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Off Topic Consequences; A Story. *Your* Story......

medusacoils said:
He apologized for his indiscretion and promised to use better judgment next time. The Mr. of the house, wasn't buying it. He grabbed wade by the collar and dragged him into the garage. He told Wade that he better......
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......reveal to him the secret of his virility, which had traumatized the dog, impressed the missus, and killed the begonias in the second floor balcony begonia garden, or he would use the garden shears...and not on the dead begonias.....
 
Wade listened intently. He handed the gentlemen a small small bottle of little blue pills and said, "On the house!"

The man smiled and ran back inside, leaving Wade in the garage. Wade wiped the sweat from his brow, and walked back over to Lucille's house. Everyone was there and waiting for Wade to return. Wade walked in and went strait for the bar. He made himself a strawberry daiquiri, in the blender. He reached over to grab himself an umbrella and tipped over a pitcher of lemonade, right on Susan.

She turned to Wade, winked and said..........
 
medusacoils said:
Wade listened intently. He handed the gentlemen a small small bottle of little blue pills and said, "On the house!"

The man smiled and ran back inside, leaving Wade in the garage. Wade wiped the sweat from his brow, and walked back over to Lucille's house. Everyone was there and waiting for Wade to return. Wade walked in and went strait for the bar. He made himself a strawberry daiquiri, in the blender. He reached over to grab himself an umbrella and tipped over a pitcher of lemonade, right on Susan.

She turned to Wade, winked and said..........
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"So how's the mouse-iri?" and smirked. Wade looked down in horror and saw, not strawberry seeds, but little paws that had been missed by the blender. It, unfortunately, was not a BlendTec blender, so could not accommodate the half thawed rodents.

Furious with himself for, yet again ingesting mouse-tainted liquor beverage, ......
 
RobbiesCornField said:
"So how's the mouse-iri?" and smirked. Wade looked down in horror and saw, not strawberry seeds, but little paws that had been missed by the blender. It, unfortunately, was not a BlendTec blender, so could not accommodate the half thawed rodents.

Furious with himself for, yet again ingesting mouse-tainted liquor beverage, ......
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he began to cry. He has been trying to give up mouse flavored liquor for years. Danielle ran over to comfort him. She hugged him tightly and said.......
 
medusacoils said:
he began to cry. He has been trying to give up mouse flavored liquor for years. Danielle ran over to comfort him. She hugged him tightly and said.......
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"Please don't cry!" Wade looked at her and realized that he was acting foolish. Eric walked over and saw the brief ordeal. He shook Wade's hand and asked him how he was doing. Wade just stared at him and gave no answer. Eric, feeling a little puzzled and odd, pulled his hand back. Eric walked away, briskly.

Wade downed the remainder of his mouse daiquiri and quickly grabbed a beer out of the cooler. He took his shirt off and made his way over to the radio. He had a CD in his pocket and placed it in the radio. Quickly the radio began playing music and Wade began doing the.............
 
medusacoils said:
"Please don't cry!" Wade looked at her and realized that he was acting foolish. Eric walked over and saw the brief ordeal. He shook Wade's hand and asked him how he was doing. Wade just stared at him and gave no answer. Eric, feeling a little puzzled and odd, pulled his hand back. Eric walked away, briskly.

Wade downed the remainder of his mouse daiquiri and quickly grabbed a beer out of the cooler. He took his shirt off and made his way over to the radio. He had a CD in his pocket and placed it in the radio. Quickly the radio began playing music and Wade began doing the.............
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the "Macarena". His pasty white body moving, surprisingly, quite impressively. As everyone watches Wade dance, Lucille asks "Does anyone else want some tacos?"

As She heads off to the kitchen, the doorbell rings and it is...
 
Rich in KY said:
the "Macarena". His pasty white body moving, surprisingly, quite impressively. As everyone watches Wade dance, Lucille asks "Does anyone else want some tacos?"

As She heads off to the kitchen, the doorbell rings and it is...
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Simon Cowell, from American Idol. He was driving by and saw Wade, doing the Macarena with his shirt off, from the window, and had to meet him. It was the best Macarena, he has ever seen and he would like to talk to Wade about............
 
