Conflict is advantages

[Snakes Incorporated]

I believe that conflict is where we all learn from one another.

Though we sometimes over react or under react to opinions that we do not agree with. We should be respectful of others and behave accordingly.

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

 

[wade]

I believe discussion and debate are a good way to learn. I find your posts to be confrontational and argumentative, I am assuming that is why you chose to use the word conflict.

 

[bitsy]

You can present an opposing point of view without being abusive - that's a mature and useful debate rather than conflict.

If your stance is aggressive, it just makes the other person less likely to pay attention to what you're saying. It shifts the focus to the way you're speaking. Being confrontational and provoking conflict actually distracts from what you're trying to say and makes a useful outcome less likely.

Just takes a bit more thinking time before your finger hits Reply.

If I find someone overly aggressive to the point where they're just picking fights, then I use the Ignore function. This means that I can't see what that person has posted unless it's quoted by somebody else. It has a very beneficial effect on my blood pressure whilst still allowing me to be involved in discussions.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

Conflict is diversity which is what the basses of a forum is supposed to represent. Its not the question but the way you choose to answer it.
If you wish to take bitsy`s advise and imagine that everyone is in happy agreement singing the same tune you may as well just not get up in the mornings and stay in dream land.
Enough about me thanks. The question still stands.

 

[Emily1188]

Disagreement leading to thoughtful discussion is wonderful.

Sarcasm, antagonism, and the like (all things I've been guilty of at times) are generally counter-productive.

I don't think Bitsy was claiming any differently, or suggesting that we should all "sing the same tune". Rather, we should treat each other with respect when we DO disagree.

 

[wilomn]

Disagreement leading to thoughtful discussion is wonderful.

Sarcasm, antagonism, and the like (all things I've been guilty of at times) are generally counter-productive.

I don't think Bitsy was claiming any differently, or suggesting that we should all "sing the same tune". Rather, we should treat each other with respect when we DO disagree.

Sort of depends on what your goals are. I think you've assumed that there is only one and that it is shared by all. This is not necessarily so.

And why, though I've asked a time or two previously, must one show respect to those who deserve none? Because it's "nice" or because it won't "detract from your point?" Again, not necessarily so.

Though by and large, here in this family friendly forum with many a tender hieny plopped in front of many a dusty screen, perhaps there is some merit to this "nice" and this "respectful" that so many talk of and "mostly" take part in themselves.

 

[Emily1188]

Sort of depends on what your goals are. I think you've assumed that there is only one and that it is shared by all. This is not necessarily so.

And why, though I've asked a time or two previously, must one show respect to those who deserve none? Because it's "nice" or because it won't "detract from your point?" Again, not necessarily so.

Though by and large, here in this family friendly forum with many a tender hieny plopped in front of many a dusty screen, perhaps there is some merit to this "nice" and this "respectful" that so many talk of and "mostly" take part in themselves.

Yes, I've mistakenly assumed that everyone is here to learn and share information.

Which, as has been demonstrated MANY times before, is not always the case, unfortunately.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

I don't think Bitsy was claiming any differently, or suggesting that we should all "sing the same tune". Rather, we should treat each other with respect when we DO disagree.

Emily from what I understand from Bitsy`s post is indifference depending on Bitsy`s personal point of view.

… there is some merit to this "nice" and this "respectful" that so many talk of and "mostly" take part in themselves.

This I agree with. I personally may not take a shine to a particular personality but I will try respect the opinion but don’t necessarily believe everyone has the right to my respect.

 

[Shiari]

Conflict is diversity which is what the basses of a forum is supposed to represent. Its not the question but the way you choose to answer it.
If you wish to take bitsy`s advise and imagine that everyone is in happy agreement singing the same tune you may as well just not get up in the mornings and stay in dream land.
Enough about me thanks. The question still stands.

Conflict does not equal diversity. There's a diversity of opinions here, including feeding schedules, vivs, and about morphs. For example, I don't care for most amels, lavenders, and ultramels. Other people think these are beautiful. There is diversity without conflict right there.
This forum is here for people to share information about a particular passion, not get into tantrums about things. Most people here are singing a simple happy tune... It goes "We like corn snakes!"... the rest may indeed differ. So I guess because I like corn snakes, and people on this forum I somewhat dislike also like corns I should not get up and do things with my corn snakes? I am moderately baffled.

Oh, wait, no I'm not. You're just a naturally contrary person. I'm off to work now, and when I come back I will once again be on this forum surrounded by other people singing the "yay cornsnakes!" song.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

…Conflict does not equal diversity. ..

Diversity = differences. Any difference = conflict.

 

[bitsy]

I certainly didn't mean that we should all agree on everything.

I meant that it is possible to disagree in a a civil and non-confrontational way. You can present your opposing view in a calm and objective manner. Sometimes you may not reach a concensus and you'll have to agree-to-disagree. Not every difference of opinion can be resolved, but even that situation can be handled with good manners and humour.

