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How Do You Resist The Urge...

NH93

NH93

New member
How do you resist the urge to tell someone they are doing something wrong with their pets??

My partner's cousin was just (and I mean JUST - yesterday) saying how he really wanted a ball python and his friend is a "breeder". All he kept going on about was what morph he was gunna get and how they were gunna breed his snake to his buddies snake. I asked if he had the setup ready and he said "No, I'll just do it all at once". I tried explaining about thermostats and that it's better to do it ahead of time because they have specific heat and temp requirements.
Keep in mind this conversation was over the internet.

I get a wakeup message today telling me he'd already got the snake...

He posts a photo on Facebook saying his mom was holding it for hours and stuff. Then, his buddy replies "If he nips ya tell him whose BOSS by flicking him on the nose. That'll put an end to it quick."
His buddy, the "breeder".

I don't want to be pushy because it's not my place... but WHAT THE HELL. Right then and there I said "Not a good idea! That is the opposite of what you should do. You will induce a fear response; their noses are very sensitive! They aren't dogs. Physical anything with snakes is not okay."

I also sent a link to a ball python forum and recommended care sheets and gave a few other intro tips to my partner's cousin yesterday... but I have no idea if he'll listen. It's kind of out of my hands, right? I don't want to interfere too much, but I also don't want him getting the wrong info from his friend.
:(

What would you guys do?
 
I'm an absolute jerk about this stuff. I would tell the person his friend sounds like an idiot and he needs to find someone new to listen to. Just because he's managed to hatch enough clutches to call himself "breeder" doesn't mean he's the end-all, get-all of ball python knowledge.

But like I said, I'm a jerk. If this person isn't a close friend, honey may be a better approach than vinegar... :)

Anyway, also concerning... They are holding the snake for hours, and just got it yesterday? Did the friend also fail to explain the acclimation period and relocation stress? Poor snake. Hopefully his husbandry is at a better start than his handling habits!
 
That's exactly my worry. I feel like he had done no research outside of good friend's word. I've already sent him links and given him unasked for tips...

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I'm willing to bet that snake will be up for sale in less than a year.

Snakes are easy to breed, anyone can become a "breeder" by just sticking 2 snakes together and getting them to do their thing.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
 
Yes... exactly. But he's pretty much family, except I dint know him well enough to outwardly tell him "you're wrong" and butt in and show him how to do it properly. My guess is it is a novelty pet, as you've suggested HVani. I hope I'm wrong though abd he gets really attached and looks up care sheets!

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I would just point him to the sticky in my personal forum, here, about acclimation. Tell him, as gently as possible, that this was written by a person who has brought hundreds of thousands of baby snakes into the world, who knows what they need to settle in and have the best chance at success.

And I would like to personally punch his "breeder" friend right in the face for that training suggestion. A snake has ZERO chance of learning anything from that treatment except to fear his caretaker.

Ball pythons are ESPECIALLY sensitive to settling in before they will relax and feed. There is another sticky in my forum about ball python care.

I would love to speak to the "breeder" on Facebook where I wasn't constrained. There is steam coming out of my ears right now. OMG I am angry.
 
Didn't mean to upset you Nanci!! But that's what I mean... not sure how to do this delicately without upsetting anyone, yet still getting my points across. On a semi-bright(er-ish) note, the python he got was NOT from his friend, but an expo I believe, and looks to be an adult, and was told it is male. So it is well started, in case it gets stressed and refuses to eat...

By the way, when I confronted his friend, he said "I said BEAN, so flick them in the head/neck. They are tough as nails, they eat live animals." I didn't want to start an argument so I said I respectfully disagreed because snakes don't 'learn' that way, and all he had to say was "you obviously have not worked with multigene snakes because my blahblahblah het blah ball python (can't remember what it was) female comes out swinging every time." I asked about her temperatures and he gave me no answer.

My question is, if it "works so well" (this stupid flicking thing), why do they keep biting?? I have NEVER had a nip from my bp ever. Sydney doesn't strike anymore after your suggestion months ago Nanci.

Idiots. Idiots everywhere. ARGH.
 
On the subject of feeding live, you can point your relative to the photo of a ball python which was making the rounds a couple weeks ago. Eaten by the prey, still alive. As in, still living, with much of its body eaten away. It turns my stomach to look at it. But oh no, you can't tell the "experts" anything...
 
I'm just speechless. I was pretty certain we'd advanced past the "caveman" era of Herp care.

My heart & prayers go out to your friends snake. It's gonna need all the help it can get.


Nanci... Honey.... If you need a ride for nose punching... Lemme know! ;)
 
Honestly, I'm unabashedly vocal (to a relative fault) so I would definitely have said something. Flicking a snake in the nose is a sure-fire way to injure a snake, cause a snake to fear being fed or handled, and also getting bit again. It's illogical and cruel. And, for lack of a better word, it would really 'tick' me off to hear that.

However, I would first feel no guilt in at least kindly telling the friend, as soon as you can, of the stupidity of that suggestion. I'd also recommend that he buys a cheap book or magazine on Ball Pythons (or look online). If he has the right information, hopefully he will take care of his animal the right way.
 
I am like you, I hate to be mean or confrontational with someone, but when you know the outcome will be harm to an animal or person I wouldn't hesitate to send as much info as you can to them. They may be mad that you sent it, but I have a feeling their curiosity will be piqued and they just may read it and learn!

Oh, I SO hope this turns out well.
 
I resist the urge to tell people anything by just not communicating with idiots. This tends to lead to a lonely life, but a sane one.
 
Thanks everyone :)

If I take the positive approach, I can be glad that this person is in fact continuing to ask me questions. So, that means he 1) cares enough to ask, and 2) respect my opinion and possibly also 3) trusts what I tell him.

So there's that. I have directed him many times to a well done care sheet from ball-pythons.net. I have answered his questions as best I can. As we speak he is updating the vive. His main concern though is that the ball python is striking a lot. I keep telling him it's because he doesn't have a thermoSTAT set up yet... explained to him why it is necessary and how harmful it is without one and he assured me he's getting one.

So, apart from the changes to be made to the vive, not sure what else to tell him. Except not to listen to his buddy the "breeder"... but I won't say that. I will just politely divert him to some real information.

;)

I will keep you all posted on the goings-on, if interested. He sends me photo updates consistently so that's a good thing.
 
The important thing to impress upon him is that the snake does not have a brain that can comprehend the concept of if you do this- I do that- so you should stop doing this. Absolutely no way in heck could the world's smartest snake make that connection. To physically punish a snake is ridiculous animal cruelty. It will only serve to teach the snake that he is a bringer of pain. Not the best way to start a relationship.
 
I wonder if striking super-breeder-herp-psychologist across the mouth....would stop stupid fashizzle from rolling out of his mouth....
 
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He said he does it with his 7.5 ft boa (flick on the head). My thought I'd why is she still biting then, if it works so well?? Hmmmmm ;) clearly doesn't.

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