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I'm sorry..I need to vent a little here..I'm losing my mind..

Like Jen, I was out of work for a long time too. Even now, I just have a temp job. My motto now is never any refuse work that come my way. I'll do anything now. You just got to keep plugging along like you been. My thoughts are with you.
 
Yea..more venting...

I swear this is going to become my vent thread..I guess it at least saves space since I don't keep making new threads when I need to vent..heh..Well here it goes...

Joe might have gotten me a new job at a store close to us..so I will find out tomorrow if that is going to work or not. But now there is new trouble..My mom came into town from FL for the thanksgiving and christmas holidays..My room-mate (and used to be business partner) harry all of a sudden took off with my friend melissa..Now the thing is..whenever melissa gets alone time with any of my friends, all of a sudden they start to see the negatives in me..And sure enough this happened once again..Out of nowhere melissa started telling me about how she is distancing herself from me because she thinks I am a mean and selfish person..and harry agreed with her (this is just the other night when he suddenly came here to pick up his snakes..)..So then harry started bringing up how he heard me in the bedroom with my friend and I was moaning and he believes I was cheating on joe..Okay..first off this is none of his business if I was..which I wasn't even doing anything..So then he starts telling me how he doesn't trust me with his animals and how he thinks I will sell them for money from under him..He claims he doesn't trust me because I asked him one time if he would be willing to put his bearded dragon up for adoption (which I also asked my fiance to do so it wasn't just harry..and the reason I did it was because I didn't want to house and feed 3 adult bearded dragons..I don't have the money or space for that!) and because I asked him at one point if he would be willing to trade one of his ball pythons for a corn snake..(okay I asked him this because I knew he was already trying to sell that ball python anyway and also because I figured a breedable size corn would bring some money in for both me and Harry and would be a good start to our reptile breeding business)..But because of those 2 things..he claims he does not trust me..Also because he claims I am always trying to get rid of his cat..which in all honesty is not even his..I found the cat on the streets of newark..I brought her home, I bought flea treatment, ear mite treatment and worm treatment for her..I shared my home with her..I'm sorry but I feel this cat is just as much mine as his..but unfortunately this cat fights with my 2 cats and hates my dog..so no she cannot stay..

Harry claims he wants the cat to go to his sister..(who also has multiple cats..) This cat needs to be in a home where she is the only pet..but he is refusing to believe this..

Also Littlefoot (his baby bearded dragon) got a broken arm from one of the other beardies..now I used one of my tanks, my heat lamp and bulb, bought him a basking stone and have been rinsing his arm in peroxide and water every other night..Harry has not done anything to help this beardie with his injury..and before I got the proper bulb for him..Harry just put him in the tank with a small night light and said he would be okay for time being with that..This was an injured animal!! It needed to be kept as warm as possible! It needed the proper food!! (which I did buy for him)..But..Harry wants me to bring the beardie to his aunt's..saying he will receive the proper care there..I called his aunt tonight to make sure she knew I was coming and what she was getting into..When I told her the lizard had a broken arm and needed to eat about 20 crickets everyday and needed fresh escarole and collard green along with a calcium suppliment powder..she was caught back by it..So he obviously did not tell her everything she needs to know for this bearded dragon...

I just feel so powerless..melissa has turned another friend against me..harry no longer trusts me, the animals are suffering because of it..the beardie probably needs to see a vet, callie needs to get her shots and needs to get fixed..it's like I want to just speak up and say he can't have them but I know the beardie is his and I can't stop him from taking him..I am just hurting so much over all of this..I thought he was my friend..

I let him into my home, bought him groceries when I went shopping (with my money), helped him get a job, made sure he had food to eat, shared my reptile supplies and food with him..and all he can do is turn around and say that I have been selfish and that he doesn't trust me...I just don't understand how people can be like that..

Am I wrong for feeling so mad about all of this? Is he right in feeling this way..I don't know..I am so friggin lost in my mind right now...sorry..
 
1) Melissa is not your friend

2) Slow down, take a deep breath. Your life is like a soap opera now and that's not good.

What are your priorities? Stop worrying about the cast of characters you have surrounded yourself with, and start making plans for the way you want to live.

Good luck. Slow down and have a good Thanksgiving, then go from there.
 
Your right..I really need to step back and take a deep breathe...I'm getting way over my head here..I guess I have to give the beardie and the cat to Harry..they are his..and it's not that I don't think he won't care for them..I just don't know what will happen to them once they are gone..I'm more worried for the animals then I am for my own friends..but right now..I just want to work on my goals..and all this stuff getting in the way is just not helping..I just can't believe that people can be like this..it just hurts so much..when you trust a friend and are there for them and help them..and then they just turn on you like this...
 
Have you told Harry how you feel about the way he's treating you? If so, stop helping him. Does Harry pay rent? Is the place yours (As in, do you own it)? If not, is Harry on the lease? It sounds like it's time for Harry to leave.

As far as the cat and dragon go, you can't save everything. It sucks, but there's little you can do. You've said what needs to be done to properly care for these animals, but if they don't belong to you, there's not much else to be done.
 
Yes we do own the place..yes I have told Harry how I feel but it hasn't done much to change his mind..no he's not on the lease and yes he did pay rent (but sometimes had a hard time making the rent)..I do agree that I think it's time for him to leave as well..which I am sure will help me in the long run be much less stressed..
 
You've had a rough time in the past little while. IMO, it sounds like time to close ranks, and take care of your own.
That girl, Melissa? is not someone you should have contact with. You dont even owe an explanation. People like that are poison. There was this guy that was friends with my roommates girlfriend...he was a real creep. He told a bunch of people he'd slept with me, one night at a party. A party that i hadn't gone to! Even after that, and a few other times he talked about me behind my back, i was still polite, mainly to keep the peace with my roommate. One day it just clicked i didn't owe anything to this person who caused me nothing but stress, and cut off all contact. You'd be surprised how satisfying it is, knowing its a problem dealt with.
Here's hoping Harry takes care of his beardie. Whats important now is you and the people important to you...He's not interested in your help now, but more than likely he will be later on. For now, i think you should be focused on people who are a positive influence on your life.
as a friend of mine at work says...
Fluff the Fluffing Fluffers!!! (i may have had to paraphrase a little..:D)
 
Rosie I wish you lived in NJ..I really could use a friend like you..lol..you seem so nice and understanding..(EVERYONE else included as well)..I just wish I lived close to a lot of members on here..Thanks guys..I can't let my life become a soap opera and your right..it is becoming just that..
 
I completely understand what you are going through, trust me.. I have been going through some of the same stuff financially for about 6 months now. And I know, its like, just when you begin to see a hint of light at the end of the tunnel, another problem comes and darkens it again. You fix one problem and here comes another big one.. Its like dang will I ever get out of this hole.. You are not alone, so many are going through this. Just gotta stay strong and not let it bring you down completely and try as best as you can to keep your head above the water. Even if you are so financially screwed that you can barely survive, try to keep your head straight.. Cause honestly, thats the only thing that you can truly have control of in this time of need. And its ok to let yourself feel down sometimes, but don't let yourself get lost in the stress, the sadness, guilt or any emotion you may feel right now. That will never make anything feel better. Its hard, I know, really hard to cope right now, emotionally. But you just have to stay strong. And keep your mind open for ideas or ways to make money for get help for your situation. You will find little solutions here and there that will take a tiny bit of the pressure off of you, if only momentarily, but long enough for you to breath for a second. Long enough to say well thats fixed what next.. You know.. The lady at the power company (my power is currently shut off since I coult not afford to pay the bill) told me to look into the churches around the city as they have been doing a lot to help people out.. I am sure there are some in your area that may do the same. Just call around. On a positive note, since there are so many people struggling financially lately, there is also a lot of help coming available to people. Just search and search, talk to everyone you know about your problems, someone may know something that can help you out.. And as for your friends, well I can say this, its times like this when you realise who your true friends are. I really really hope that things get better for you fast. But no matter how long it takes, just remember that things will eventually get better as long as you keep your head up.. Keeping a positive focus will truly help you in the long run. Its like being in a really dark room, as long as you shed a little light, you can still kinda see. But without any light you'll pretty much get lost.

Keep your head up ok :) You can pm me if you ever need to to vent. But venting here is a great idea. And yes this is a great place to be, its like a big family. There is so much more to CS.com that you will never find anywhere else..
 
Maize411 said:
Rosie I wish you lived in NJ..I really could use a friend like you..lol..you seem so nice and understanding..(EVERYONE else included as well)..I just wish I lived close to a lot of members on here..Thanks guys..I can't let my life become a soap opera and your right..it is becoming just that..
Click to expand...

Thats such a nice thing to say! I've had my fair share of drama over the past little while. its only in the last year i've managed to figure out who the people are in my life that make it that way...trust me. once you figure out who your main 'issue makers' are (although in this case, it seems like you know who she is :rolleyes:) and limit contact (for me, total cut off of contact was needed, and worked wonders but its not always that easy)...things just start to unfold on their own.
I'm so glad you've found somewhere that you feel safe...its important to be able to let off some of the steam, so that you dont explode at another time when it might not be the best time/place.
((hugs)) my heart goes out to you.
 
Great advice so far!

The only thing I can think of to add is that there MAY be small silver lining to this fiasco. If so, it is that you are finding out who your real friends are (and ARE NOT) at a young age. If you would have invested a lot more time (and money in a business venture) with some of these "friends", then you would have been a lot worse off if they showed their true colors later, instead of now. Because you have seen them for what they are now, you can dump them with less of a loss than later. PLUS - you have learned early on what to look for to avoid toxic relationships. Some people never learn this, and go through their whole lives repeating this type of relationship. So hopefully, whenever your financial life improves, you will be starting over with less baggage in your personal life.

I hope you are able to cut ties with these people, and to realize that (as stated earlier), you can't take responsibility for every animal in the universe. You just have to be satisfied to know that you did your best for them, and don't feel guilty if that was not good enough. If they are not your animals, then you will not be able to do more for them. Chances are that they will be just fine, anyway.
 
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