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Need Help!

rockmonky

rockmonky

I'm normally impaired
Ok so here is the skinny,
My Girl Friends ex is a controlling ass, and has told us that he is going to turn us into social services and take away the visitation with our girls if we dont get rid of the snakes. Obviously he knows nothing about snakes.
If it were my choice I would give him a hard blow to the jaw just like he does to all the woman in his life, but this needs to be handled civil.
I have shown him that they are in safe racks and there is no way they can get out. The girls are not allowed to hold them because we know he would freak.
What I need to find is some litature that will show him that corns and juvenal Balls are harmless and could never kill the kids.

Thanks TIM
 
Tell him to contact social services. Sounds to me like he's the controlling type and is making you jump through his hurdles. I could be wrong, as I don't know the guy, but I'd call his bluff.

D80
 
Drizzt80 said:
Tell him to contact social services. Sounds to me like he's the controlling type and is making you jump through his hurdles. I could be wrong, as I don't know the guy, but I'd call his bluff.

D80
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DITTO!! The guy is just trying to alpha dog you. hold your ground, call his bluff.
 
WOW! that sounds like my sisters mom but dude he is prolly just bluffing i mean how old are ur kids if they are over the age of 1 day old i think they will be fine
 
I would love to call his bluf. but his whole family is like him!
He is a total mommas boy and when my Gf left him in the family car, his mom had her arested on felony theft!!!
We have called SS on him several times for child abuse and his mom works for the Government and managed to get the case dropped every time.
We are working to getting full custody of the girls but Lawyers cost$$$$ and his momma pays for a good lawyer for him.
I was going to try the civil thing first.

TIM
 
I don't think social services would have a problem with the snakes to be honest. Do you keep any 'dangerous' species? It would look really good for you I think, if they came over and you were just really pleasant about the whole thing. Give them a tour, talk some science and make it seem like a great educational place to be a kid!
Don't let yourself look the slightest bit upset by his busybodying, and I think you'll look like the saner person.
Make sure you are documenting everything though, it's worth noting all this stuff WHEN you're finally in court.
 
I wonder if Fred would have any suggestions. What's his name, Thunderer??? He has foster kids, right? Apparently they haven't all been eaten by snakes...I'm sorry he's doing this to you guys, Tim.
 
If I were in this scenario, I'd call social services myself, explain the situation with the ex and his threats, and ask them to send someone to come and inspect the animals and their housing for any "danger". Or course, before they arrive I'd make sure that everything is perfect, such as having the snakes in a room that I can lock or some such, just with a simple slide bolt near the top that children would have a really hard time reaching.
 
rockmonky said:
If it were my choice I would give him a hard blow to the jaw just like he does to all the woman in his life, but this needs to be handled civil.

Thanks TIM
Click to expand...
Nothings off limits if he's hitting anybody, especially if he's abusive to women or children, by any means necessary. It sounds like snakes are the last concern here, and these type of situations usually have more underlying issues, so I doubt the snakes are really the problem.
Keep the snakes securely caged, well cared for, etc... and call his bluff if you have to, but he sounds like the type that will always have something to say, regardless of your snakes.

Good luck, I hope he gets what he deserves, I like watching sleezeballs fry.
 
call him

Call him on the the phone and set up a time to talk with him ,try to work things out man to man:argue:
 
Be proactive NOW...

find a pediatrician who agrees with you that the way you keep your snakes is educational, not dangerous. You may have to talk to several doctors before you find the right one - just because they are doctors does not mean they don't hold some of the same ignorant and prejudiced views that others have. Once you find one, ask him / her to write a letter on his letterhead that states why your snakes are a good idea. A letter from a vet might be good as well.

Then find a teacher who is willing to write a letter discussing why snakes and other pets can be very educational and important in teaching responsibility, etc. If you have any friends who are professionals in the medical or education fields, keep letters on file from them, too. When and if this control freak tries to make trouble for you, you will have enough ammunition that even an overworked (but phobic and anti - snake) child welfare agent will be happy to cross you off her list as "no problem" - and go on to her next case.

