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Why can't people teach kids respect?!

My mother-in-law, who I have a strained relationship with, told me two things I’ll never forget.

#1) You can’t put a child on a schedule (when our kids were babies)
#2) You tell your kids “NO” too much.

I’m glad she isn’t raising them.

I guess there is really no wonder why our relationship is strained :)

Regards,
Steve
 
I believe being firm and not wishy washy. Rule number one to anything in life is consistency. You need to be consistent in discipline with children. So if they know if they do Blank, blank will happen to them.


if only all parents were like that the crime rate in teens would actually be alot better i believe
 
Thanks to all of you for your support and comments. Makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one out there that sees these things.

IMO At the time we took away the parents right to spank a child, Not beat, we started losing control of our children. Schools had to give detention and parents give time outs. With the kids I have, time outs are a waste of time for 2 of them. They wait til its over and oh well all done. But if I take things away and make them work for the things they want or privileges the behavior is more acceptable. I have one that all I have to do is look at him and he cries. But on the other end, if I give the one time out his world has ended. So see there are different ways to handle every situation. The parents have to be in tune with their kids and know what works and what doesn't.
Here is a prime example: My 8 yr old step son is smart and can do the work at school. But he is lazy. He spent all last year with his mother and she let it slide. (Hubby was in Iraq and his mom thought it would be better for hin to live with her until he came back) Allowing him to make all "F"'s, in first grade. Never punished him and had a million problems with him such as starting fires at her house. She also never spent much time with him, always gone or a new man there. She brought him to me at the start of this school year before dad came home. He has made nothing less than a "C" on his report card. We have some trouble some times with him just not doing his work and acting up a bit. But the teacher calls me every time and to the school we go. He gets home and he is punished and made to do his work. Period. We talk to all the teacher on a regular basis. I want my kids to have an education and they need to see we mean business.

The point is like some one else pointed out on here is this; the boys that did this will more than likely grow up to be useless. In and out of jail and produce more unloved undisciplined children. And that is a sad shame. These boys are only 12 and 14 I think. Sad Sad Sad.
 
Here is a prime example: My 8 yr old step son is smart and can do the work at school. But he is lazy. He spent all last year with his mother and she let it slide. (Hubby was in Iraq and his mom thought it would be better for hin to live with her until he came back) Allowing him to make all "F"'s, in first grade. Never punished him and had a million problems with him such as starting fires at her house. She also never spent much time with him, always gone or a new man there. She brought him to me at the start of this school year before dad came home. He has made nothing less than a "C" on his report card. We have some trouble some times with him just not doing his work and acting up a bit. But the teacher calls me every time and to the school we go. He gets home and he is punished and made to do his work. Period. We talk to all the teacher on a regular basis. I want my kids to have an education and they need to see we mean business.
Becky,
I personally think he will respect you for this when he gets older. I personally think Kids want some one to Guide them in life than having a friend.

The point is like some one else pointed out on here is this; the boys that did this will more than likely grow up to be useless. In and out of jail and produce more unloved undisciplined children. And that is a sad shame. These boys are only 12 and 14 I think. Sad Sad Sad.
Ha, I was thinking making them come to your place and clean snake cages. ;)

But seriously, I have heard that prisons that have tried having men take care and work with dogs to help the handicap has actually helped those Men with their behavior. I wonder if working with Corns could to the same?

I have offered my SO's 10 year old nephew to come over and help clean snake cages. He would like to know about snakes and how to care for them. Best way in my book is to have them clean cages and work with them that way. Feeding snakes is a joy for most kids, wait, to have a young boy spend his entire day feeding my collection may not be fun. lol
 
