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Getting over a break up?

tyflier said:
I wanted to regain my own confidence and my own self-esteem before I was willing to try meeting someone else.
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Now there's a good piece of solid advice. Take this time to really get to know yourself. Understand that your likes are just as valid as anyone else's. The last break up I went through was a big bad one, one that left me crying by myself all the time and feeling hopeless and alone. I realized though that my sadness wasn't even really about the person I'd been with. It was about me and my own insecurity.

Don't push things, just be yourself, and surround yourself with comfortable friends. Once you know and love yourself you may be ready to find another person to share your joy with, or you may not. By being true to yourself though if you do find yourself a special someone hopefully it will be someone you don't have to hide your true nature from. Someone you can go out and do all the things you "couldn't do before" with.

Last thing, I agree whole heartedly that contact with your ex must stop immediately. It halts the healing process and prolongs insecurities and false hopes. I know I didn't fully get over my last ex until I said "enough was enough" and stopped talking to him all together. Two years later I still don't really like to see him...


I hope your world becomes stable again soon!
 
You know what I figured out in my not-so-new state of Never Going To Be In A Relationship Again? I really, really like and am satisfied with my own company. I don't need another's input. Yeah, it'd be nice to have someone to cuddle with in the winter- but overall, I'm having a nice time doing my own thing.

About the no talking to the ex thing, I handled it like this: There were no personal e-mails, just friends things coming in- stuff he'd done, forwarded events and things he thought I might be interested in. Read and don't reply. Phone calls- don't return. Screen calls. Don't pick up. If you accidentally make contact, and are asked "Why didn't you return all my calls, don't you want me to call ever again?" I'd just say, "Oh, I've just been busy..." I wouldn't even make a big thing of it by drawing a line in the sand- No More Contact. Just be casually unavailable. Then it isn't such a big thing for you, either, and you don't have to feel like a failure if you have a short conversation now and then. The goal isn't to make an enemy for the rest of your life. Maybe someday, when you are in a happy relationship, you might be friends with your ex again.
 
I haven't read this thread....

but what I always say to folks going what you're going through is-

I really wish there was a magic word to make it all go away. But there isn't one. Truly time is the only cure. It does get better. Get out your chalkboard and write it down as a life experience and hopefully you've learned something for next time.:)

Best of luck (dive into your snakes)

Craig
 
Well I've been keeping very busy. I built a shelving unit... two really... to hold my herps. I moved all my tanks currently at home (half are still in the classroom) onto these shelves and am currently really enjoying the way things are looking!

Then today I went to the herp store to see about that Jungle corn. Last time I was there was in October. I told myself that if he was still there (and there's now way he could have been there, as pretty as he is) that I'd get him. And lo and behold there he was... so I am picking him up tomorrow evening.

In addition, I cleaned the chinchilla's shelves, did some dishes, called my aunt and set up a time for our family deal Christmas eve, and picked up the living room. Busy busy...

Tonight I am hosting a non-finned pets chat for the fish site I mod for. Site is Fish Geeks, www.aquaria.info if anyone's interested in stopping in. ;)
 
We could have jungle babies lol, since I just got a female, she is still on the small side. Her appetite is huge.
 
susang said:
We could have jungle babies lol, since I just got a female, she is still on the small side. Her appetite is huge.
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Well they call him a male at the store, and they did sell him as a hatchling, so perhaps they popped him then, I don't know. But at this point, he is quite large and I think the only way to know for sure would be to have him probed, and I cannot do that! So a boy he is until proven otherwise.
 
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