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Harsh site?

Rich Z

Staff member
I dunno, perhaps this site is just too harsh for a lot of people, and that explains people going elsewhere. First I'll show you the conversation I just had with a member, then point you to the thread this discussion is about.

Could you unregister me please
I would be very grateful if you would unregister me when you have a moment please.

Thank you.

Rich Z said:
Why? Because you consider yourself fully versed in all aspects of corn snakes, and have taken offense at someone else pointing out that the information you have gotten is not precisely accurate nor comprehensive?

Why not just take this as a learning experience instead of taking it personal? Is that impossible for you to do?

I bred corn snakes for over 30 years and I know I don't know absolutely everything about them. Maybe even after 100 years, I still wouldn't. So please try to be a bit more open to new ideas presented to you. There is no shame in learning something new.

Rich Z.

Very happy to learn, and I stressed many times in my posts that I am inexperienced and that the opinions of more experienced members should take priority. But I don't appreciate the tone on here which for me personally I find unecessarily impolite and offensive on the part of one or more of the senior posters. Judging from recent posts written by other beginners, I do not appear to be alone in having this opinion. I personally believe that this is unhelpful, and is hardly conducive to encouraging beginners to ask questions and to sort out the bad advice from the good. This tone may suit some folks - it does not suit me and I doubt I am alone. I think it is a shame, and that only the snakes of inexperienced and confused keepers will suffer.

I don't want to have this debate on the open forum posts. This is your forum, and long may it continue with my sincere best wishes. But it is not the place for me and I shan't post again, so again I would be grateful if you would unregister me. Many thanks.

Rich Z said:
I am honestly incredulous that you consider any posts in that thread as being "impolite and offensive". Is this your first foray into the internet or outside life in general? You have never had anyone disagree with you before?

Sorry, but I will not gut that thread by deleting your posts (which would happen if I "unregistered" you) just to try to sooth your apparently extremely tender feelings.

Otherwise, have a great day.

All the above pertains to this thread -> http://www.cornsnakes.com/forums/showthread.php?t=145532

So was I too harsh with this person? Should I have had a much gentler approach? :shrugs:
The thread was fine. No one in there was impolite or offensive. To be honest, yes in these pms you can come off as condescending, but I also can't imagine the level of bs you have to deal with so I'm not going to hold that against you. :p

I just don't understand why the OP doesn't just.... not come back? Why this focus on unregistering?

Frankly, I'm super happy that thread got started because I never would have considered worm for starting a corn snake. I have a little non-feeder that I've done a couple force-feeds on to keep it going while I kept trying, but now I'm going to go and get a container of earthworms and see if he'll take a small one.
OMG I knew you were talking about the "worm" thread before I even got to the end of your posting!
I guess for some folks it's hard to accept that they might not know as much as they'd like to think they do. Or maybe it's the "everybody gets a trophy" mentality at work here. lol I didn't think that was a harsh thread at all but I could tell someone did not like being corrected either. That's on them not the site.

These people are going to find out that the rest of the hobby is as bad if not much, much worse lol. They're snakes, not fancy teacup poodles, and I find that pets are frequently a reflection of their owners to varying degrees. Generally speaking, in ANY animal profession, if you want to be taken seriously you need to grow a spine and take your licks, cuz you're gonna be wrong about something sometime and not everyone's going to pat you on the hand and give you a "there, there, it's ok" sympathy speech. Anyone who expects that kind of pandering falls under the category I've labeled "casual pet owner" and frankly I'm getting quite sick of many of those types of people.
Oh yeah, I was trying REAL hard not to come across even more harshly than I apparently did in the PMs. I rarely ever send out the very first rendition of a reply I pound out on the keyboard.... :laugh: I think I am a whole lot more mellow now than I used to be. Or I have at least learned to count to 300 before sending off messages that I can't take back. The keyboard equivalence to biting my tongue, I guess.

Heck, my attitude leans more towards accepting that every time I am wrong I have learned something new, rather than trying to defend some point of view that weighty and credible evidence points heavily against. Of course, there is no natural law that states that even if I am the only one to believe something, that my position MUST be wrong..... I might actually be the only one who is correct. :grin01:

Point of the matter is, actually, that this person decided the site was too harsh BEFORE the PM conversation even took place. So that had no bearing on his decision. It was based solely on the content of the above indicated thread. Which didn't seem at all harsh to me. :shrugs:
I think that person needs a coloring book and a cup of hot chocolate. Isn't that what university students get these days, when the political climate is just too much to bear?
I was a much more sensitive person when I first joined this forum and I only found you all helpful and encouraging, so..
I think some members expect us to sit around a campfire singing Kumbaya all evening. We are all individuals seeking to help others using the knowledge we have gained over the years. We can loosely be called a "corn snake" family, and as in any family we can find a gruff person or two, a kind person, one who has opinions on politics or religion that drive others bonkers, and one who thinks he or she knows it all. If you keep an open mind you can learn a lot. If you don't like a thread or post just click off it. I've been on forums where the members were down right nasty to each other. This one is mild compared to them.
You could have directed him to a Ball python site, or an Snake ID page if he needs his feelings hurt for real...


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Well, hopefully he found a pleasant place on facebook to burrow into.
Just stumbled on this and read the thread in question. It wasn't the OP asking for de-registration, rather the one a few posts down. I also see the post that drove her to wanting out.

It's too bad that a little friendly advice can be taken so much out of context. Oh well..

Get the marshmallows and start the campfire as Twolunger suggested and let's all join in song!