only be concluded if we accept and apply reasonable criticism were its due so we need to compromise. The way we dispense criticism should also be done in a mature way
I myself enjoy a good logical debate because it helps me reason objectively and if done with the correct motivation will be an advantage.

If you are going to quote me do not leave words out and paraphrase, NO GOOD LOGICAL arguement comes out of that.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

danielle; luckycharm318 and Emily1188. Have I your permission to suggest that all three are in agreement.
If an individual makes a rude suggestive remark without provocation this individual can be considered at faulty.
If the individual receiving this unprovoked rude remark reacts in kind both these person should be considered equally at fault.
In other words both should be equally dealt with or none at all?
Do you agree?

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

If you are going to quote me do not leave words out and paraphrase, ...

My apologies just tried to simplify. No harm intended.

 

[danielle]

Mr. Illusive you were quite intent on people answering your question of who is right when a debate turns into a conflict and so I did- now you are dancing around your own question without answering mine. I am all about a good debate without conflict so please tell us who you think is wrong.