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Spanking, studies show it does more harm than good

I don't spank (unless its requested;), sorry couldn't resist. That said, 4 kids 3 so far have not required it, just because they've been that awesome. Not that I never had to discipline them, but it was far and few between. Now I lay the disclaimer that my first 3 have been girls, all responsible, respectful, academic, well mannered children (and one of them a young adult). The 4th... is a boy. I reserve the right in case its required for this one. :)

I won't enter the Dr. Spock laden philosophical debates regarding "the need" or lack there of simply because those arguments are typically started by people too insecure in their own beliefs that require the need to be heard and vilified.. best of luck to them as they typically give rise to the problem children of the world.
 
TwinBlades said:
I respect your freedom to chose for yourself, Now respect the freedom of others.
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Regardless of whether or not you found my post "disrespectful" or not, your logic is flawed in your request... I should "respect" someone's "freedom to chose" because you respect mine. Uhm no thanks, not how I work.

I appreciate the finger wagging though.
 
I admit, I'm no expert on the subject of spanking or not spanking. I do however listen to the experts and the studies they have done. I equate spanking with physical and emotional abuse of children and you have as much right to do that in my mind as you have a right to rape or murder. Sure, there may be laws allowing it and as long as it is allowed there will be people willing to do it. Thankfully, at least 30 other countries acknowledge that spanking really isn't the best way to get children to behave and have outlawed it. Imagine how horrible all of those children must be in those countries.
 
Carpe Serpentis said:
I equate spanking with physical and emotional abuse of children and you have as much right to do that in my mind as you have a right to rape or murder.
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Lol, you've done an OK job so far, but you're reaching new depths in the lack of subtlety in your troll-bait. That material will only garner you the low hanging fruit.
 
i_like_where_this_thread_is_going_again.jpg
 
So now we are in the same boat as rapist and murders because some of us believe in spanking and disciplining our children.

Wow... first we are all delusional, blind and now rapist and murderers.

Maybe if we refrain ourselves from in indulging Carpe he might go away... I do have a feeling he is turning into a lavender.
 
At the risk of restating the obvious, I've highlighted and bolded some information that you may have overlooked.

"Many studies have shown that physical punishment — including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children. Americans’ acceptance of physical punishment has declined since the 1960s, yet surveys show that two-thirds of Americans still approve of parents spanking their kids."

"Evidence of harm
On the international front, physical discipline is increasingly being viewed as a violation of children’s human rights. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child issued a directive in 2006 calling physical punishment “legalized violence against children” that should be eliminated in all settings through “legislative, administrative, social and educational measures.” The treaty that established the committee has been supported by 192 countries, with only the United States and Somalia failing to ratify it.

"Around the world, 30 countries have banned physical punishment of children in all settings, including the home. The legal bans typically have been used as public education tools, rather than attempts to criminalize behavior by parents who spank their children, says Elizabeth Gershoff, PhD, a leading researcher on physical punishment at the University of Texas at Austin.

“Physical punishment doesn’t work to get kids to comply, so parents think they have to keep escalating it. That is why it is so dangerous,” she says."

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

It saddens me when so many think that a lively debate is not also a very good chance to learn and to grow. This is an issue I hold near and dear to my heart, and as I have said, I'm no expert. Much of this information I have only been exposed to as my wife has a double bachelors in psychology and sociology with a minor in criminology. I could of course go through her texts and find more information and cite college textbooks on the same matter, but if your not going to listen to these studies showing additional sources for the same isn't going to help. For those interested in knowing more, the information is out there.
 
Carpe Serpentis said:
“Physical punishment doesn’t work to get kids to comply, so parents think they have to keep escalating it. That is why it is so dangerous,” she says."
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Yet none of the people that I know, that spank their children, have ever run into this. In fact, their kids are some of the most respectful kids that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Yet some of the most disrespectful children that I have ever met are ones that have never been spanked, and when meeting their parents (too afraid, or don't believe in spanking) they too are extremely disrespectful to many others around them, so it is understandable how their children grew to be that way...

On the other hand, as mentioned previously in the other thread, I have met some very respectful children who had never been spanked before in their lives.
But, the type of punishment depends on the child. Some children do not respond at all to having things taken from them for their actions, and only "buck up" when spanked. Just like some children (my brother in laws) do not respond to being spanked, and only "buck up" when something that they want, or want to do, is on the line.
 