You can fundamentally disagree with someone, whilst retaining respect for them and speaking to them politely. It just takes effort.

 

[Lucille]

I believe that conflict is where we all learn from one another.

Of course it is. But, Inc. (Give us a name please :nyah in order to learn from another's experience, one must facilitate conflict so that people can join in and feel comfortable enough to contribute their point of view.

If either no one will say anything for fear of being pounded, or alternatively the entire room is busy pounding the stuffing out of each other, how can learning and growth take place?

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

If either no one will say anything for fear of being pounded, or alternatively the entire room is busy pounding the stuffing out of each other, how can learning and growth take place?

Lucille as I’ve said earlier. “It’s not the question that is the problem but the way it’s answered.” Controlled confrontation in my opinion is a good thing. We should embrace our differences and be allowed to express them respectfully within reason rather than have over controlling individuals making spot decisions without all the facts.
Please be kind enough to respond to my original question because everyone commenting on this topic has avoided the original question.

 

[Lucille]

We should embrace our differences and be allowed to express them respectfully within reason rather than have over controlling individuals making spot decisions without all the facts.
Please be kind enough to respond to my original question because everyone commenting on this topic has avoided the original question.

Inc, your two sentences are mutually exclusive. In the pink sentence, you allow respectful expression without controlling individuals making decisions, in the blue sentence you are telling me what I should do.....

 

[wade]

I believe discussion and debate are a good way to learn. I find your posts to be confrontational and argumentative, I am assuming that is why you chose to use the word conflict.

Mr Incorporated, I was the first person to respond to your "question" and I addressed it directly. I have seen you on three threads now and in each case it has been a case of you arguing and battling with whoever chose to respond.

As the eminent Mr Wes pointed out, not everyone is here to learn about snakes and we may not all be singing the same tune. There are those among us who bolster their own egos by talking down to others and trying prove themselves superior by talking others into a corner. Two of those types are on this thread now.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

... in the blue sentence you are telling me what I should do.....

Sorry Lucille you misunderstand my request. I respectfully requested that you be kind enough to answer the original question and in no way made suggestive remarks or implied any offence.
I did not "tell" but requested. I apologies if you are under some misguided impression I wish to offend you because I certainly do not.

 

[Snakes Incorporated]

Mr Incorporated, I was the first person to respond to your "question"….

Sorry Wade but you never answered the question.

… I have seen you on three threads now and in each case it has been a case of you arguing and battling with whoever chose to respond. .

Because I have a different opinion you are under the impression that I am confrontational. It is your right to believe anything you wish but your conclusion in my opinion is not accurate.

There are those among us who bolster their own egos by talking down to others and trying prove themselves superior by talking others into a corner. Two of those types are on this thread now.

What egos are you referring to? Please be a little more specific?
What two threads are you referring to and has it any barring to what is being discussed?

 

[wade]

I believe that conflict is where we all learn from one another.

Though we sometimes over react or under react to opinions that we do not agree with. We should be respectful of others and behave accordingly.

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

OK, you may not like this answer but understand that nobody is obligated to answer your questions no matter how important they may be to you.

As I said I think we learn for discussion and debate. I do not think conflict is the same thing nor is it necessary. I will amend my original statement to say that conflict is necessary when talking to you because you phrase your statements in a combative and offensive manner.

If conflict arises who is wrong? If conflict arises the person who elevated the discussion to the lever of a conflict is at fault in my opinion. When you become combative as we are now, learning and growing and sharing ideas come to a halt and the objective becomes to better the other.

Now I have answered your question and played your little game, and am now finished with you. You may go.

 

[Susan]

If a conflict of interest arises who is wrong. The individual that makes the first personalized rude remark at the other who reacts to it?

Your question can't be answered simply as each case is different and cannot be judged the same as any other. There are a myriad of viewpoints and opinions as to what is considered rude, profane, confrontational, etc, etc, etc.

The moderators of this site view each case by itself, sometimes letting things slide, sometimes issuing an infraction to one and not another based upon multiple factors, and sometimes, both/all individuals involved get infractions.

Now, you are not a frequent poster on this forum, and perhaps just don't visit frequently enough to understand exactly what type of forum CS.com is. This is not the usual forum on the internet. Many of our members consider this place their cyber home-away-from-home. Our membership, like many families, will have discussions ranging from the classic debate to almost all-out war. This forum is pretty good at policing itself and the moderators only have to step in when someone is causing obvious problems.

The mod team has been reviewing your posts of late, including this thread, and I for one am feeling that Amanda had you pegged.

 

[Shiari]

Diversity = differences. Any difference = conflict.

No, any difference does not equal conflict.

At work, we listen to classical usually. Sometimes we listen to celtic music (something I particularly enjoy) and sometimes we listen to rap (something I rather dislike). But other people like rap and so, we "share" our different music likes with each other, without conflict. We understand that we like different things, and that allows us to get along just fine. We don't get angry, confrontational, or annoyed. We don't argue over which music is better. We simply have differences of opinion.

Thus Difference =/= Conflict.