My wife hates snakes , but I convinced her to let me get one for my 40th birthday ( turn 40 this Nov ) and I finally got a baby okeetee last month . Now she has touched Eva a couple of times and I can tell that she is getting better with this hatred she has towards snakes . Education is the key with a lot of people who either hate snakes or fear them . She is even now getting interested watching her change colors as she get older and I very happy for her that she is getting more interested in my snake and I know one day she will hold her , that will be a great day !
My best friend is in his 50's and was never a huge fan of snakes. He didn't dislike them, and never killed them, but he never saw the point in keeping them as pets. His wife was absolutely terrified of them. This was before we met about 5 years ago...
His son bought a couple cornsnakes from me, so John wanted to meet this "snake guy". We got to talking, and he got to looking, and he got to holding a couple corns and kings. He was a photographer and I am a photographer, so we had that in cmmon, and I showed him some roadcruising pictures. He said he wanted to go.
2 years ago he helped me launch the Eastern Sierra Herpetology Club, his wife finally broke and allowed him to get a neonate BCI(which she now occasionally holds), and he has a genuine love and respect for all things reptilian. Sadly, he is getting close to dying from terminal cancer now, but the last few years, his support and enthusiasm for reptiles helped launch several conservation projects in the area, and this year, the herp club started compiling photographs and data for the publication of an Inyo County, CA field guide. None of this would have happened without his support and enthusiasm for each and every project.
Don't give up on your wife. Education and fascination goes a loooooooong way...