Helicopter Parents vs Free Rangers

[GoFride]

My brothers and I were raised by relaxed, confident parents who would tell us to "go outside, find something to do, and don't come back until dinnertime". We had fantastic adventures, got into a few typical minor scrapes, and made friends with kids we never would have met any other way. We had a happy, healthy, fun childhood.
Parenting styles have changed so much since then. It's very common to see parents schedule, supervise, monitor, "enrich" and micromanage almost every hour, every day of their children's lives. I don't understand why this happened. The world we live in didn't become more dangerous. The crime rate now is a lot lower, according to police and FBI statistics. The kids didn't become more stupid from one generation to the next.
What seems to have changed is the way we react. We are "pre-terrified" of all sorts of things. I've met parents who act like they truly believe that their children are in mortal danger all the time. I've also met parents who believe their children should never have to deal with any sort of failure or (gasp!) disappointment. I've heard of parents who continue this over-involvement when their kids go to college or to job interviews.
The thing is, I've worked for overly involved, micromanaging bosses who treated me the way helicopter parents treat their children. These were without a doubt the worst nightmare bosses to work for. Why would anyone raise their children using that same meddling, "crazy-making" management style? Why has this behavior become so common in the U.S?

 

[MysticExotics]

I grew up in a very strict home, and I see more parents nowdays that are way too lax in "parenting". We get calls on a daily basis from parents who want the police to take care of their "out of control" child, we're talking kids as young as 6 or 8 years old. It's rediculous.

I disagree about the crime rate. We never had to worry about kids bringing guns to schools and shooting several people when I was in school. Now, it seems to be a fairly regular occurrence.
I've been in emergency services for 16 years now (started off as a Firefighter, now as a 911 Emergency Dispatcher), and violent crimes have gone up, dramatically. There have been at least two of these school shootings every month, for the past 24 months. (Not all of them are in the media). We're being trained on active shooter scenarios because of the increase in occurrence. Some Fire/Rescue/Aid agencies are being outfitted with kevlar vests because now they too, are being targeted in some areas.

When the economy started tanking, home burglaries increased, as did armed robberies. Assault with weapons are a regular thing anymore.

I'm sure there are parents who are over protective, but having been raised in that atmosphere, I'd rather have that, than the parents I see today, who don't care what their kids do, and call the police to handle them when they get out of control.

I think the increase in Drs readily handing out medications plays a big part as well.

 

[AliCat37]

See, I think parents these days shouldn't even be called parents. They sit their kids in front of the tv and forget about them. I think that there are far less "helicopter" parents than there used to be, and I think that is the problem. I do have to agree with you though about kids being raised without any sense of failure! There are even some schools out here getting rid of the grading system so that the kids who are doing poorly "don't feel bad".

Uhm, what?! A little competition never hurt anyone! We aren't preparing kids for the world anymore.

 

[MysticExotics]

Yes, I agree about that! It doesn't give them the drive to excel if "everybody wins".
And what is with graduations from preschool, kindergarten, 6th grade, etc? What happened to passing each grade to get TO (high school) graduation?

 

[Blue Apple Herps]

I disagree about the crime rate. We never had to worry about kids bringing guns to schools and shooting several people when I was in school. Now, it seems to be a fairly regular occurrence.
I've been in emergency services for 16 years now (started off as a Firefighter, now as a 911 Emergency Dispatcher), and violent crimes have gone up, dramatically. There have been at least two of these school shootings every month, for the past 24 months. (Not all of them are in the media). We're being trained on active shooter scenarios because of the increase in occurrence. Some Fire/Rescue/Aid agencies are being outfitted with kevlar vests because now they too, are being targeted in some areas.

Actually, school homicides have steadily fallen since 1993: http://www.ktvz.com/news/Study-School-shooting-deaths-down-from-past/17792282

I think part of that is perception. Back then news was a whole lot more local and wasn't a 24/7 phenomenon. So you wouldn't be constantly inundated with nonstop coverage of a school shooting like we are today. So I think its much easier today to think things are worse because a story will be heard about instantly and talked about for days afterwards and completely sensationalized by the news.