I believe that a disciplinary spanking is different than beating a child. I also feel that not every disciplinary action needs to be a spanking. For example say i see my son throw a rock at a car and break a car window i would probably spank his behind and let him know what he did was wrong and why. Now if he is getting bad grades in school i might say something like until you bring your grades up there is no more playstation or what used to hurt me more than any spanking you cant go outside and play. I believe as a parent all we want to do is give our children the best possible life possible and help them grow into mature responsible human beings. I believe we all also ( at least i do) that we should raise our kids the way we were raised but even better. At least I know i do i want to raise my kids the way my mom a single mother raised me but better. I feel like I can pick and choose from how my mom raised me and I know what worked and what didnt work from her actions. I will say i am the oldest child and by far the one who has given my mom the most headaches and got my butt whooped way more than any other of my siblings but once again i say i deserved it matter of fact i can still to this day remember just about everyone i received AND why I got spanked that says something. Not to mention unlike my brother and sisters I grew up very poor when we first moved here from puerto rico and i had plenty of chances to go sour if it wasnt for my mom and how she disciplined me from spanking to grounding etc. But bottom line to each his own NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO TELL SOMEONE ELSE HOW TO RAISE THEIR KIDS!
 
I understand this is a heated topic. I'm simply trying to present some scientific evidence in the hopes that some people may look a little deeper than what they may have been taught and perhaps come away with something positive. I once believed that spankings were good tools as well. I was spanked. I love my parents. Do I believe remember some of those spankings vividly? You bet. I remember one time my younger step sister got me to swap days we washed dishes so she could go out that night. I agreed, but when it came time for her to wash dishes on my night she told my father that I was lying and that we made no such deal. My father beat me with a belt because he thought I was lying. Each time he hit me, he would tell me that if I would come clean and tell the truth he would stop. Lying was a horrendous thing to my dad and worse than breaking a neighbors window. I wouldn't tell him what he wanted to hear as I was afraid that if he later found out I was lying and just told him what he wanted to hear to get him to stop beating me I would be in even more trouble. At the same time I was incredibly angry and would not cry no matter how long he beat me. I had bruises from the air holes in that leather belt and not just whelps from the leather. I never caved in. But the resentment and the anger grew. How could he not see I was telling him the truth with all the pain he was seeing me endure? On another day, I insulted him... and to be honest I was acting out. He hit me one good time and I honestly felt worse than I did when I received that long beating with the belt because I had upset him and honestly did feel like I had done wrong that time. With me, the look of disapproval that he gave as he hit me did more than the beating with the belt and the hit combined. That is the honest truth for me. I know all the studies in the world and all the personal experiences in the world will not change some people though and they will continue to live and to believe that spanking is the best way to get children to behave. The truth of the matter for me is reflected in those studies I have tried to share with many of you. Be that as it may, I realize much falls on deaf ears.
 
No one should tell a parent how to raise their child. If they want to beat the tar out of their kid and they think it is okay then that is all that matters. Let the beatings begin. Logic and reason? Who needs those things when we can beat our children into submission. Patience and love? Who needs those things when a beating can get things done so much faster?
 
I think you are missing the point that spanking does not equal beating. Like... They're not even remotely the same.
 
See that i can agree with I have also received punishment without fault and that is where i say there is a difference between beating and spanking and knowing the reason. These are the type of things i meant when i stated in my post being like our parents better and knowing what did and didnt work. But i will say you did see the reason for the second one which came with just cause. We as parents have to learn how to differentiate the 2.
 
Carpe Serpentis said:
No one should tell a parent how to raise their child. If they want to beat the tar out of their kid and they think it is okay then that is all that matters. Let the beatings begin. Logic and reason? Who needs those things when we can beat our children into submission. Patience and love? Who needs those things when a beating can get things done so much faster?
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Your logic astounds me.

Thinly veiled insults are insults none-the-less. But no worries, I understand. Those of us who have different beliefs on this subject, and others, are nothing but knuckle dragging apes, who are not evolved enough to see that letting our children run wild is the right way to do things... Not that, that mindset has led to the irresponsible, disrespectful youth of today or anything...
 
Another problem with beatings/spankings is that we are not always right. We are fallible. We may think we are doing the right thing for the right reason and we may not be. I honestly felt the worst from a disapproving look... beatings did nothing but instill anger and fear in me personally. I can't speak for how you or others may have felt, but I felt anger, fear, hostility... nothing I would want to emulate in other words. However, a disapproving look would actually make me swell up with tears as a child and feel remorse.
 
This thread is funny. I have not laughed so much in a long time. A study on spanking, what we need to a study on people who need to stick there noises in other peoples lives.
 
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