How?

[josie]

I reciently find myself single again, at almost 43 years old, and I'm wondering how/ if ever I will find someone who will be ok with my snakes as I will NOT get rid of them for anyone. I get strange looks and reactions now from people. I find myself leary and reserved to begin with and a hesitation about my snakes gives me the .... Out and not have to get emotionally involved and there for cannot gety heart broken again. Is it even possible?

 

[Dustilyn]

Well, anything is possible, but being single has many advantages imho. Just do you. Stay involved in the things you love, be it snakes or whatever and enjoy the friendships you make along the way. Love may find you, or it may not, but don't waste time looking for it. Enjoy life for what it is right now.

 

[martin-bernstein]

As my mom, who is a single woman in her sixties, always says, "If I can't find someone who makes my life even better than it already is, then I'm fine being alone." If your snakes make you happy and you want to keep them, then whoever is a potential significant other should enrich your life. And if he doesn't like snakes, he ain't worth it anyway! Haha!

 

[MysticExotics]

As my mom, who is a single woman in her sixties, always says, "If I can't find someone who makes my life even better than it already is, then I'm fine being alone." If your snakes make you happy and you want to keep them, then whoever is a potential significant other should enrich your life. And if he doesn't like snakes, he ain't worth it anyway! Haha!

Exactly! I have been single for a while & I would much rather stay single & be happy with my life (& various creatures) than in a relationship where someone wants to limit me. I am self limiting, I won't take in more than I can handle by myself. I have many aspects of my life & I don't need someone to have the exact same, but my animals are the biggest part of my life & that is a deal breaker for me.

 

[BloodyBaroness]

It's a shame there is not a more "reptile friendly" singles place out there. You know, similar to the shared interest dating sites.

Fauna has a "lonely hearts" forum, but it's not highly trafficked and kinda creepy.

I'm going to echo the sentiments already said in this thread. I'm single and have been for a while. I love my animals and I'm not really a person who NEEDS to be in a relationship.

Most of the guys I've talked to lately balk at mention of snakes. Dude it's my hobby and it's not going any where. I'm not changing myself for someone else.

 

[josie]

First let me apologize, 90% of the time I am on CS now I am using my Iphone and if I'm not paying attention it will change words that I type and make it look like I'm drunk. LOL

I am not a person who has to be in a relationship, was single for almost 4 years before I met my exboyfriend. He was an animal person and I got my snakes while I was with him.

My friends keep telling me not to be a hermit, to get out and have fun, meet people. Most of them go to bars when they go out, that isn't me. I go out with them once in a while but would rather snuggle up with a good book and a glass of wine at home.

I wish there was a reptile club or something in my area.

 

[wilomn]

Check into Herpetological Societies. NOAH is up your way and is gigantic. The Chicago Herp Society is also large and both have widespread memberships.

Good luck.

 

[BloodyBaroness]

My friends keep telling me not to be a hermit, to get out and have fun, meet people. Most of them go to bars when they go out, that isn't me. I go out with them once in a while but would rather snuggle up with a good book and a glass of wine at home.

So are you busy this weekend? :roflmao: TOTALLY KIDDING!

I'm the exact same way. I do go out from time to time, but mainly just to hear my friend's band.

A lot of people tell me I'm not a people person, but I don't think that's true. I have a few people I would call true friends and keep my business to myself. Sue me if I don't go pouring myself all over ever human that crosses my path. That's just not my style.

 

[snakemom1961]

I've been single for over 3 yrs now, divorced for 9. I've gotten to the point in my life where I enjoy it. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. I don't have to explain my comings and goings to anyone. I don't have to explain why I purchased something. I've got my animals and my kids and to me that is what truly makes me happy. I hope your able to find happiness in your life with or without someone else.

 

[josie]

I'm the same way. I have a few people that I would consider true friends, others I'm friendly with but do not share my business with any of them. I see them when I am out, talk to them on the pc and when I run in to them.

So are you busy this weekend? :roflmao: TOTALLY KIDDING!

I'm the exact same way. I do go out from time to time, but mainly just to hear my friend's band.

A lot of people tell me I'm not a people person, but I don't think that's true. I have a few people I would call true friends and keep my business to myself. Sue me if I don't go pouring myself all over ever human that crosses my path. That's just not my style.

 

[tyflier]

I've been single for over 3 yrs now, divorced for 9. I've gotten to the point in my life where I enjoy it. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. I don't have to explain my comings and goings to anyone. I don't have to explain why I purchased something. I've got my animals and my kids and to me that is what truly makes me happy. I hope your able to find happiness in your life with or without someone else.

**Everybody put your hands in the air. This is a hijacking...

This is where I am getting. I'm not single, but I almost want to be...again...at 38...

My current girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and have lived together for the last 10 months. But I am having a really hard time with the constant "nagging", as it were. It wouldn't bother me quite so much if she were as hard on herself as she is on me, but that just doesn't happen.

My perception is that she feels like she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, which, as an adult, she CAN. But she requires me to be certain places at certain times, to perform certain chores and duties according to her schedule. In my opinion...either pick one or the other. Either follow your own strict schedule of chores, or agree that I make my own schedule, as well.

Anyhow...I'm ranting. Having a rough day, and this thread was perfect. Sorry to hijack it, but if the truth be told, being in a committed relationship is not all it's cracked up to be. It is very difficult to make one work even when both parties are fully committed, complimentary of personality, and a "perfect match", let alone when one is unwilling or unable to control their own ego enough to become half of an equal partnership.

It's getting to the point where I would much rather not have anyone else to answer to or worry about, except myself and my daughter...

