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Have you ever....
- Thread starter fu1bar3
- Start date
ghosthousecorns
Well-known member
Who hasn't? It takes a while to find your niche but if you are not among people who make you comfortable keep looking. Here's hoping you find some more birds "of a feather" to flock together with. In the meantime don't let anyone make you feel like there is anything wrong with you. Do you really want to be part of a group that you don't feel accepted by?
Here is a saying in Spanish for you - Mas vale solo que mal acompanado. Translation: Being alone is worth more than being with bad company.
Here is a saying in Spanish for you - Mas vale solo que mal acompanado. Translation: Being alone is worth more than being with bad company.
Isnt that normal? To not "fit in" at some point in life? After all, the pple you meet in life if you click with them then that just signifies that at that point in life you have some thing in common with them thus making you commrads in arms so to speak and that may be for days to years but as soon as life alters that connection they move on or you do and you're back to not fitting in.
Yep, Im a loner. Would rather hang with my horses, my snakes, my dog, or my family than get mixed in with outsiders to my world and get used by them or use them until that next step of life comes along.
Might sound a lot harsher than I mean it to be. Sorry.
Yep, Im a loner. Would rather hang with my horses, my snakes, my dog, or my family than get mixed in with outsiders to my world and get used by them or use them until that next step of life comes along.
Might sound a lot harsher than I mean it to be. Sorry.
Hypancistrus
New member
Yeah, I think it's a common theme. That's why I like being on the boards so much. People here get it. It's nice to be understood. A lot of people don't understand why I keep a snake, let alone why I "need" 29.... and life is too short to worry about explaining a fundamental part of yourself to folks who really just don't get it.
Ricky87
New member
I don't see people in the category of "normal", at least as far as interests go. Even so I think people can value you as "normal" regardless of your love of reptiles. It just helps to have broader interests to attract people to your interests. Most people generalize snake owners as tattoo wearing, cigarette smoking people, but if they see things that relate them to you that generalization dis-appears. I mean, some people are in love with micro-chips, or circuit boards; things I know nothing about, but I appreciate that someone finds something so foreign to me so exciting to them. Same with snakes. If you present it in an enthusiastic way people won't see it as some strange fetish, and they'll start respecting it as something different, but totally interesting. At least my friends and family, anyway.
people do think its weird how we can have so many animals that most are afraid to understand. most people arent really afraid of the snake itself, but he idea behind it that they know nothing about. i actually am an outsider like that and my friends i hang out with are all different. we hang out because were all understanding and have such a broad understanding that we like everyones interests. we might not take them and make them our interests, but we talk about them and enjoy learning more.
i actually attract a ton of girls, not the normal kind of girl that just wants attention, but the kind with an opinion and a voice. and they think its awesome that i have reptiles and keep animals that most people dont like. i have girls that always say i want to see your animals and when they do i ask if they ever held a lizard, if not my beardie caly comes out cause i know shes docile as anything. and then i ask about snakes. and i get people to understand that these animals are awesome and have personalities. just get out there, and dont limit yourself. theres so many open minded awesome people out there. they might not know it yet, but just talk and learn about their interests, and i bet theyll do the same to you if they have any respect at all.
i actually attract a ton of girls, not the normal kind of girl that just wants attention, but the kind with an opinion and a voice. and they think its awesome that i have reptiles and keep animals that most people dont like. i have girls that always say i want to see your animals and when they do i ask if they ever held a lizard, if not my beardie caly comes out cause i know shes docile as anything. and then i ask about snakes. and i get people to understand that these animals are awesome and have personalities. just get out there, and dont limit yourself. theres so many open minded awesome people out there. they might not know it yet, but just talk and learn about their interests, and i bet theyll do the same to you if they have any respect at all.
Hypancistrus
New member
Reptiles as a pick up tool. Works VERY well. :dancer:
Worked for you didn't it!
I think we should all pool our resources and buy up a chunk of land, any state is fine with me, though I'm sure Tim and I will be voting for Montana. Then we'll name it cornlandia and be each others coolest neighbors.
Hypancistrus
New member
I'm down with that! However, Tara would like to suggest an alternative name: Colubridtopia.
I say we go with a traditional sounding one-- Herpville.
Ricky87
New member
As the saying goes; "Chicks Dig the Long Ball...Python.".
fu1bar3
New member
Thank you all a gazillion times over for replying. I was in a pretty down state and didnt feel like I had a friend in the world. I guess sometimes it helps to see that Im not the only one that feels, as Susan put it, like a "misfit".
And yes Susan, Misfits are the best!!! :dancer:
Floof, I seem to scare off everyone I meet too.. Ppl wont even come to my apt. cause of my "big scary snakes"..
GhostHouse...
Jdarlin.. it didnt sound harsh.. I usually spend more time with my critters than anyone... and alotta daytime at the dog park.
As for using reptiles as a pick up... well they make it so I dont have to keep a really neat and tidy house, as noone comes over to see my clutter.. :dancer:
As for buying land... im all in.. and I vote for herpville.. or critter haven..
