wade
Save The Humans
The Mormons aren’t too big on gay rights, but they will go completely bat s### if they catch you loving yourself.
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I'm faced with a problem.
- Thread starter Elusive
- Start date
The Mormons aren’t too big on gay rights, but they will go completely bat s### if they catch you loving yourself.
starsevol
Cohabbing is cruelty...
kathylove
Pragmatic & Logical
Glad to see you have gotten so much positive support and good advice (as I would expect from our members here)!
Although agnostic myself, I believe that your religious beliefs will have to be only your own, after you do a lot of research and learning about various religions, and decide what you feel deep down is right for YOU. Nobody else can truly make those decisions for you. Try to remain open to learning about everything you can when you are still young, so you can make an informed decision about what you believe, what you want, and who you really are, once you become an adult and are responsible for all of your own actions and decisions. Whether or not you eventually decide to accept your parent's beliefs as your own, try to respect them, and, at least for now, accommodate their requests as best you can. In a few short years, both their demands, as well as their financial support, will diminish considerably. It will be a time of both liberation, and surprisingly scary, new responsibilities. Try to view the the next few years as a time for research and learning (about both your parent's beliefs, as well as other cultures, religions, and topics you know little or nothing about at this time), and then you might not feel that you are committing yourself to accepting these beliefs, but only learning about them to make a decision at a later time. That might seem like less pressure.
I think it is a real shame that you have to alternate schools each year. I moved around a lot when I was a child, and know how difficult it is to constantly adjust. As others suggested, try to convince your parents to let you finish school in one location, and spend summers and holidays at the other location. That might help A LOT!
No matter what your parents decide, YOU should decide that this is just a temporary situation. Plan to take advantage of any opportunity you are offered with an eye to how it will help you make the ADULT life that you want to begin in a few years. Look for one or more trusted adults as mentors and support. And come here for additional support whenever it is needed.
Good luck - you really deserve to grow in your own way, and to become a productive member of society who can seek your own brand of happiness as you grow. It won't be easy, but it certainly is possible, and it seems like you have a good start!
Although agnostic myself, I believe that your religious beliefs will have to be only your own, after you do a lot of research and learning about various religions, and decide what you feel deep down is right for YOU. Nobody else can truly make those decisions for you. Try to remain open to learning about everything you can when you are still young, so you can make an informed decision about what you believe, what you want, and who you really are, once you become an adult and are responsible for all of your own actions and decisions. Whether or not you eventually decide to accept your parent's beliefs as your own, try to respect them, and, at least for now, accommodate their requests as best you can. In a few short years, both their demands, as well as their financial support, will diminish considerably. It will be a time of both liberation, and surprisingly scary, new responsibilities. Try to view the the next few years as a time for research and learning (about both your parent's beliefs, as well as other cultures, religions, and topics you know little or nothing about at this time), and then you might not feel that you are committing yourself to accepting these beliefs, but only learning about them to make a decision at a later time. That might seem like less pressure.
I think it is a real shame that you have to alternate schools each year. I moved around a lot when I was a child, and know how difficult it is to constantly adjust. As others suggested, try to convince your parents to let you finish school in one location, and spend summers and holidays at the other location. That might help A LOT!
No matter what your parents decide, YOU should decide that this is just a temporary situation. Plan to take advantage of any opportunity you are offered with an eye to how it will help you make the ADULT life that you want to begin in a few years. Look for one or more trusted adults as mentors and support. And come here for additional support whenever it is needed.
Good luck - you really deserve to grow in your own way, and to become a productive member of society who can seek your own brand of happiness as you grow. It won't be easy, but it certainly is possible, and it seems like you have a good start!
BobbyHill
New member
Nobody could say it better than Kathy, IMO.
Hang in there, John! Life may seem overwhelming but as always, you will make it through. There will be a time when you will be able to control more aspects of your life.
For now though, it sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders and I would suggest having a private conversation with your dad about him pressuring you to go to church. You've made some really mature, positive arguments in this thread and I've got one more for you... In my opinion, religion is all about personal choice and as a word that gets tossed around a lot, "faith". I think your dad needs to realize that a whole belief system can't be forced upon you. You're clearly smart enough to choose for yourself at this point.
Hang in there, John! Life may seem overwhelming but as always, you will make it through. There will be a time when you will be able to control more aspects of your life.
For now though, it sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders and I would suggest having a private conversation with your dad about him pressuring you to go to church. You've made some really mature, positive arguments in this thread and I've got one more for you... In my opinion, religion is all about personal choice and as a word that gets tossed around a lot, "faith". I think your dad needs to realize that a whole belief system can't be forced upon you. You're clearly smart enough to choose for yourself at this point.
I know. This is horrible.
I'm old and gray, but I went through this 2 weeks ago.
It started with my mom dying from a horrible kind of cancer, (Multiple myeloma, where your bone marrow basically attacks your bones from the inside and they break for no reason.)
Watching her suffer through the last 2 weeks of that was about as much as a person should ever have to bear, but as I had to help with the funeral, it became obvious that they wanted me to be someone I'm not to appease my very traditional CRC family.
There will be occasions that you will have to put on a good face and lie through your smile, but you will always have to be true to yourself. It's tough.
It gets easier to know what people expect from you as you get older, but it never gets easier to do something you don't want to.
The thing to remember is that when it's all said and done, you are gonna have to live with the decisions you've made, and it's your life. If you live a lie, when you get a chance to move out on your own, you will be a stranger to yourself.