Peeing in his Laundry..
"Wade I know you are man about town, would you like to pee in my Laundry??"
He said with a heavy sigh/
 
Wade laughed out loud. He picked Simon up by his throat and threw him on the couch. Wade began to breath deeply and his eyed yellowed. His skin turned green and his muscles swelled. His clothes stretched and ripped from his body. He picked up Simon and flung him threw the window. Simon landed on his car, in a bloody puddle. His body limp.

Wade quickly calmed down. His skin changed back to normal and he began dancing again. Now the chicken dance was on. He quickly got into it.

All the visitors to Lucille's house, were amazed and....
 
Meanwhile, in another part of the house, Susan had found Eric congratulating the birthday cat. Susan snapped a spiffy purple party hat on his head and said, "Hey there, Eric, glad you made it to Sphincter the Wonder Cat's birthday. Let me show you Lucille's new . . . "
 
sweet~nichole~marie said:
Meanwhile, in another part of the house, Susan had found Eric congratulating the birthday cat. Susan snapped a spiffy purple party hat on his head and said, "Hey there, Eric, glad you made it to Sphincter the Wonder Cat's birthday. Let me show you Lucille's new . . . "
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leather collection! She loves patent leather pants! I am going to see if she will put a pair on.

Susan approached Lucille and asked about her pants. Lucille got really excited. She ran to her bedroom, to get a pair. When she returned, she was wearing blanket and said......
 
medusacoils said:
leather collection! She loves patent leather pants! I am going to see if she will put a pair on.

Susan approached Lucille and asked about her pants. Lucille got really excited. She ran to her bedroom, to get a pair. When she returned, she was wearing blanket and said......
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"Ta da! What do you think?" Lucille did a twirl, showing off her new pants.

Suddenly, Robbie and Tony showed up. "See," Robbie said excitedly, "I knew I heard the sound of new leather! Lucille, those are fabulous! They would go perfect with my . . . ."
 
sweet~nichole~marie said:
"Ta da! What do you think?" Lucille did a twirl, showing off her new pants.

Suddenly, Robbie and Tony showed up. "See," Robbie said excitedly, "I knew I heard the sound of new leather! Lucille, those are fabulous! They would go perfect with my . . . ."
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Wussie Gloves!" He shouted!

"I wear them all the time!" he explained.

He then reached in his backpack and pulled out his....
 
...Burmese Python, and provoked it to bite. "Look" he shouted... "My wussy gloves really do work". "But what about the grip" Lucille Replied, "How do you plan on getting him off?" Eric quickly jumped in with....
 
Michael823 said:
...Burmese Python, and provoked it to bite. "Look" he shouted... "My wussy gloves really do work". "But what about the grip" Lucille Replied, "How do you plan on getting him off?" Eric quickly jumped in with....
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...the probulator that Rich had dropped, figuring a good probing will make the python release his grip on Robbie's wussy gloves. The python saw what was about to happen, released Robbie and quickly slithered up to the bar in hopes that a small amount of the mouse daiquiri remained as he really needed a drink.

Suddenly, there was an eerie scratching noise at the window. The room hushed, the lights flickered, and the outline of a body could be seen standing just outside the window. It was....
 
The sound of "Let's Do the Time Warp Again" started to echo through the rooms of Lucille's house and everyone gathered had the sudden urge to jump to the left, step to the right, put their hands on their hips, and pelvic thrust!

Then, a loud crash was heard from the backyard . . .
 
sweet~nichole~marie said:
The sound of "Let's Do the Time Warp Again" started to echo through the rooms of Lucille's house and everyone gathered had the sudden urge to jump to the left, step to the right, put their hands on their hips, and pelvic thrust!

Then, a loud crash was heard from the backyard . . .
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.....a Volkswagen Van full of CS.com guests had smashed through Lucillle's privacy fence (for her all-over tan) and crashed into her pool.....
 

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Unfortunately, she already had a busful of the rougher, tougher, louder FaunaClassified group there, and the rumble started almost immediately....
 
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