In fact, once you have been properly "armed", let this abuser know that all of your professional helpers are ready to defend you, so he can go ahead and do whatever he wants to do. That might take the wind out of his sails, and prompt him go abuse somebody unable to defend themselves.
 
I doubt they'd do anything, especially with corns and bps. If you had a larger species, like a burmese or retic, then maybe. But others have given good advice already - I don't think you have much to worry about honestly.

Does he have any pets? You could counter threat saying you'll turn him in for having a pet -a "nice" dog can turn around and bite, a "nice" cat can turn around and claw/scratch a kid.

Of course its ridiculous to turn someone in to SS for cats and dogs, just as it is for harmless snakes.
 
While you are correct that it is ridiculous, it doesn't mean that humaniac or phobic government employees won't pursue it if it fits their ignorant agenda. Just depends on how lucky you are in drawing the right government employee. I wouldn't want to trust my luck on getting somebody who is knowledgeable, reasonable, and unbiased, or even logical. I have dealt with government zoning boards - supposedly the educated among the county. Believe me, you want to be armed with overwhelming evidence to support your point.

I have also noticed over the years that uninformed and biased people are more likely to be swayed by info from "experts" who have a lot of letters after their names (PhD, DVM, MD, etc), rather than "normal people" who just have years of experience to guide them. So give them what they want and save yourself some grief! Make it easier for them to say "yes" than "no". Most government employees will take the path of least resistance - so make it easy for them to agree with you.
 
kathylove said:
While you are correct that it is ridiculous, it doesn't mean that humaniac or phobic government employees won't pursue it if it fits their ignorant agenda. Just depends on how lucky you are in drawing the right government employee. I wouldn't want to trust my luck on getting somebody who is knowledgeable, reasonable, and unbiased, or even logical. I have dealt with government zoning boards - supposedly the educated among the county. Believe me, you want to be armed with overwhelming evidence to support your point.
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You're absolutely correct. I'm just point out that cornsnakes/ball pythons pose no more danger to a child than a dog or cat.
 
It sounds like this guy is more about control or fear than logic. Teaching will likely do nothing.

I would contact social services yourself and clarify your rights, and to give them a heads up to his rantings. The system is pretty messed up, but if he goes to them you will be in the same position anyways.

Be extra nice to everyone involved, even the jerkbag. I just will make him look crazy while you look reasonable, and may tick him off even more.

I do like the idea of finding a doctor or expert of some kind to back you up.

I would stress that while the kids are the number one priority, the snakes are a responsibility of yours too and you do not view living things as disposable.
 
Thank you all for the advice!!
He is coming over to pick up the kids later and were going to chat.

TIM
 
I can't tell you how many times my husband's ex(Jonathon and Ariel's bio-mom)has threatened AND called CPS on us about the snakes. We have full complete custody and she has supervised visitation 2x a month. CPS has never even been here about it! He's just trying to scare you all and be in control as much as he can. Don't fall for it and don't worry. Last time she freaked out was when our daughter came outside with our amel girl around her shoulders. She swore the snake was going to kill her and we were being negligent. Our daughter actually laughed at her and started spouting off facts and when she walked over to the car her mother starting screaming bloody murder and tore out of drive-way. Now THAT is negligent!
 
I agree with everyone else here. I have full custody of my daughter because 4 days after she was born my ex left me for his bartender and signed his own rights away trying to evade paying child support; which by the way doesn't fly in our state thank god. Once he figured that out all the sudden he wanted full custody and used my reptiles as ammo in court. Child services was not impressed in the least though they did come out and actually commented on how cute they were and how nice all the cages looked- they only came because my daughter broke her leg at his house and he didn't take her to the ER until the next morning so they were investigating him,lol when he had to throw in I kept dirty animals in our home so yes they did look. The thing is there is not one law about keeping reptiles with children in the house so they can't even investigte the reptiles alone and more children are injured by their family dog which are statistics not even a reptile hater can ignore. In court the judge actually laughed and told him my dangerous reptiles brought in more money than his salary a year because I stay home with my kids finihing up grad school he wanted the judge to tell me to work...men is all I can say. Have you guys considered not being threatened by him or his family...you don't need a good lawyer in family court unless you have something that needs defending trust me on that one- they hear it all and aren't that stupid:)
 
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