Arrggg this sort of thing annoys me SOO much, haven't read everyones replies I just quickly read the original post and HAD to reply.........my parents were rubbish parents and my brothers ended up in foster care, the only parental figures I ever had were my grandparents and they died when I was 5-8 and the rest of the time I lived with my uncaring parents.........yet I'm 19 and as much as I rebelled I have NEVER harmed or anyone or destroyed any property or stolen etc etc and I ALWAYS let people go in front of me in bus queues etc and always hold doors say my please and thank yous etc....but I wasn't taught ANY respect from my parents but I get satisfaction in knowing I don't blame my parents for the way I've turned out, I'm quite proud of how I've turned out, yes I can be a bit loud and mouthy but I ALWAYS have respect!! this is what annoys me about kids these days why aren't parents teaching their kids and why don't kids want to be respectful anyway!? sorry I'm half asleep and I don't think my rant makes much grammatical sense but it needed to be said :)
 
Cornsnakekid, you make me SICK dude! Children are neutral when they are infants! It's the parents who determine what kind of kid they will be! the infants feel pain during late term abortion! Yes, kids need to be taught respect, but making a generalization like that is not cool!

I say, if a kid does anything to you, deliver 5x to the parents and 2x to the kid. And then run like mad. Or just yank all the hairs off their mean little heads.
 
I am really sorry to hear what happened...I hope both the kids and their sad excuse of a father are brought to justice for this...
 
Cornsnakekid, you make me SICK dude! Children are neutral when they are infants! It's the parents who determine what kind of kid they will be! the infants feel pain during late term abortion! Yes, kids need to be tabortionught respect, but making a generalization like that is not cool!

I say, if a kid does anything to you, deliver 5x to the parents and 2x to the kid. And then run like mad. Or just yank all the hairs off their mean little heads.
Notice i said extreme late term abortion, as in from the ages of 2-8 years of age
 
I don't like the direction I feel this topic is about to take
I don't either.

cornsnakekid92 and Zany Chimp this thread was not for the type of discussion you are driving towards. I respect that each have your own opinions on the matter you are referring to. But I am asking you to please take the argument else where. Not on my post.

Thanks!

UPDATE TO THE OP--The police deff caught the boys and it is the 2 that were suspected. The police said the father has asked that I get estimates for the damage and he will pay for them. The police also said that if he doesn't pay, after saying he will, then we will prosecute to the fullest extent.
 
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I don't either.

cornsnakekid92 and Zany Chimp this thread was not for the type of discussion you are driving towards. I respect that each have your own opinions on the matter you are referring to. But I am asking you to please take the argument else where. Not on my post.

Thanks!
I agree whole-heartedly. You two have expressed your feelings quite well with your beliefs but I don't feel the OP wants it to go in this direction. It has nothing to do with abortion but how people don't/won't bring up their children the way they are SUPPOSED to. If the father of these two boys was more diligent with the upbringing and discipline of his children then maybe Becky wouldn't have to deal with the destruction and vandalism that occurred to her property just because the father chose or didn't care not to do what he was supposed to in the first place. I don't blame the kids 100% as I feel the father was just as much culpable as his children because he did not instill into his children what was right and wrong. If he had done so in the first place they would probably have the morals in knowing what was right and wrong and realize they would have consequences to their actions. I ask you please to validate the wishes of Becky by not taking this post in the direction it was not intended. Thank you.
Jay :cool:
 
I don't either.
UPDATE TO THE OP--The police deff caught the boys and it is the 2 that were suspected. The police said the father has asked that I get estimates for the damage and he will pay for them. The police also said that if he doesn't pay, after saying he will, then we will prosecute to the fullest extent.

That's good news! Good luck collecting, though.
 
I can tell you though that SOME people shouldn't have kids. As some of you know, my husband and I own a bike/skateboard shop (I'm at work now). About 4 or 5 years ago, a mother came in with her kids to buy them some bikes. The oldest kid, Michael (not his real name) was about 11 or 12 at the time. I have to say, in my business, I have seen ALOT of kids. Some brats, but mostly good kids. THIS boy scared the hell out of me. He had empty eyes, even at that age.

