Interesting article...

[Michael823]

I wonder....if I liked kids would I be nicer to David ( snakemaster)??............nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I always thought that people weren't nice to him because they had pent up frustration for teenagers of their own, and used him as the e-teenager punching bag so they could muster up a smile for their own children .

 

[starsevol]

I always thought that people weren't nice to him because they had pent up frustration for teenagers of their own, and used him as the e-teenager punching bag so they could muster up a smile for their own children .

You only joined in March....you don't remember the David we knew before he became the David he is now.....(I'm STILL wondering who has kidnapped the other one).....

 

[Ricky87]

You only joined in March....you don't remember the David we knew before he became the David he is now.....(I'm STILL wondering who has kidnapped the other one).....

Aerenlow's Avatar?.

 

[jenneses]

I'm childfree. I had my tubes tied last year, and it was the best choice I could have made for myself. My mom, while upset, was understanding and supported my decision (she even took me to the hospital to have the surgery). I've faced a lot of criticism for my choice, but I figure that while some may not understand, it's just not their decision to make. As for spending time with kids? I like it for short periods of time, I even babysit some of my friends kids (only the kids who I like, though).

But the best part? Is being able to leave when I'm bored, annoyed, or before I beat them with a bat.

 

[Hypancistrus]

I want to sleep in.

Yes, waking Tara in the middle of the night is somewhat akin to poking a large, furless hamster with bigger teeth and a bigger growl... i.e. not something one does if one wishes to survive the night.

*owe!* She just bit me! Seriously! Abuse!!! Someone call the SPCA!

You only joined in March....you don't remember the David we knew before he became the David he is now.....(I'm STILL wondering who has kidnapped the other one).....

True dat! Where DID he go...?

Aerenlow's Avatar?.

Okay, seriously... post of the year. Hands down. :cheers:

But the best part? Is being able to leave when I'm bored, annoyed, or before I beat them with a bat.

Yep. Sometimes at work I have to put my hands in my pockets. I still say it's a miracle so few teachers actually snap and try and strangle their students.

 

[ceduke]

Argh! This is a hot button issue for me. I hate kids. No, really. I can't stand being around them. I refrain from being snarky, I'm always polite, but I remove myself from situation with kids as quickly as I can.

This part...
The most common (and infuriating) response I've had to deal with when I told people I didn't want kids was "you'll change your mind when you meet the right man". There are no words to express the frustration I felt when told that. As if my mind, my decisions, my personal desires were nothing more than a whim, requiring the strength and influence of a man to bring me to my senses. My decision not to have children was well thought out, seriously considered, and adamant! I never wavered in the belief that it was my decision and nobody else's.

Is SO TRUE. I knew I had met the man I was going to marry when we had the 'kid' conversation and he told me he felt the same.

I had the Essure procedure (permanent sterilization without cutting) done over a year ago. My family still doesn't know, because my mom is one of those who is constantly saying "It's different when it's your own" "you'll change your mind" Blah blah blah blah....basically telling me that I don't know my own mind. Tell me, if I told her I wanted three kids would she question me? I think not. She has demanded that I not do anything permanent, so I never told her. Sigh.

Oddly enough, my grandma is completely supportive. If I thought she wouldn't tell my mom, I'd tell her about my sterilization.

That said, people who don't want kids having them because of pressure from other people is a BAD idea. My dad has told me often enough that he never wanted kids. I suspect that's why he became a violent, abusive alcoholic. He had us because my mom wanted kids, and he hated having kids from day one. Until I moved in with my husband, I had never lived in a place where I felt safe from physical violence.

Now that 2 kids are moved out and 1 is hardly home, he's gone from scary to a semi-decent human being.

 

[Bobo's Mama]

I'm happy to be almost 30 and child-free. I have every intention of staying that way too. I have very little maternal instinct. Mostly I am just so nervous and un-confidant around kids. They never listen to me. I'm absolutely terrible at disciplining them. I'd be a disastrous parent. The kid would walk all over me, I'm sure of it.

My boss is an inspiration to me. She met her husband when they were in college, back in the 80s, they got married, and never did have kids. Now she's 46 and having the time of her life. She is so active and does so much with her life.

In contrast, I also work with a lady who is the same age and has 3 daughters, 15, 17, and 20. Its just a constant battle with her and them. She is so stressed out and strung out. I feel so bad for her sometimes. She's never at peace. They are always up to something. No thanks. I'll leave the baby-making and child-rearing to someone else.

My ex wanted kids really badly. He had some weird ideas about birth control and stuff. He considered each birth control pill I took as a possible baby. He would even call them my, "no baby pill". and always try to guilt trip me about them. It was the smartest thing I ever did in that relationship, was not have kids with him.

 

[Hypancistrus]

Lately I have been seeing the worst of kids... and with school starting it's not going to get better.

My mother, sister and I were at a Red Robin restaurant for lunch the other day, and there was a 10 or 11 year old boy sitting between his mom and dad in a booth, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs "Let me out! Let me out!" because he wanted to get up and run around like an idiot. I mean, literally screaming, so loud that we couldn't hear each other talk at our table.

How is this okay? The staff and management at the restaurant didn't say ANYTHING to the parents, and the parents didn't DO anything. They had already ordered food, and I guess walking out would have meant paying a bill for no food... but why wouldn't the management have said "You need to control your bundle of joy, or get the hell out."

A few months ago, two smaller boys were lying on the floor of the Walmart checkout aisle, wrestling and beating on each other. An employee came over and said "Hey, you guys can't do that here! Stand up and behave!" and the mother came rushing over and started cursing out the store employee, "Don't you talk to my boys!"

I wanted to say "Well perhaps if you actually PARENTED your children, this overworked, underpaid employee would not have to."

It's like people are afraid to ask parents and their kids to have manners and respect for others... because when they do, the parents play their many chips, the "You just don't understand what it's like to be me," chip, or the "I've tried everything what do I do," chip... that one was particularly entertaining to me when I got asked that question at a parent conference... I was 22 years old. I was like "How the hell should I know, lady?" In that same conference, I got the parents attention because during the conference her son kept interupting her in the middle of her train of thought. He tried the same thing with me and I said, "Hey! I am having an adult discussion here with your mother. Your input at this time is NOT needed, and you will NOT interupt me again." His mom was shocked when he shut up and sat and sulked for the remainder of the conference. I wanted to say "There you go, try you know... being firm and telling him to shut up."

 

[airenlow]

I work at a grocery store. Parents like to drop their kids off at the toy section while they shop...it's pretty much the store day care now. I have started making lost child announcements when I see an unaccompanied minor over there. "There is a young boy, wearing a blue shirt, in the toy department who is looking for his mommy...blah blah blah". The parents are never pleased (usually embarrassed) but it gets the job done!

 

[Criosphynx]

When women in my office come in with their new babies and everyone stampedes to coo and aaww over the baby, they think it's wierd that I have no interest in even seeing the baby. I sure as heck don't want to hold it. I honestly have almost zero maternal instinct when it comes to human babies or children. Don't get me wrong, I value children as our future and anyone who harms a child should have their face chewed off by a rabid animal, followed by other body parts, but I have the right to steer clear of the little monsters (lol) in my life.

this is me 100%





I've actually HAD a child...which I gave up for adoption, call me heartless ..but no shed tears, just kicking myself for a massive mistake of having one. Would never, ever, ever do that again.



Theres a reason I played with stuffed animals not dolls...I'll keep my dogs thank you.

 

[The_Thunderer]

I'm all about each person making their own choice. As a person who takes care of my own kids AND other people's kids, it is quite obvious that some people made the wrong choice in having them.

That being said, respect should go both ways. If a woman chooses NOT to have kids, I respect that just as much as I would respect a woman's choice TO have kids. Just make sure she has the support structure around her to take care of them and not send them our way (husband, supportive family, supportive friends, etc.). There are simply too many "abandoned" kids out there...

 

[Kokopelli]

Confirms what I have always suspected...that women are indeed smarter than men. And I do not mind that a bit.

This kind of statement is something I avoid like acid... I mean... I hardly think men are smarter, don't get me wrong...
But I do believe that women and men are too different to actually compare. We each of a very different way of thinking, and each gender has it's strengths and follies...

I don't like "Black and White" statements.... I love gray, the whole world is beautifully gray in all shades and hues

As for not wanting kids... I don't really understand why people are so occupied with judging everyone according to their own standards...
I honestly cannot fathom why people should believe that there's ONLY ONE right way to live this life...

To some, not having kids could be the best course, for others, it may not... and both are just as fine.

Prejudice is judging someone due to a trait said person has no control over and that doesn't necessarily hint at their personality...
I think that if your experience proved that you do not get along with a certain type of people, it makes no sense to force yourself into annoying situations only to try and find the exception...

As long as you do not make generalizations that actually affect them in any way(such as not hiring them for instance), it seems like common sense to me...

 

[Kali]

This kind of statement is something I avoid like acid... I mean... I hardly think men are smarter, don't get me wrong...
But I do believe that women and men are too different to actually compare. We each of a very different way of thinking, and each gender has it's strengths and follies...

I don't like "Black and White" statements.... I love gray, the whole world is beautifully gray in all shades and hues

ssst! Let him believe it

 

[Hypancistrus]

This kind of statement is something I avoid like acid... I mean... I hardly think men are smarter, don't get me wrong...

I am either REALLY good at reading veiled sarcasm in a post... or others are REALLY bad. Either way, GO ME! :cheers:

 

[vetusvates]

Incidentally, Lauren, a good read. Different viewpoints, but civil conversation. Confirms what I have always suspected...that women are indeed smarter than men. And I do not mind that a bit.

This kind of statement is something I avoid like acid... I mean... I hardly think men are smarter, don't get me wrong...
But I do believe that women and men are too different to actually compare. We each of a very different way of thinking, and each gender has it's strengths and follies...

I don't like "Black and White" statements.... I love gray, the whole world is beautifully gray in all shades and hues

As for not wanting kids... I don't really understand why people are so occupied with judging everyone according to their own standards...
I honestly cannot fathom why people should believe that there's ONLY ONE right way to live this life...

To some, not having kids could be the best course, for others, it may not... and both are just as fine.

Prejudice is judging someone due to a trait said person has no control over and that doesn't necessarily hint at their personality...
I think that if your experience proved that you do not get along with a certain type of people, it makes no sense to force yourself into annoying situations only to try and find the exception...

As long as you do not make generalizations that actually affect them in any way(such as not hiring them for instance), it seems like common sense to me...

Oren, that was outlandish flamboyant sarcasm. Mostly at my own expense. In the absolute absurdity of such a blanket black and white statement lies the humor I tried to convey. I, too, avoid serious blanket black and white statements. If and when you see me make one, it is more than likely humor of the absurd.

 

[Jynx]

Wonderful articles! Thank you so much for sharing them with us.

So...what's the problem? :laugh:
This is how I've been living my life since I was 15-16 years old. And I've only become more subtle but more skillful at it as the years have gone by.

Seriously though, I like kids. Sweet, well-behaved kids that don't come home with me. I just say I don't like kids to be funny. Although I do prefer a neighborhood without. But that is just me, my own personal preference.

If I had decided to make a more detailed reply, it would've sounded almost identicle to this one... so I won't bother. I do have a step-son, but both of his parents are very active in his life. I do my part as step mom, but I prefer to stay back in the sidelines, and our relationship is great.

I enjoy kids in my circle, but I am childless by choice. Should my decision change, I will address it then. So far, I'm 100% happy with my choice

 

[Kokopelli]

well... Doi :awcrap:

Sometimes it's hard enough to detect sarcasm in your own language... don't judge me for not managing it in a second

 

[vetusvates]

well... Doi :awcrap:

Sometimes it's hard enough to detect sarcasm in your own language... don't judge me for not managing it in a second

LOL. I don't (seriously) judge too many people either. Although I do recognize those I like more than others.
When you see a post of mine, it's often sappy sweet, or has sarcasm in there somewhere. If I'm not involved in some heated socio-political discussion. Which I've been avoiding lately anyway.

I do think mastering another country's or another language's humor has probably got to be tricky.
I love watching foreign movies with subtitles on the Independent Film channel, or the Sundance channel. I watch movies in french, chinese, and japanese all the time....that I only know for sure that they are comedies because they are labelled as such.

NOTE : for those of you who may not know, Oren (Kokopelli) and I are the best of friends, and have been since shortly after I joined the form.

 

[tsst]

I think many that choose not to have kids would make better parents than many that do! :shrugs:

 

[tom e]

No kids for me, those who know me think that's a good choice, lol.
I want to get the surgery as soon as I can. I've told Jen long long ago when we first started dating as well, that that would never be an option with me. If I change my mind someday (as my parents, brothers, and sisters always tell me I will) I'll adopt, which I'd rather do anyway.
I don't judge anyone that does want kids, and I'm nowhere close to disliking kids, I like them a lot. I just don't want any.
By the way my little brother, the youngest of six of us, just had a little girl this weekend. I'm an uncle 9 times now! I figure that means our family genes are pretty well represented in the world.