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Off Topic Consequences; A Story. *Your* Story......

Lucille

Lucille

New member
"You're off topic, Mister" Lucille stood there with arms akimbo, a cast iron frying pan in one hand. The thread ruiner stared defiantly, whining "You can't tell me whut do do, I gots First Memment rights!!, I'll say whutever I dang please in your dang thread"

Lucille rolled her eyes in disbelief, and then
 
A giant African land snail came along and bestowed upon her the power of netiquette and understanding. She was at peace with the thread and at one with the interwebs.

She calmly walked away from the computer, opened her front door and saw...
 
lucillle said:
"You're off topic, Mister" Lucille stood there with arms akimbo, a cast iron frying pan in one hand. The thread ruiner stared defiantly, whining "You can't tell me whut do do, I gots First Memment rights!!, I'll say whutever I dang please in your dang thread"

Lucille rolled her eyes in disbelief, and then
Click to expand...


And he said...Ahhh to be young again!!!
 
Tula_Montage said:
A giant African land snail came along and bestowed upon her the power of netiquette and understanding. She was at peace with the thread and at one with the interwebs.

She calmly walked away from the computer, opened her front door and saw...
Click to expand...

A flying taco hovering at her eye-level. She reached out to snatch it, in an attempt to munch its taco-y goodness. It was then that she realized that it wasn't a taco.

It was...
 
RobbiesCornField said:
A flying taco hovering at her eye-level. She reached out to snatch it, in an attempt to munch its taco-y goodness. It was then that she realized that it wasn't a taco.

It was...
Click to expand...

Wade...having an out-of-body experience and taking every advantage of it! At that realization, Lucille once again raised the cast iron frying pan, took careful aim, but before she swung, she suddenly dropped it because Wade had whispered...
 
don't do it woman I'm just a wascally Wade. Lucille lowers the frying pan slowly still clutching it tight. They stand there in silence for a moment when.....
 
Wade cut the cheese!! Fouling the entire room, inciting both fear and intimidation. He stood silently, a high ball in one hand, his face red with embarrassment, trying to hold back the laughter and .....
 
As Wade was about to plot his next inappropriate outburst his wife sniffed him out like a blood hound. She sees Lucille standing there frying pan tightly in grip and ask......
 
I’m wasting away in Margarita Ville, looking for my lost shaker of salt…Sang the extraordinarily handsome Wade. Women from all across the land came hoping to get closer to him. He sipped his tequila and said,
 
"You're the topic, babe, and I'm on it".
Lucille didn't mind at all that her thread was hijacked, in fact she told Wade's wife....
 
wade said:
I’m wasting away in Margarita Ville, looking for my lost shaker of salt…Sang the extraordinarily handsome Wade. Women from all across the land came hoping to get closer to him. He sipped his tequila and said,
Click to expand...
Lucille, whuffo you got a frying pan, all the rest of the wimmen are dying to get closer to me! Lucille replied:
 
lucillle said:
Lucille, whuffo you got a frying pan, all the rest of the wimmen are dying to get closer to me! Lucille replied:
Click to expand...

"This isn't what it looks like, he only came over here to help me with my rodents drinking problem!"

Wades wife stood there dumbfounded. She placed her hand on her head, turned and walked out the door. Wade finished the rest of his drink, winked at lucille and asked her if she had a.....
 
Couch he could sleep on. Wade admitted he was uncomfortable with all the attention he received from women...even his wife. He had sought help once for this issue, but he just couldn't shake it, something was always off. Lucille rolled her eyes and threw him a blanket saying.........
 
danielle said:
Couch he could sleep on. Wade admitted he was uncomfortable with all the attention he received from women...even his wife. He had sought help once for this issue, but he just couldn't shake it, something was always off. Lucille rolled her eyes and threw him a blanket saying.........
Click to expand...

"13 Hours! I better not be disturbed! If I can't sleep that long, I get really cranky!"

Lucille picked the frying pan off the floor, carried it to the kitchen and began to cook a whole pound of......
 
medusacoils said:
"13 Hours! I better not be disturbed! If I can't sleep that long, I get really cranky!"

Lucille picked the frying pan off the floor, carried it to the kitchen and began to cook a whole pound of......
Click to expand...

Tofu infused with bacon fat, that way she could entertain all the meat-eaters and the vegetarians that were coming over for dinner. As Lucille contemplated whether sprinkling the tofu with bacon bits might be a bit much, she heard a thump from the living room . . .
 
lucillle said:
Before she could reply, Dean stormed in and demanded "What's going on here?"
Click to expand...

He began frantically pacing in circles! Swinging his hands in the air and gibbering about boxer shorts that he purchased at Kmart. He turned to Wade, who was tucking himself in, on the couch and said.....
 
sweet~nichole~marie said:
Tofu infused with bacon fat, that way she could entertain all the meat-eaters and the vegetarians that were coming over for dinner. As Lucille contemplated whether sprinkling the tofu with bacon bits might be a bit much, she heard a thump from the living room . . .
Click to expand...

She rant to see what was happening. To her amazement, she found Dean and Wade.....
 
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