**Thank you for your cooperation. We now return you to your regularly scheduled topic.

 

[kathylove]

Good for you!

Don't give up your animals or anything else that is important to you!

I got married at 26 - but expected to be single for life. I didn't think it too likely to find a guy who was weird in the same ways I was, and liked me, too - and vice versa! So I was prepared to be single rather than give up my passion for animals in general and reptiles in particular. But because I spent all of my time doing animal related things and hanging with animal people, and even starting a traveling reptile exhibit, it really helped in finding my hubby! And I am so happy it worked out that way.

I would never have considered going to bars, or any other noisy, smoky place, since I hate those kinds of places, and probably wouldn't be compatible living with people who enjoy those places.

So be true to yourself and to your own passions. Spend your off time going to herp society meetings (even if it is far away and you can't make every meeting), go to reptile expos, maybe even set up a table or help at the herp society table. This weekend is the big herpfest in Chicago - any chance you can get to it? Don't go to those places looking specifically for a guy. Go looking for FRIENDS. And chances are that you will find what you need with enough persistence. If not, at least you will have lots of cool herper friends!

Good luck!

 

[josie]

Hijack away. LOL I have been married twice, and divorced both. I was with my exboyfriend for a little over two years and we lived together for the last year. I do not nag, not even a little bit. He did what ever he wanted, when he wanted, and I didn't complain or give him attitude. The only thing I asked was that if he was going to go somewhere after work or was working over to let me know so I wouldn't worry. If he wanted to go out with friends, he did. If he wanted to stop at the bar after work with the guys, he did. I didn't have a problem with that at all. If there was something he wanted us to do, we did it. I enjoyed his friends, still talk to them, and liked hanging out with them too.

We had different tastes in music and some other things but I didn't think that had caused any issues. I supported myself and my daughter, paid MORE of the bills then he did, didn't expect him to spend tons of money on me, etc. I am very low maintanence. LOL

I was with my exhusband for 13 years and I ended up being right where you are....fed up with the double standards and two seperate sets of rules. I got tired of being the one to handle everything with the house , kids, cars, schools...everything and worked two jobs. He felt going to work everyday was the extent of his requirements. I finally figured if I was doing it all what the heck did I need him for, so out the door he went.

I'm going to search online and try and find a herp society somewhere around me. I hope I can find one. The only friends I have who has snakes or lizards are the friends I have made on here and another good friend.

**Everybody put your hands in the air. This is a hijacking...

This is where I am getting. I'm not single, but I almost want to be...again...at 38...

My current girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and have lived together for the last 10 months. But I am having a really hard time with the constant "nagging", as it were. It wouldn't bother me quite so much if she were as hard on herself as she is on me, but that just doesn't happen.

My perception is that she feels like she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, which, as an adult, she CAN. But she requires me to be certain places at certain times, to perform certain chores and duties according to her schedule. In my opinion...either pick one or the other. Either follow your own strict schedule of chores, or agree that I make my own schedule, as well.

Anyhow...I'm ranting. Having a rough day, and this thread was perfect. Sorry to hijack it, but if the truth be told, being in a committed relationship is not all it's cracked up to be. It is very difficult to make one work even when both parties are fully committed, complimentary of personality, and a "perfect match", let alone when one is unwilling or unable to control their own ego enough to become half of an equal partnership.

It's getting to the point where I would much rather not have anyone else to answer to or worry about, except myself and my daughter...

**Thank you for your cooperation. We now return you to your regularly scheduled topic.

 

[Hypancistrus]

So are you busy this weekend? :roflmao: TOTALLY KIDDING!

Don't kid!! I found the love of my life-- my second (and better) half on THIS forum, with a brief PM similar to what you just wrote!!

(And yes, I am a nerd and saved the PM)

 

[Allalaskan]

Don't kid!! I found the love of my life-- my second (and better) half on THIS forum, with a brief PM similar to what you just wrote!!

(And yes, I am a nerd and saved the PM)

I didnt know you two were together. Shows how much I pay attention some times lol. I knew you were with some one named Tara, just never realized it was Whippet haha

 

[Nanci]

Tara and Lauren are the herp-loving success story of the century!! I am so happy for them!!

I'm in a committed relationship with Fred, and happier than I have been in years! I met him through this forum, too!

 

[snakemom1961]

Lol Nanci. Now thats my kind of relationship!

 

[josie]

Fred is a handsome devil!

Tara and Lauren are the herp-loving success story of the century!! I am so happy for them!!

I'm in a committed relationship with Fred, and happier than I have been in years! I met him through this forum, too!

 

[vetusvates]

As my mom, who is a single woman in her sixties, always says, "If I can't find someone who makes my life even better than it already is, then I'm fine being alone." If your snakes make you happy and you want to keep them, then whoever is a potential significant other should enrich your life. And if he doesn't like snakes, he ain't worth it anyway! Haha!

Precisely.

My current girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and have lived together for the last 10 months. But I am having a really hard time with the constant "nagging", as it were. It wouldn't bother me quite so much if she were as hard on herself as she is on me, but that just doesn't happen.

My perception is that she feels like she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, which, as an adult, she CAN. But she requires me to be certain places at certain times, to perform certain chores and duties according to her schedule. In my opinion...either pick one or the other. Either follow your own strict schedule of chores, or agree that I make my own schedule, as well.

Chris, I think this is perfectly normal and widespread among heterosexual couples. Your girlfriend's genotype is XX, and she is just expressing the "normal" or "classic phase" phenotype. I have had numerous girlfriends (same genetic phenomena) and this was pretty much true to a greater or lesser degree.

 

[Nanci]

So what is the normal, classic _male_ phenotype, Eric?