Lesson, from Shakespeare.
1 Know thyself.
2 To thine own self be true.
I gotta tell ya, I hate to see good people going through bad times.
But invariably, it happens to all of us. All at once. Others don't see what's happening, they just see how we are acting, and remember how we made them feel.
Here's a small dose of truth, to brighten your day. The best of luck to you, my friend.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html
I'm old and gray, but I went through this 2 weeks ago.
It started with my mom dying from a horrible kind of cancer, (Multiple myeloma, where your bone marrow basically attacks your bones from the inside and they break for no reason.)
Watching her suffer through the last 2 weeks of that was about as much as a person should ever have to bear, but as I had to help with the funeral, it became obvious that they wanted me to be someone I'm not to appease my very traditional CRC family.
There will be occasions that you will have to put on a good face and lie through your smile, but you will always have to be true to yourself. It's tough.
It gets easier to know what people expect from you as you get older, but it never gets easier to do something you don't want to.
The thing to remember is that when it's all said and done, you are gonna have to live with the decisions you've made, and it's your life. If you live a lie, when you get a chance to move out on your own, you will be a stranger to yourself.
Lesson, from Shakespeare.
1 Know thyself.
2 To thine own self be true.
I gotta tell ya, I hate to see good people going through bad times.
But invariably, it happens to all of us. All at once. Others don't see what's happening, they just see how we are acting, and remember how we made them feel.
Here's a small dose of truth, to brighten your day. The best of luck to you, my friend.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html
danielle
New member
Sorry to hear about your mom I know how hard these few weeks must have been and I am sure now they aren't any easier. I cared for my grandmother while she struggled with lou gehrigs disease for years. She passed away almost three years ago and though its become easier I still can't believe she is really gone for good. Good luck to you!
LostNFound
New member
Dude, Honestly I read this when you posted and couldn't find the words. I can ONLY imagine what you may be going through. Your peers, your family, and most assuredly within yourself. Mormons and Catholics ... neither is known for their acceptance of other denominations. I grew up Southern Baptist, my daddy is a preacher. My mother and father have ALWAYS been supportive of me and my life. I married a Jewish man and now my hubby and I, 8 years later, are "converting" to Seventh Day Adventist. My parents are fully supportive... my grandfather... good GRAVEY he hasn't been too pleased with my decisions! He is a rough old man set in is VERY Southern Baptist ways EEEK! LoL
Speaking only about the God/ religion issue ... Your family MUST be told what it's like to be pulled in 2 directions. They need to understand where you are coming from. I told my parents growing up how I felt about religions and denominations of Christian beliefs. I truly believe that is why they support decisions I made in the past and the decisions I make now. Sometimes you just have to get down and dirty and deal with those parents my friend.
Second ... This Therapist issue PLEASE FIND A NON-CHRISTIAN one!! I Can't believe they told you to go to church!!! I could SLAP people like that! I am a Christian and I do attend church but I also have a battle with depression and it can't be fixed just by walking in a church's doors and knelling to pray! That is NOT the plan He has for me... I guess.
Last but NOT least is .... you are 14 ... this back and forth stuff can have serious negative effects on you. It could cause issues with you building long term healthy friendships/ relationships in the future. It needs to stop. If your parents won't listen call someone in the legal system and get someone to represent you! A non-biased therapist could help you line all this up and will see the danger in this situation.
You are a smart kid ... I always forget I am reading a 14 yo's posts when I read them. There is NO reason, that I can see, why you won't be able to fully explain what this is all doing to you to someone that can actually help you obtain a stable situation.
My heart goes out to you! ((((HUGS)))) I Hope you can get what you NEED to feel better!
Speaking only about the God/ religion issue ... Your family MUST be told what it's like to be pulled in 2 directions. They need to understand where you are coming from. I told my parents growing up how I felt about religions and denominations of Christian beliefs. I truly believe that is why they support decisions I made in the past and the decisions I make now. Sometimes you just have to get down and dirty and deal with those parents my friend.
Second ... This Therapist issue PLEASE FIND A NON-CHRISTIAN one!! I Can't believe they told you to go to church!!! I could SLAP people like that! I am a Christian and I do attend church but I also have a battle with depression and it can't be fixed just by walking in a church's doors and knelling to pray! That is NOT the plan He has for me... I guess.
Last but NOT least is .... you are 14 ... this back and forth stuff can have serious negative effects on you. It could cause issues with you building long term healthy friendships/ relationships in the future. It needs to stop. If your parents won't listen call someone in the legal system and get someone to represent you! A non-biased therapist could help you line all this up and will see the danger in this situation.
You are a smart kid ... I always forget I am reading a 14 yo's posts when I read them. There is NO reason, that I can see, why you won't be able to fully explain what this is all doing to you to someone that can actually help you obtain a stable situation.
My heart goes out to you! ((((HUGS)))) I Hope you can get what you NEED to feel better!
wade
Save The Humans
Caz223 I just read this article that you linked to. I hope everyone else does as well. It is kind of long but I think it was an outstanding article.
metallica fish
New member
become a devil worshiper!!!
that will suprise them!
but in all seriousness, do what the hell you want. its your life. your just gunna be worm food when ya die. binge and purge! have fun in life
that will suprise them!
but in all seriousness, do what the hell you want. its your life. your just gunna be worm food when ya die. binge and purge! have fun in life
metallica fish
New member
me?
did i do good? :licklips:
did i do good? :licklips: