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When is it time to say goodbye?

attackturtle

attackturtle

Registered Superhero
These last few weeks have really sucked for me. I have a cat who has been there for me for years now to is getting old and its showing. It really sucks having to consider euthanasia. I have already answered the question but I wanted to post this to give hope to those who will assuredly be in my position someday in the future.

Shes old. I'm pretty sure we obtained her in 89. She lost all of her hearing 5 or so years ago and cant really see either. She can tell if you turn on a light. She can also tell if you walk near her if there is light behind you, other than that, she is blind. She has lost her sight very gradually. She sometimes walks into walls. She has a hard time smelling as well which really sucks for her. Her teeth have for the most part rotted away. She has not eaten dry food for 10 years. When I feed her, I have to use cat sign language. I tap her chest and then point at the food and she follows my finger with her whiskers to it. It went downhill 2 weeks ago, she started not making it to the litter box. I would find pee spots randomly around the apartment. Part of this I am sure is that we recently moved in July and she forgets the new layout. The "question" started coming up though. Is she suffering? Did she have a stroke? Must I let go to give her her dignity? I borrowed books on the subject from our library. I couldn't find one that mentioned deaf and blind cats. I have had many cats and have experiance with cats who had strokes. I am pretty sure she hasn't. I took her in almost 20 years ago and with that, I took on the responsibility every owner takes on. Complete responsibility for a fully Dependant animal. I love my cat. It hurts to even consider the question but I have a commitment to her. Its not fair to her to say goodbye just because she is an inconvenience to me. Does she still eat? Yes, ravenously. She will scream to wake me up for food. (Siamese) Is she in pain. Not from what I can tell. Does she still enjoy life? She loves to be held. She purrs and meows for attention. I could not go on with what was happening though. She is going to ruin my apartment. We bought 3 more litterboxes. All low to the ground. I also bought painter plastic liner. I put the litterboxes on the plastic liner for those occasions when she hangs over the edge as older cats sometimes do. (paper towels stay on the plastic for immediate miss identification and easier cleanup.) I set up all three in my office where she sleeps. When I am not home or it is nighttime, we keep the door closed and she is confined to my office. On weeknights and weekends, she has free roam. We got everything set up and I am very happy to say she hasn't hit my carpet for days now. She seems happier too. We would find her wandering around our apartment, seemingly lost. She doesn't do much of that when she is confined. She even seems to know how to find her way to the kitchen and then back to her bedroom without aid which makes me happy. It really seemed hopeless 2 weeks ago. I was sure we would have to let her go.

I will still know when it is time to say goodbye. If she stops eating. If she starts to experiance constant pain. If she becomes incontinent. I am not going to force her to suffer, nor will I force her to loose her dignity. It is easy to become selfish with a pet and there is a fine line you may have to walk.

Am I being selfish by forcing her to endure life in a horrible, possibly painful state?

Am I being selfish by ending her life because she is becoming inconvenient.

I believe I did everything right and thank god for every more day I can be with my baby. :cry: I know her time is coming...




 
Maybe the answer is, when her quality of life is something you would not want for yourself.

Hoping for many more quality days,

Nanci
 
I know what you are going through. This year I had to decide to say goodbye to one of my mom's cats, Pepper. As far as my sister and I could tell he was somewhere near 16-18 yrs old. But, he had developed bad arthritis in his hips and it was painful for him to move around. The final decision was made when his digestive system broke down and he was gonna have to be fed through an i.v. and a cancerous tumor was found on his back. He was a good boy. It still makes me sad.
 
I always dislike reading posts about saying goodbye to kitties. I've lost many cats through the years, most due to accidents or other misfortunes and only one through old age. We have two cats right now, one who is suspected to be in his teens (he was adopted and they weren't sure of his age) and one who is just over a year maybe two (I ferget). I hate the thought of losing either one for we have become so very attached to them both.

Mister, the older cat, we know he's getting up there in age as he's starting to have trouble with arthritis in his back hips. It doesn't seem to bother him too badly, but he doesn't jump up on the bed as much as he used to and he's slower getting down. I watch him closely because I fear he might take a turn for the worse and require a vet trip for care. (Which I will gladly do when the time comes.)

In some ways, our youngest worries me more because she has liver problems and has since we rescued her. We can't get her fixed because there is a chance she wouldn't survive. (She is an indoor only cat and is terrified of going outside. So, so far we've been at least two years kitten free in spite of her being 'intact'). I dread the day she takes a turn for the worse.

That said, I don't think less of you for holding onto your kitty for a while longer - especially since she's doing better now that you've made a few more accommodations for her. It takes compassion to care for elderly animals that need special care.

Hope she continues doing well so that you may share many more nights together.

Jenn
 
You know your cat better than anyone and you will know when her quality of life is poor. 18 years is good long life for a cat. Because of her symptoms, have you had your vet do some bloodwork to see if she is diabetic? Her symptoms suggest that as a possibility (ravenous appetite and increased/inappropriate urination). It is your decision as to how far you want to take things. Your vet can run some blood chemistries to not only check for diabetes, but also kidney failure and hyperthyroidism, 2 other common conditions in older cats. Those results may help you in your decision.
 
I had CAT Just like yours and i know its not easy knowing that soon its gonna be time to say good bye and to think we had to put our cat down to having a real bad sickness and would not have much time.is going to be hard. your not being selfish one bit its the matter of the snake not goin through anymore pain when you no its time to be in a better place its time. we no longer wanted our cat to be in such pain and i mean its not easy to let go but we knew it was teh right thing soo think about ti what do you think your cat would like best be in pain or a better place with no more suffering
 
It's always a difficult matter having to lose a good friend...as has been said, you alone know your cat the best, and will know when it's best for her to go.

My dog of eleven years and a good friend, London, had to be put down just this May...it's something I still find tears in my eyes over when I think of her. These losses never get any easier.

When I was fifteen our 13-year-old cat, Figaro, began to behave much as you're describing your cat's behavior, attackturtle. She started urinating in places outside the litterbox, and behaving in a disoriented manner. Then she was losing so much weight because she was unable to keep any food down. About a month after this, I found her outside the house in one of our window wells, having a seizure. My dad took her from there, and I never saw her again. I still wish I had closure for that, as Figaro had been a close friend and companion, someone to talk to when no one else would listen.

I wish you the best for your kitty, and the strength to make the decision when the time is right.
 
attackturtle said:
Am I being selfish by forcing her to endure life in a horrible, possibly painful state?

Am I being selfish by ending her life because she is becoming inconvenient.
Click to expand...
If the cat isn't in any apparent pain, I think the question comes down to which you think you'll be able to emotionally handle:

Holding your cat while the vet administers a drug that peacefully ends her life. It will be painless and peaceful, and your presence will reassure her as she fades into sleep.

or

You awake one morning or arrive home from work one evening to find your cat has died. She will have lived the maximum amount of days your care could offer her, and the end came when it had to.

I've experienced both. If possible, control the end of her days in a way that allows her to pass with as little pain and stress as you can offer. Make peace with your decision and prepare for the loss as best you can. Saying goodbye to a loved one isn't easy under any circumstances.
 
Thanks for the support everyone.



Susan said:
You know your cat better than anyone and you will know when her quality of life is poor. 18 years is good long life for a cat. Because of her symptoms, have you had your vet do some bloodwork to see if she is diabetic? Her symptoms suggest that as a possibility (ravenous appetite and increased/inappropriate urination). It is your decision as to how far you want to take things. Your vet can run some blood chemistries to not only check for diabetes, but also kidney failure and hyperthyroidism, 2 other common conditions in older cats. Those results may help you in your decision.
Click to expand...

Im actually doing this Saturday to see whats going on. I'll be so lucky if its something treatable.
 
The last cat we lost had a cancerous tumor on her neck when she was 18, which we had removed. As soon as she was recovering from the surgery, her kidneys failed. We decided that she was ready to go, and so her body was just giving out under her. We had her put to sleep, and for the last day or so, she didn't eat, drink, or move from her chair. It was still horrible to take her to her death, and instruct a vet to kill her, but I don't regret it. Hopefully you will be able to tell when they are giving up; it does not sound to me like yours has.

Good luck with the vet visit. Either way, I suspect she has had a great life by cat standards.

-Sean
 
well,, Update..
Took her to the vet 9/29 they took blood and said things were grim. He said he was surprised she was alive. He said she is severely underweight and depending on what the tests say, could be in pain depending on her condition.. He thought she had a thyroid problem



Tuesday, (last tuesday) test came back. I was busy working when he called but he said he was astonished at her blood test and that she is very healthy for her age and we can expect 1-2 more years. I called back twice last week but he was out of the office a lot. I still need to ask him about this weight situation. She is 5 pounds but has always been a very petite cat. She was a runt as a kitten. She is eating avg 12 ounces of cat food a day so I really dont know how there is not a problem if she is eating all of this food and is danger weight. 2 years ago, she was 7 pounds. They said she was a little underweight at that. Im considering just giving her a can of tuna once and a while. Any suggestions? I always hear about overweight cats. Shes such a little pig too. Real trash cat. She was about the same in May as far as lack of eyesight and she tipped over our trashcan and ate everything..

She is doing splendid with the multiple litterboxes. So well in fact that we are thinking about not locking her up when were not here just to try it out on a good day. She still has good days and bad days. The vet said it is just common dementia. She still has lots of good days so I am very happy.
 
So glad to hear that things are looking better then hoped for. Can't answer any questions about the weight issue though. We have one of them string-bean cats and she's lucky if she weighs 7lbs. She eats everything in sight too.

Hope she continues to do well for you.

Jenn
 
attackturtle said:
She is eating avg 12 ounces of cat food a day so I really dont know how there is not a problem if she is eating all of this food and is danger weight. Im considering just giving her a can of tuna once and a while. Any suggestions?
Click to expand...

That sounds just like what my 12-year-old cat, Sassy, is going through. Over the past month or so she's been eating like a hog; literally, every opportunity she gets she's in the kitchen begging for table scraps or any food at all (we have always kept her well-fed, but she's always been a light eater regardless). However, she's conisitently losing weight. Being the long-haired cat she is, though, it's hard to tell without picking her up to check her weight so we were surprised by the dramatic difference in her mass. Literally she's almost a pile of bones at this point!

We took her into our vet, and her blood panel came back perfectly normal in all areas except for an elevated white blood cell count that was through the roof. This was all about a week ago. Our vet said this was one of two things: an infection (which could account for the hunger), or else a form of cancer. If the zenequin she prescribed for Sassy hasn't had some effect in lowering the white blood cell count, then this isn't just an infection but instead it's cancer.

At least you got the thyroid ruled out. When I first began to read your update post, I'd started adding up her symptoms in my head as hyperthyroid. Good to hear she's doing well! I'm rooting for both our cats!
 
Sorry about posting a second post right after, but I'd totally forgotten that you'd asked about suggestions for a better food for your kitty, attackturtle! :bang:

At the animal clinic I work for, we use Hill's Science Diet pretty exclusively, and the various types of prescription Science Diet foods seem to work pretty well. The most common type people get for their cats (particularly ones that need to keep lean muscle mass and gain/keep weight) is called Feline/Canine A/D. The prescription Science Diet foods are only available through veterinarians, and they're a tad bit more expensive, but I think they're worth the extra cost. You might want to ask your vet about that, though. Just my two cents. :)
 
I feel your pain...both of my cats are about 14 or 15 and I just keep watching themand am fearful when they are going to start to go downhill. I know it is bittersweet for you right now, and I know you'll do your best to give your kitty the greatest care you can and when the time comes, you'll know. The love you have for the cat will show you what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. Enjoy the time you have.
 
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