But I agree with the OP, kids can't be kids these days it seems. I remember when I was younger, we didn't have hours of homework (maybe 30 minutes max) and as soon as we were finished we ran outside until dinner time. And in the summer, would go right back outside after dinner until bedtime.

I will say that in our new neighborhood we moved into, there seems to be a whole lot more kids out running around being kids, which is great to see. So maybe there are at least some parents who are encouraging/making their kids get outside away from the TV and be kids.

 

[Nanci]

I was raised as a Free Ranger, and boy I did some stuff!! Most of which my parents never had a clue about But as a _younger_ Free Ranger, I could disappear outdoors ALL day and keep myself busy, mostly herping or birding or baby squirrel detecting. And up at the cabin- heaven! I even got to Free Range in a variety of boats!! But not the car, never the car. I raised my kid Free Range, too.

 

[MysticExotics]

Actually, school homicides have steadily fallen since 1993: http://www.ktvz.com/news/Study-School-shooting-deaths-down-from-past/17792282

I think part of that is perception. Back then news was a whole lot more local and wasn't a 24/7 phenomenon. So you wouldn't be constantly inundated with nonstop coverage of a school shooting like we are today. So I think its much easier today to think things are worse because a story will be heard about instantly and talked about for days afterwards and completely sensationalized by the news.

But I agree with the OP, kids can't be kids these days it seems. I remember when I was younger, we didn't have hours of homework (maybe 30 minutes max) and as soon as we were finished we ran outside until dinner time. And in the summer, would go right back outside after dinner until bedtime.

I will say that in our new neighborhood we moved into, there seems to be a whole lot more kids out running around being kids, which is great to see. So maybe there are at least some parents who are encouraging/making their kids get outside away from the TV and be kids.

That study is a year and a half old (December 2012), and lists the number of fatalities, not the number of occurances. They're not counting the number
that were injured but did not die, or the numbers where there were no injuries in the shooting.

As I mentioned, there's been at least 2 school shootings every month, for the past two years.
There was 13 school shootings within the first 6 weeks of 2014.

Just this morning there was a school shooting in Troutdale, OR.
It is listed as the 74th school shooting since the Sandy Hook shooting December 2012 (that article with the study on shootings was written right after that shooting).
Last week we had a shooting locally, at Seattle Pacific University.

Not to mention, a shooting at a local school in my city, last month.

 

[GabbieJade]

I would typically agree with this...up until about a week ago. I was in the side yard and my 4 year old was standing at the front of the side yard watering some plants, when a car pulled up with black tinted windows, and stopped right in front of my driveway. (About 10 feet from where she was standing). I immediately walked up to where she was and put her behind me and the car drove off.

Even though I live in a quiet neighborhood, outside of the city...things can still happen if you don't watch your kids close enough. When I was a kid it was the same way "Go outside and play". I used to end up a couple miles from home at the comic book store with friends and nobody cared...but now even in a quiet neighborhood I can't let my daughter in our own yard alone for 2 minutes

 

[Chip]

I disagree about the crime rate.

Violent crime is down, and has been going down steadily for decades. And gun crime in particular is down 49% since 1993, according to the FBI. http://www.fbi.gov/news/pressrel/pr...-the-national-incident-based-reporting-system

All of this means nothing if you or someone you love is a victim, of course. It sure *seems* school shootings are on the rise, since I had never heard of one before Columbine, and now they are an annual event. I do believe media coverage sways our perception of how dangerous it is out there, and fear sells. I do like the idea of free range kids, and I enjoyed being one. I can't even remember what a kid on a bike without a helmet looks like anymore.

 

[MysticExotics]

I do agree about media, I hate the media for so many reasons.

My view is more from behind the scenes, in dispatch, as well as when I was in the field. There's things that do not make the news, or only make local news. Stats that we get for our center as well as other centers around the country.

While the number of (school) shooting fatalities is down, the number of occurances are higher. Non-fatal injuries as well as the incidents where no one was hit was not counted in the study that claims that schools are actually "safer" now than they used to be.