Over the next few years the mother would come in for bike parts, mostly tubes, skateboard parts...you know, the kind of stuff you get when you have kids. Everytime she would come in it was "Michael got mad and took a baseball bat to his bike", or "Michael got suspended AGAIN for swearing at the teacher", and in the very same breath would tell me ALL the reasons it wasn't Michael's fault!! It was always that he had ADHD, or that he had a condition that made it hard for him to respect authority and "no one at that school understands my son"!!

Once she came in, and in the presence of her sons told me that she *might* let the boys father see them...maybe. They had been divorced for years.

She came in about a year ago, and Michael was with her. She angrily told me that Michael was sneaking out of the house at night and roaming the streets. The police brought him home at 4 am one night. Then, with tears in her eyes, she told me that there had been a MURDER in her neighborhood, the night the police brought him home. What if the killer had hurt Michael?? She was worried sick!! And the whole time she was telling me this story, Michael stood there with a scary little smile on his face, as though the whole thing was quite amusing. She bought him everything he wanted that day, and left.

She came in again on Wednesday of this week. She told me that Michael had to go to Family Court on a charge of domestic violence. THEN she proceeded to tell me why it's all Michael's girlfriends fault!! She said that the girlfriend's mother SET HIM UP!! She then told me that after court, Michael had to go stay in Boys Town, that it was Michael's last chance. She said she felt awful, because he was so scared he cut himself over it. She said she came in to buy him some trucks for his skateboard because "skating is the only thing that makes him happy". When I asked what brand of trucks he liked, she called him at home to ask him. The next thing I heard was her shouting," Don't you use that language with me!". She gets off the phone and tells me that since Michael would like to pick out the trucks himself, she will bring him by later in the week!!

Gee, I can't wait!
 
UPDATE TO THE OP--The police deff caught the boys and it is the 2 that were suspected. The police said the father has asked that I get estimates for the damage and he will pay for them. The police also said that if he doesn't pay, after saying he will, then we will prosecute to the fullest extent.

Woohoo I almost hope he doesn't so yu can take it higher...it's the evil in me speaking.
 
Oddly enough i too was once a child

:laugh01:

YOU ARE A CHILD

This is not the place for the abortion discussion. That would very much need another thread... those worms are different from these worms and thus the can needs to be opened in another room.
 
Wow! Well my grandkids (one who is older then you) are out of control. My daughters say it is because I was so strict. I say to them it wasn't my job to be your friend, "it was my job to be your mother". You have by your choice or forced to take account for your actions and that's a good thing.

I wanted to rep you Susan, but I must spread it around some more I guess.. I was no Angel, but I got away with enough stuff as it is, however, when I was caught stepping out of line my parents were not my friends, they were and still are my parents.. I was made to hold personal accountability when I was brough home by the Police, period.. Yeah, I got my butt whooped on a few occasions, and I was not allowed to to behave as disrespectful as the kids do.. * Oh yes, I hear the smart remarks being said in the peanut gallery at this point...*

I was born into the Gen X era babies, but I am not Gen X nor do I embrace a lot of what GenX has had to offer.

Regards.. Tim of T and J
 
IMO At the time we took away the parents right to spank a child, Not beat, we started losing control of our children.

IMHO, that was the time when Political Corruptness started to settle in.. I am glad things are looking up a bit...

Again Regards.. Tim of T and J
 
TandJ;596395I was no Angel said:
Although I was never in enough trouble to be brought home by police..this is how my parents were. Granted I was not spanked often but when I was I knew it! (being only child for 19 yrs helps) And I knew what it was for. Never failed to think twice before repeating the bad deed. IMHO there is nothing wrong with a good hand on the backside once in a while if the child deserves it. But in this day and age parents fear losing their kids for abuse if they do or they would rather be their childs friend.

When I lived on a military base a friend of mines son got in trouble for back talking his mom. All started because she told her son to turn off the TV and go to bed. But he told his mom he would call the military police and tell them she beat him if she didn't let him finish the show. So..she got the phone book, found the number, handed him the phone and told him to call. But she also pointed out that by the time they got there they would have a reason to say she beat him. Needless to say he went to bed. LOL
 
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