Thanks again everyone... seeing your replys made my weekend!:bird:
And yes Susan, Misfits are the best!!! :dancer:
Floof, I seem to scare off everyone I meet too.. Ppl wont even come to my apt. cause of my "big scary snakes"..
GhostHouse...
So very true, but sometimes it gets lonely..lol
Jdarlin.. it didnt sound harsh.. I usually spend more time with my critters than anyone... and alotta daytime at the dog park.
As for using reptiles as a pick up... well they make it so I dont have to keep a really neat and tidy house, as noone comes over to see my clutter.. :dancer:
As for buying land... im all in.. and I vote for herpville.. or critter haven..
Thanks again everyone... seeing your replys made my weekend!:bird:
Floof
New member
I LOVE this idea! =D
"Herpville"--I love it!! Is it a good thing or a bad thing, though, that anyone unfamiliar with the term "herp" would think "herpes"?
fu1bar, it's great to hear we made your weekend better. =)
Honestly, I don't give a crap that I scare people off. I don't need more friends, and my family and "IRL" best friends still love me for who I am, so I'm set... None of us have the time or patience to deal with fake people, anyway, on top of keeping our "weird" pets healthy.
snakemom1961
Spring is here!
I've always been seen as a misfit. So have my daughters, because we own snakes. Did I ever ask my girls not to mention it to their fellow students when they were in school? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!
I told them, it doesn't matter what type of pets you own, it matters how you treat them and the people you come in contact with.
I told them, it doesn't matter what type of pets you own, it matters how you treat them and the people you come in contact with.
Hypancistrus
New member
Which is not necessarily a bad thing... it will keep those "normal people" from darkening any door steps in our neighborhood.
Floof said:Honestly, I don't give a crap that I scare people off. I don't need more friends, and my family and "IRL" best friends still love me for who I am, so I'm set... None of us have the time or patience to deal with fake people, anyway, on top of keeping our "weird" pets healthy.
I have found that I have very little to say to people outside of work and maybe a 1/2 hour lunch a day. I can shoot the breeze with them, but really, I am not all that interested in hearing about the wonders of potty training their child... and I have also found that these people tend not to be real friends, but people that talk to you and want to hang out to get something from you. I had one "friend" say to me a few weeks back "We really need to hang out," and I thought that was really nice. Before I could say anything she goes on "Yeah, I really want to get John (spouse) out rock climbing and I thought it would be great if you could belay us." Basically she just wanted to use my talents in belaying top ropes climbers so she and her husband could rock climb without paying for a belayer. So I would pay $18 to go to the rock gym to belay them and not climb myself? Right. That same night (retirment party for a coworker) the same "friend" also did not save a seat for me... I ended up sitting at a table by myself before the librarian came over and said "Come on over to our table, we will pull a chair over."
This seems to be the general rule with the people I have met since college. I am not sure if it is my area, my personality, or simply the fact that I am not likethem, but regardless of the reason, I would much rather come home and eat dinner with Tara and talk about the possibilities from our (hopefully soon!) Crested Gecko pair or what animals we need to look into picking up. That is what I focus on now, and that is what makes all the difference. I no longer have to corner someone to get them to look at snake pics... Tara is the one TAKING our pics! It's awesome! Outside of Tara and the rest of my family, I have very few RL friends, but it rarely bothers me. Quality, not quantity, counts. What I have with Tara is worth a hundred "friends."
Come to that... I have better relationships with friends on this forum than real life "friends." And I'm okay with that.
Ricky87
New member
Ummm, I'm gonna have to go with a bad thing, although their already is a "herpeville"; they call it New Jersey!.
Floof
New member
Which is not necessarily a bad thing... it will keep those "normal people" from darkening any door steps in our neighborhood.
That's what I thought. Then I was afraid I'd sound snobby. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who had that thought!! =)
Oh, hidden agendas are horrible. My mom, aunt, and grandmother seem to have come to the conclusion that my former best friend was using me to get to my cousin--believable, since it was right about the time she started dating him that she started being.. Eh.. "An unfriendly girl" would be the forum-friendly way of putting it... And the same thing happened to the aforementioned aunt way-back-when (the "user", still happily married to my uncle, eventually admitted it, to boot).
"Quality, not quantity"--that's the perfect way of putting it. I have a whopping three friends. One of them, I talk to no more than two or three times a year, but she was my first and still is a "real" friend. Especially after going through my fair share of "fake" friends, I'm more than happy with them. They're friends who love me for who I am, which is saying something since I'm a socially inept freak, and who really will still be my friends in 20 years, and that's what's important.
diamondlil
Mice! They taste so nice!
Oh that sounds so familiar! I do try to get along but I just don't actually want to be 'friends' with most people I meet. I don't recoil in horror when they tell me their hobby is watching soap operas and reality shows, that they haven't read a book since leaving school, that they go to the pub every weekend. I don't call them 'weird' for not having any pets and having married and stayed with their childhood sweetheart. Even though their lives sound nasty and odd to me I make the social effort.........and in return I get to be regarded as some sort of comedy turn. And not in an affectionate, accepting way.
Luckily the few real friends I have more than make up for it, I have a select group I really do care about ad who care about me. I'm old enough to know that I can be myself around my real friends and anyone else doesn't really matter to me.